The Kalwejt Foundation for the Promotion of Atlas Hilarity

[GM Team Member and Deputy PPT WB]

More specifically, Traders actively engaged in an attempt at mass murder.

Oh, Badger and your STT...

[Battista Minola 1616]

This is just perfect

Before they officially join they must recite the Red Avatar Prayer:
I confess to Almighty Marx, and to you, my non-binary comrades, that I have microaggression in thought, word, and deed; in what I have done and in what my ancestors failed to do, by my fault, by my fault, by my most grievous privilege; wherefore I pray before almighty Marx to have mercy on me, forgive me all my sins, and bring me to everlasting virtue signaling. Amen and Awomen.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

It is funny how the Elves always presents themselves as the revolutionary vanguard, but the street power of the Elves merely amounts to burning down a few goblin tunnels, it is the Orcs which are clearly the revolutionary force, storming Minas Tirith, note how Manwe supported the Fellowship but sent out the eagles against the Nazgul, shows who the real revolutionary faction is and who the establishment is.

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

More specifically, Traders actively engaged in an attempt at mass murder.

Oh, Badger and your STT...

In his case STT stands for Speech-To-Trash.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Whenever I see "Young Kim" in headlines I think it's some rapper I haven't heard of for a second.

Young Kim on the track, I think gays are wack
In 2022 please vote me back

[Badger]

I am a surgeon taking away critical minutes from my time-sensitive open heart surgery to post in this important thread because I just need to share my superior intellectual insights: “bitch” is typically used as a gendered insult with different meanings when used against men or women. I typically avoid using it unless it is in a joking manner

Edit: My patient has died. My nurse is being a bitch and saying it was because I was on my phone

That maybe one of the greatest of all times.

[Badger]

More specifically, Traders actively engaged in an attempt at mass murder.

Oh, Badger and your STT...

Oh come on. All the bizarre and crazy misinterpretations my voice to text app creates and the best you can find is one that mistook traitors for traders?

Come back after you find a more funny example. There are plenty to choose from.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Slavoj Žižek sounds funny and comes from friendly neighbour Slovenia, so he gets my uninformed vote.

Zizek actually has a sense of humor, which automatically makes him more tolerable than 99% 100% of leftists.

Fixed that for you (leftist).

*Shniff* Sho here you have theesh theeng, theesh webshite, zhe "Atlash Forum," or zhe Talk Electionsh Blog, if zhat eesh what you like to call eet, and sho on and sho on. What eesh actually zhe dirty little shecret of zhees shite, you shee, ees zhat itsh ruling ideology eesh very much een line with zhe communisht short of worldview zhat ees prevalent een old Yugoshalvia. *Sniff* You have theesh pershon for exshample, Olawakandi, who eesh very much a model of a communisht dictator; you will be oshtracized or banished or eegnored if you do not revere him, and sho forth. Every poll zhat eesh good for you eesh an A-plush rated poll; every poll zhat eesh bad becomesh "trash" or "junk," sho to shpeak. Theesh usersh eat and sheet ideology on a daily basish, only pay attenshion to what they like. *Shniff* Eet eesh like zhe old Croatian joke; zhe man who losht hees eye een zhe war, and sho he meetsh a nice young lady, you know, and pokesh out her eye as well, becaush zhat way he will shee himshelf reflected in zhe world. And sho you have theesh usersh on zhe Atlash Forum, zhey poke out all zhe pollsh they do not weesh to shee, and sho they do not shee zhe world, but only ideology, and zhe processh of alienation and sho on. *Cough* *Wheeze*

[SevenEleven]

I find him utterly lacking in sophistication, and you can interpret that however you want. HP.

He is a smug deplorable with a certain amount of intellectual standing.

In the sense that 3 ml of water is a "certain amount", I think we agree!

I completely disagree, I think he is quite sophisticated. Now, whether that's a good or bad thing, given how he uses his intellectual standing... that's up to you.

He's sophisticated the same way Calvin Candie was sophisticated.

[Continential]

Low, although thankfully that's about to change.

[ltomlinson31]

Posters who think that bronz is an FF and those who think he’s an HP are naturally going to segregate into different corners of the forum.  I am not defending it, but basic human tribalism shows that people like to associate themselves with people who have similar opinions of bronz.

“FF” voters like to associate themselves with other “FF” voters.

“HP” voters like to associate themselves with other “HP” voters.

I don't understand why people have a problem with that.

I don't care what your opinion of bronz is, I would get along with you. I try to get along with posters with all opinions of bronz.

The fact of the matter is that most posters like segregation.  They hang around people that have like-minded opinions of bronz.  HP voters need to understand that before they continue with the guilt and shaming. People like to be around people that think like them.

[Joseph Cao]

(see thread for context)

Let's try and do the roughest analysis I can give possible,

Alabama's delegation takes on Sewell and eliminates her with no problem, and she is unable to cause any substantial damage,

+6 GOP, they find Don Young, +7 GOP

They then stumble upon the AZ delegation duking it out, AZ dems beat the AZ GOP, outnumber them 5-4 and all 5 are pretty hearty while schwekert is frail, I'll be generous and give the gop 2 dem casualties, so the three dems then fight the 7 republicans who stumbled on them, they are tired while the 7 are fresh, so let's net it out to +5 GOP

they then get to +9 GOP with Arkansas as they go into the suicidal fight against the CA delegation, 42 dems vs 20 GOP, they should draw about even, so +22 dem

they then find the co delegation, which co dems win fairly easily, and net another 2, to +24 dem, they then get to +30 dem as they find the ct ppl and blunt rochester,

they then find the FL delegation duking it out, which the FL GOP wins, but not by much, as the dems are quite hearty there, and the GOP only has two left who go down swinging, which will go to +28 dem.

they then find the GA delegation, which the GA GOP wins easily as the dems there are old or women, +4 GOP, they are tired though and only get 3 casualties on the dem hoard before going down, +25 dem

the dem delegation is pretty tired at this point, so it is a huge moral booster to add the chads from hawaii to get to +27 dem,

the roving hoard then kills simpson and fulcher while taking only one casualty from the moral boost, +26 dem

they then find the il delegation duking it out, the il dems obvsly win, but the il gop are a hearty bunch that inflicts quite a bit of damage, doing 7 casualties before all 5 dying themselves, so these 6 dems join the dem hoard to +32 dem,

they then find the indiana delegation, in gop wins but mrvan and carson are two hearty boiz who take down 3 before going down themselves, these four gop'rs are then taken down by the dem mob for equal casualties, +28 dem

cindy axne is then taken out by the iowa gop without much damage to them, they then duke it out with the tired dem mob for equal casualties, +25 dem

they then find the kansas delegation which finally manages to subdue sharice davids, but she manages to take out one of the fatties before going down, these two other kansan goprs are mowed down by the dem mob equal casualties, +23 dem,

they then find the ky delegation which has easily crushed yarmuth, and this hearty bunch goes down to the dem mob, for a slight gop net gain, +17 dem,

they then find the la delegation of whom the gop wins, but cedric richmond manages to destroy scalise first, the three republicans slightly net gain as they are hearty, +13 dem, hardly a mob anymore

they find the maine delegation +15 dem

they find the md delegation which has killed harris with no issues, +22 dem

they find the ma delegation, +31 dem, now a hoard again,

they find the mi delegation, dems slightly win, adding one very battered dan kildee to their ranks, all the rest from the delegation on both sides are dead, +32 dems,

they then find the mn delegation, two gop survive, exhausted, dems effectively net gain one for +31 dem

they find the ms delegation, gop has won, lost one of their own, no nets for either side, +29 dem

they find the mo delegation which gop has won, but billy long is dead F, these 5 pubbies face off against the dem hoard, equal casualties, +24 dem

matt rosendale is killed, no casualties for dems

find nebraska delegation, net lose one to fresh hearty boiz, but still mob advantage doesnt make it super fair, +21 dem

find the nv delegation, amodei is killed without much damage to dems, +24 dems

find nh delegation, +26 dems,

uneventful nj delegation fight, dems are left with 9, mob grows to +35 dems

find nm delegation, herell and haaland die, +1 dem added, mob becomes +36 dems

finds ny delegation, neither group is very hearty, 13 dems survive, grows to +49 dems, a jatha,

NC dems are weak, get wrecked, 5 gop survivors, tired tho since they arent great themselves, equal match to dems, + 44 dems

find kelly armstrong, renewed vigor allows them to kill him without any casualties,

ohio, similar story to nc, 10 republicans left, they are a hearty bunch and manage to go down fighting and net, +32 dems

OK, similar story to ne, +25 dems

oregon, bentz is killed without an issue, hoard grows to +29 dems

PA, dems simply have too many women, only narrowly lose though thanks to beast dwight evans, 2 weak gop stragglers are easily picked off by the hoard, net dem, +28 dem hoard

they find rhode island delegation, +31 dem, but langevin is in a wheelchair so hardly counts,

clyburn is killed without an issue, draw with the dem hoard, +25 dem

dusty johnson killed without an issue,

cohen and cooper are smart and target and get harshbinger before being taken out, 6 republicans face off, slightly net for gop, +18 dem

they find the tx brawl, the tx dems obvsly lose with sheer numbers, but they are a hearty bunch, while the gop is meh, and before all 13 die, despite the numbers, take out 15 republicans, the remaining exhausted 8 republicans take on the dem hoard, for a dem net gain over the exhausted republicans, +12 dem

dem moral gets low as they encounter the utah delegation, fresh hearty bunch, net lose, only 6 dems left after they take out the utah gop,

they find peter welch, +7 dems

they find the virginia delegation, pretty equal, 2 dems survivors, +9 dems

they find the washington delegation, dems are heartyish and the gop is pretty weak, 5 dem survivors, +14 dems

they find the wv delegation, pretty weaksauce but dems are exhausted and they are fresh, draw, +11 dems

they find the wi delegation, dems are meh, gop also meh, gop slightly better and numerical advantage, 3 gop survivors, take on dems, +8 dem draw

they kill liz cheney without an issue

everyone is dead but 8 dem survivors.

[Battista Minola 1616]

This actually belongs to the Simple Truths and Smart One Liners thread, but in any case:

sorry bruh i don’t need drugs i’m high on microsoft excel

[Sol]

Was reading an old thread and found this

Sanders will never do that, because it's not beneficial to his campaign. Because of the almost religious like following he has, his supporters believe that anything goes. In the 2016 campaign some of them were circulating a screen cap from the Rocky Horror Picture Show saying that it was him and his wife attending a transgender rights rally in the 70s.

That reminds me of a bad experience that I had with one of his volunteers. They asked me to put my hand in a concealed jar. The jar contained only cold noodles but she told me that it was brains.

[WMS]

Give credit where it’s due:

I say we impeach the 24th President, Grover Cleveland, but let the 22nd President, Grover Cleveland be.

[VAR]

Not sure I trust this neck of the woods to run a new election better than the last. Just have Brindisi and Tenney play a match of Super Smash Bros or something and let's move on with our lives.

[Kingpoleon]

Yes, our dreams can be premonitions about the future, due to fact space and time and the future are different once you get outside our atmosphere and get into space itself.

That's why Reincarnation is believable now, we can come back in another form

What a load of BS.

Don't you dare speak to OC like that! He's trying to share his deep wisdom with you and this is how you respond, SMH.

[VAR]

This thread in a nutshell:

Peak Harry/Brucejoel/Badger: We must pass DC statehood, it’s a matter of equal representation! We would tooootally want to admit a GOP territory if they were underrepresented! This is certainly not about the Democratic senators we have said we wanted, no sireee!”

OSR: “The right thing to do is 100% to leave hundreds of thousands of tax paying Americans unrepresented because I want to keep the Reagan/Trump-cultists in power. Also can we find a way to keep those scary brown people in Georgia from voting, that would be great...

MillenialModerate: “Oh my god it’s been two days and DC isn’t a state yet with two senators. This is proof Schumer sucks and I am so ANGRY! The Democrats should have passed DC statehood five milliseconds after they took the majority, screw you Schumer and Markey! Kennedy would have passed it by now.”

OC: “Hahahaha Progmod told me Schumer pass DC statehood, but he was wrong just like about Georgia. Schumer doesn’t have votes to break filibuster and reconciliation, DC statehood won’t happen until 2023 when Democrats will win in a landslide because of recovering economy and get a filibuster proof MAJORITY 😎😎😎”

[Badger]

Sorry but this is just ridiculous. The hate people have for historical figures is completely unfair. The United States wouldn’t exist with “Columbia” so it makes sense to name the capital after her despite everything

She’s not gonna sleep with you.

[Joseph Cao]

Sorry but this is just ridiculous. The hate people have for historical figures is completely unfair. The United States wouldn’t exist with “Columbia” so it makes sense to name the capital after her despite everything

She’s not gonna sleep with you.

Perhaps an unpopular opinion, and unrelated to the topic at hand, but the “s/he’s not gonna sleep with you” one-liner is purposeless, infantile, a hideously perverted variant of pointless snark, way past its sell-by date, and should be cast into the outer darknesses of the internet where it belongs.

[John Dule]

Sorry but this is just ridiculous. The hate people have for historical figures is completely unfair. The United States wouldn’t exist with “Columbia” so it makes sense to name the capital after her despite everything

She’s not gonna sleep with you.

Perhaps an unpopular opinion, and unrelated to the topic at hand, but the “s/he’s not gonna sleep with you” one-liner is purposeless, infantile, a hideously perverted variant of pointless snark, way past its sell-by date, and should be cast into the outer darknesses of the internet where it belongs.

I just assume that people who say this are completely obsessed with sex. Like the socialists who turned "AOC feet pics" into a meme despite the fact that no one other than them ever thought of such a thing.

[Donerail]

I just assume that people who say this are completely obsessed with sex. Like the socialists who turned "AOC feet pics" into a meme despite the fact that no one other than them ever thought of such a thing.

It's a meme b/c certain conservative pundits cannot stop tweeting about her. All we are doing is recognizing their subconscious sexual obsession.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Sorry but this is just ridiculous. The hate people have for historical figures is completely unfair. The United States wouldn’t exist with “Columbia” so it makes sense to name the capital after her despite everything

She’s not gonna sleep with you.

Perhaps an unpopular opinion, and unrelated to the topic at hand, but the “s/he’s not gonna sleep with you” one-liner is purposeless, infantile, a hideously perverted variant of pointless snark, way past its sell-by date, and should be cast into the outer darknesses of the internet where it belongs.

I thought that too, but I can’t fathom why else someone would be so invested in defending an abstract representation that only appears in that one painting in history textbooks. It just strikes me as fundamentally weird, doubly so if there’s no sexual component.

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

Sorry but this is just ridiculous. The hate people have for historical figures is completely unfair. The United States wouldn’t exist with “Columbia” so it makes sense to name the capital after her despite everything

She’s not gonna sleep with you.

Perhaps an unpopular opinion, and unrelated to the topic at hand, but the “s/he’s not gonna sleep with you” one-liner is purposeless, infantile, a hideously perverted variant of pointless snark, way past its sell-by date, and should be cast into the outer darknesses of the internet where it belongs.

I just assume that people who say this are completely obsessed with sex. Like the socialists who turned "AOC feet pics" into a meme despite the fact that no one other than them ever thought of such a thing.

Guilty as charged.

[Anzeigenhauptmeister]

That poll though... 🤣

https://talkelections.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=426830