The Kalwejt Foundation for the Promotion of Atlas Hilarity

[John Dule]

I just assume that people who say this are completely obsessed with sex. Like the socialists who turned "AOC feet pics" into a meme despite the fact that no one other than them ever thought of such a thing.

It's a meme b/c certain conservative pundits cannot stop tweeting about her. All we are doing is recognizing their subconscious sexual obsession.

The fact that you are bringing sex into the discussion (because she's a woman) says much more about you than it does about them.

[Battista Minola 1616]

This is an old post but I am surprised it was never immortalized here, it's simply beautiful.

Harry S Truman dumping GeneralMacArthur:

In the simplest of terms, what we are doing with the forum updates is this: We are trying to make the Atlas more enjoyable.

I think most people on this forum recognized that Sunday. And they warmly supported the decision of the Modadmin to move the forum to a new domain. Now, many persons, even some who applauded our decision to defend the forum, have forgotten the basic reason for our action.

It is right for us to have fun. It was right Sunday. It is right today.

The question we have had to face is whether the diversity of Atlas can be recognized without new avatars. Our Modadmin and other users associated with us on the Forum Community board believe that the best chance of recognizing it is to make new avatars to represent a variety of parties and countries, historical and modern.

That is what we have been doing. It is a harmless and entertaining task. And so far it has been successful.

So far, by creating many new avatars, we have prevented disinterest from succeeding, and bringing on a general decline in activity. And the ability of the whole forum to express their eccentricities and interests has been greatly improved.

We do not want to see the conflict in Atlas extended. We are trying to unite the forum—not to divide it. The best way to do that is to make it plain that we and the other users will continue to display our avatar of choice.

But you may ask, why should we take other steps to improve the forum. Why should we create avatars for historical countries? Why should we create avatars for countries where no poster lives?

If we were not to do these things we would be running a very grave risk of taking ourselves too seriously. If that were to happen, we would have brought about the exact situation we are trying to prevent.

If we were to do these things, we would become entangled in a vast system of moderator fascism and our task would become immeasurably more difficult all over the forum.

I believe that we must try to improve the forum for these vital reasons: to make sure that the opportunity to increase avatar diversity is not wasted; to see that the strength of the community is not jeopardized; and to prevent a decline in activity.

A number of events have made it evident that General MacArthur did not agree with that policy. I have therefore considered it essential to ignore General MacArthur so that no-one will suffer from exposure to his lousy opinions.

It was with the deepest personal regret that I found myself compelled to take this action. General MacArthur is one of our greatest moderate heroes. But the cause of forum peace is more important than any individual.

The change in commands in the Biden Bros means no change whatever in the policy of the Atlas Forum. We will carry on the fight on the 2020 board with vigor and determination in an effort to bring the primary to a speedy and successful conclusion.

The struggle of the users in Forum Community is a struggle to make the forum more colorful. The users have united their strength in an effort to prevent monotony.

That monotony can come if the Serious Posters want it to come. But this forum and its users will not be responsible for its coming.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

Maybe OJ tries to take out NY-11's congresswoman?  I think if he did it and ran OJ could certainly have a stab at it.  Problem is if his opponent runs negative ads that drag his party down he would have blood on his hands.  He could become so unpopular that it is basically the People v. Simpson.  Nobody will be overjoyed at him entering the race pr chanting "Go OJ Go".  He doesn't seem like a political type but if the glove fits, wear it.

[Joseph Cao]

Just leaving this here.

The Virgin Q:  Trolls from behind a computer screen. Gets followers to do crazy stuff for him while hides.

The Chad Galileo: Trolls in print using his own name. Being old friends with the Pope doesn't stop him from writing a book where he puts the Catholic Church's position in the mouth of someone whose name roughly translates as "Mr. Stupid".

[GeorgiaModerate]

In "Have you ever solved a Rubik's Cube":

I never even solved a Slinky. 

The commercials showing them traverse down stairs are nothing but lies. 

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

Pretty accurate, I think.

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

I (very pale) was working in the Galápagos and got an awful sunburn on my back. Local children gathered around me, laughing and pointing, calling me "la iguana marina." Horrible.

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

Not sure that he intended this to be funny but:

I like political brawlers. But there is a reason why Italian Americans don't get elected to the presidency, Giuliani, Christie and Cuomo make the Italian American politician stereotype look bad.....

[lfromnj]

Ralph Northam says trying to be less white didn't go over so well for him.

LOL

[Technocracy Timmy]

“Welcome to Pete’s Pizza and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce.”

[GeorgiaModerate]

The whole chain:

It'd take every county in the state getting nuked before I'd move out of Nebraska.

How would you be able to tell the difference?

The mail would presumably stop arriving on time.

Wait, you still get your mail on time?

[S019]

Safe R, nothing to see here.

You mean Likely D, you hack. Think of what will happen in 2022. Iowa is a Trump state, not a Red state. Without Don on the ballot, what chance does Grassley stand? Finkenaur is already writing her victory speech this very second. Mark my words, fool: Come January 2023, there will not be a single statewide elected Republican in the state of Iowa. In fact, forget statewide, the Finkslide will extend to every level, from Governor to Mayor, the electoral bloodbath, along with the double digit swings towards Democrats in Howard County will make it clear: Iowa is a blue state. I can see it now: Generations from now, we will sit at the fireplace, and tell our children and grandchildren of the days when Iowa had Republicans. Maybe, they could win something in Sioux County, but then again, that’s a bit generous to them.

And frankly, a few months from now, it wouldn’t surprise me if the Iowa State GOP disbanded out of pure fear. If you’re  a Republican in Iowa, I pity you, for the next few months and years won’t be kind to you. Just pray Grassley doesn’t retire and leave an open seat.

I don’t expect Republicans to contest the state even. In 2024, after their entire party infrastructure has been demolished, I think their resources would be better placed in Virginia and Colorado. Even if Trump is on the ballot again in 2024, it’ll be too late, the damage will have been done. Maybe he could crack 40%, and even then that’s only if Senator Daines campaigns in Des Moines for him. And even with that, I don’t see him getting more than 48-49%.

But that’s just imo.

[Continential]

I'd rather help women get healthcare

What, are you gonna turn away trans men who want to have abortions?

[VAR]

This should not get lost again.

Warren and sanders are eating each other out

[YPestis25]

contract this contract that, why don't libertarians contract their pieholes

[brucejoel99]

Between watching episodes of Tiger King and episodes of Trump’s daily press “briefings” and trying to find more marijuana to ingest, I quicken to something that cuts through the insanity. Out of the darkness, you, Andrew Cuomo, walk into my life, looking remarkably like the Incredible Hulk. Governor Cuomo, do you know how dehydrated we’ve been? Do you know how thirsty we are to have a real leader, someone who can speak about policy, who can humanize statistics, who can string together a complex sentence that doesn’t contain a single lie—or just string together a complex sentence? Armed with facts, you are giving us the courage to face our fears. Your daily briefings have come at a time when I was beginning to wonder where the good men were and to feel despair that this was just the way the world was now. I’ve never believed all men suck, but all signals kept pointing in the same direction. In 2019 I read an article about a man who masturbated into a plant. I had to put the article down, look up at the sky, and wonder, When did that become a thing? In what era did the first man pull out his penis and jerk off to an indoor plant? Thank you, Andrew Cuomo. Thank you for reminding us that there are men who can lead and be clear and tell the truth—even when the news is bad. Who practice benevolent ruthlessness. (Thanks, Maureen Dowd.) Who speak to Americans with respect. Thank you for being a leader at a time when so many of us were desperately looking for one. Thank you for your different outfits, your tight white polo shirts, your forceful language, and your clear, easy-to-read graphics that are probably meant as a learning manual for Donald Trump. I love your bar graphs and pie charts, Governor. They’ve helped me to understand what this disease is doing and how important it is to self-quarantine. Thanks for reminding us, at a time when old white men are neither cool nor popular, that good men exist and that real politicians do their job by leading. Thank you for talking about the unexpected benefit of spending time with your daughters and for using words like compassion and courage. Thank you for reminding us that the best politicians are, in their hearts, civil servants. Thank you for talking about the value of human life and for reminding us that no one’s mother is expendable. I love you, Andrew Cuomo. Your daughters are lucky to have a dad like you. Thank you for showing us the heart of a New Yorker. But, most of all, thank you for your competence. Source

[lfromnj]

Oh goodie, a military/gender thread. Red and maroon avs will soon be here to say "Akshually, bigot, I'd rather die in a burning tank than be carried to safety by a cis white male." Then CraneHusband will surely make an appearance to remind us all that he hates the military because it's welfare but also loves all other kinds of welfare. Then a blue or yellow av will make some snide remark about women or transgender people or something, and that will kickstart a solid three-page debate with long comment chains that will ultimately end either in YE locking the thread or a golden opportunity for me to post a new meme. This is going to be fun.

[WMS]

Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing

Thread has context.

[Continential]

Now I am not entirely certain about Boris Johnson, but Michael Johnson?  That dude?  Yeah I am absolutely certain about that cat.  He was a real party man.  He could throw them like the best of 'em.  Get all the tables set up, get the chairs set up, and then bringing out the Solo Cups.  Like no joke dude I would come home some nights, the dude lived across the street, and like there would be all these banging hot cheerleader chicks and like half the football team just hanging outside drinking beers and smoking cigarettes.  Michael man, he was real chill about that sort of stuff, he even would sneak in some of the good wicked stuff.  Dude, one time I even saw the Vietnam War.  That's how good it was.

But was was just the most absolute bomb about Michael Johnson was that he would get us all mad amped up, we'd have like a couple of Four Lokos with a Redbull chaser and we would like just get wicked and just run outside for hours and hours in front of the house like gawddang maniacs.  Sometimes we would even rob several Blockbusters before stopping at the local QuikTrip and getting a dozen Chicken Taquitos.  Man I sure do miss the old days when you could at least occasionally make money from the distribution of video.  Man, I sure miss Blockbuster.  It had a nice design and had all the game systems and games and movies you could rent and they had like the concessions at the register and like 30 day movie passes that was mad dope.  I saw so many random movies with that sh**t. .  . . .christ I'm getting nostalgic I'm sorry.

Anyway, Boris Johnson?  What party would he be in?  No idea politically, but I would bet money he'd probably show up at the kind of parties Rob Ford went to, AM I RIGHT LADS?!

[Anzeigenhauptmeister]

Mechalord has come up with another, say, "creative" "anecdote"... 

No clue bro.  What I do know is that the hillbilly folk are a good place to go for a good party.  Now I ain't saying I hung out with racist hillbillies or whatever but I'm just saying when you're at a packed house and the parents are out of town for the weekend and everybody is like on you like "hey bro let's get some drugs" it really helps a poor cracker whose mother is on Section 8 housing and who works 3 different fast food jobs during the school week.  Those folks man, they got everything.  Whizz balls.  Whizz bangs.  Shammy Shangs.  Billy Bangs.  And maybe even some Shilly Wangs.  I remember this one time in high school me and my boy Ray we were hanging out with these stacked bros and our friend Ryan Hammond from Glenpool showed up with like this bag of pills.  It was good sh**t man we cut em up and started getting out dollar bills and-

oh sorry this is about the redneck woman's voting history.  I'm not really sure to be honest.  Last night when we were hanging out at her place watching her kid before her ex came home to pick him up she mentioned something about Muslamic Ray Beams and that there is an international child sex ring going on or something.  She also said that the vaccines had microchips in them.. . or somethin.  Honestly I can't remember what she said about the vaccines she just said somethin that sounded like somethin nacker.  I honestly can't remember much of what happened that night because I took a drink of some of their "swamp juice" and I woke up a week later buck naked in the woods with "Velma's Property" tattooed on my left buttcheck and having the worst hemorrhoids on earth.

I really don't want to dwell on this, so I'll get back to the redneck woman's voting history.  Well looking at the surroundings and the fact that she's dating her cousin (great guy by the way, just ask him about what's the best bait and tackle to use on Arkansas bass) I would guesstimate that she tends to be more of the believe in conspiracy theory types because well let's face it folks the gubmint is everywhere watching you.  The gubmint is everywhere and it's taking your money and sh**t like that while running presidential campaigns that cost more than most blockbuster movies and consist largely of highly polished camera angle debate shots and jangy political ads that target the pavlovian tendencies of people.  Like bro did you know, like didn't you hear that like right now somebody is making some scammy political deals to enrichen their pockets and their richie rich friends in Martha's Vineyard or Bel Aire or Where the Hell Ever?  And they go right for the emotional jugular, the Plenti-Paint of American politics: the culture values.

Man, sorry about that I keep getting sidetracked.  I think that's enough analysis for now.  It is obvious that the redneck woman and Jethro Tull are probably the sort of people who would enjoy a nice doobie at a King Crimson concert.  Oh man, those classics!  I remember the first time I listened to Tales from Topographic Oceans all of the people at my high school thought I was this huge pretentious prick who was way into 30 minute songs but man I'm telling you it's quite incredible they got modern electrical instruments to play songs composed like the classics!  And man just the sounds man the sounds are the mood they almost tell the story in themselves, who needs the lyrics?!

As for the redneck woman's voting history?  Hell if I know man, we only hung out one time and that was to Netflix and Chill.

[Ancestral Republican]

Mechalord has come up with another, say, "creative" "anecdote"... 

No clue bro.  What I do know is that the hillbilly folk are a good place to go for a good party.  Now I ain't saying I hung out with racist hillbillies or whatever but I'm just saying when you're at a packed house and the parents are out of town for the weekend and everybody is like on you like "hey bro let's get some drugs" it really helps a poor cracker whose mother is on Section 8 housing and who works 3 different fast food jobs during the school week.  Those folks man, they got everything.  Whizz balls.  Whizz bangs.  Shammy Shangs.  Billy Bangs.  And maybe even some Shilly Wangs.  I remember this one time in high school me and my boy Ray we were hanging out with these stacked bros and our friend Ryan Hammond from Glenpool showed up with like this bag of pills.  It was good sh**t man we cut em up and started getting out dollar bills and-

oh sorry this is about the redneck woman's voting history.  I'm not really sure to be honest.  Last night when we were hanging out at her place watching her kid before her ex came home to pick him up she mentioned something about Muslamic Ray Beams and that there is an international child sex ring going on or something.  She also said that the vaccines had microchips in them.. . or somethin.  Honestly I can't remember what she said about the vaccines she just said somethin that sounded like somethin nacker.  I honestly can't remember much of what happened that night because I took a drink of some of their "swamp juice" and I woke up a week later buck naked in the woods with "Velma's Property" tattooed on my left buttcheck and having the worst hemorrhoids on earth.

I really don't want to dwell on this, so I'll get back to the redneck woman's voting history.  Well looking at the surroundings and the fact that she's dating her cousin (great guy by the way, just ask him about what's the best bait and tackle to use on Arkansas bass) I would guesstimate that she tends to be more of the believe in conspiracy theory types because well let's face it folks the gubmint is everywhere watching you.  The gubmint is everywhere and it's taking your money and sh**t like that while running presidential campaigns that cost more than most blockbuster movies and consist largely of highly polished camera angle debate shots and jangy political ads that target the pavlovian tendencies of people.  Like bro did you know, like didn't you hear that like right now somebody is making some scammy political deals to enrichen their pockets and their richie rich friends in Martha's Vineyard or Bel Aire or Where the Hell Ever?  And they go right for the emotional jugular, the Plenti-Paint of American politics: the culture values.

Man, sorry about that I keep getting sidetracked.  I think that's enough analysis for now.  It is obvious that the redneck woman and Jethro Tull are probably the sort of people who would enjoy a nice doobie at a King Crimson concert.  Oh man, those classics!  I remember the first time I listened to Tales from Topographic Oceans all of the people at my high school thought I was this huge pretentious prick who was way into 30 minute songs but man I'm telling you it's quite incredible they got modern electrical instruments to play songs composed like the classics!  And man just the sounds man the sounds are the mood they almost tell the story in themselves, who needs the lyrics?!

As for the redneck woman's voting history?  Hell if I know man, we only hung out one time and that was to Netflix and Chill.

This dude's comments are highly underrated.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

Mechaman is back

[This user has not been convicted of 34 felonies]

Mechaman is back

Literally made my day when I saw that

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Mechaman is back

The Return of the King!

[Technocracy Timmy]

I have relatives in Argentina, so probably there.