Comedy Goldmine 3: The Mineshaft--SHAFT!

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Ah, gotcha.  Communication breakdown, mayte. 

What's with the pirate talk?

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Along with that I also support gay people being allowed to serve opening in the military unless they cause problems. And by problems I mean that if they start flirting and causing trouble, just like straight people they should be removed.

ooh ooh misrter jedi u look pretty in that dress

wanna fool around on top the ferris wheel?

[Hash]

yay Polnut!!! I don't much about u but I voted for you!

[minionofmidas]

I like flesh

Yes. We know.

[Sensei]

Harry - "Another brewski!"

Inks - "I can better repesent the Thirteenth Congressional District of Pennsylvania."

Phil - Presidential, in a Dukakuseque way.

Nixon Now - "I'm smiling because I just made parole."

Naso - "It is the dawn of a new day in America."

Andrew -  To dark, was this from a survalliance camera.

Supersoulty - "The shipment is in from Jamaica."

Htmldon - "I, Htmldon, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will... . " (Clear winner.)

Preston Caldwell - "After we go to the Bee Gees Concert, let's go to the roller disco."

[© tweed]

What I wonder...is why the hell would the SCHOOL allow 18 year old kids to go to frickin' Aruba on a final class trip...and drink and mess around...to me that's not good school conduct and the teachers screwed up.

As for this Moron Vandersh*t, what the hell would a nice high school girl like Natalie see in this ugly lowlife nobody? I see all the time the way things are...my dad has been a cop for 29 years...and he tells me the crap these young girls do. They date these low life dirtbag scum losers and end up getting in trouble...and even dead because of it.

Many times...the PARENTS of the teenager in trouble get MAD AT THE COPS! Probably because many of the parents are also scumsucking lowlifes.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

We need a Naso Goldmine.

[minionofmidas]

...if only to get nonfunny bull like that out of the Comedy Goldmine.

[YRABNNRM]

We need a Naso Goldmine.

NASOWATCH?

[Hash]

Key:
Slanted States mean that the candidate won the popular vote in these states, but no delagates will be awarded.

Slanted??!!??

[Хahar 🤔]

Key:
Slanted States mean that the candidate won the popular vote in these states, but no delagates will be awarded.

Slanted??!!??

Italicized.

[Hash]

Key:
Slanted States mean that the candidate won the popular vote in these states, but no delagates will be awarded.

Slanted??!!??

Italicized.

I knew that, I just found it hilarious he doesn't use the word "italicized" like most of us.

[Хahar 🤔]

Key:
Slanted States mean that the candidate won the popular vote in these states, but no delagates will be awarded.

Slanted??!!??

Italicized.

I knew that, I just found it hilarious he doesn't use the word "italicized" like most of us.

I thought you'd have gotten over his...um...peculiarities by now.

[Јas]

mypalmonkey?

Needs the context of the thread to make sense.

[Platypus]

I also will be getting much needed like skills as I do not know how to cook save for mac and cheese, ramen noodles, and eggs and bacon.  So, to compensate, I've been going out to fast food joints like McDonalds, Burger King, Wendy's, Sonic, etc. nearly every day, sometimes twice a day.  That has not allowed me to lose weight, naturally, but by moving in with them I will have more nutritious home cooked meals and go out to eat less, so my waist line should begin to shrink some.

buy a general cook book, unless you're into cooking in a pan or making sauces, cooking isn't that hard.

I fixed chicken soup last night, it is very easy and good for you.

How on earth does soup break?

Poor form, I know, but you all seemed like you needed a second ladle of the good stuff.

[Alcon]

Hawai'i caucus:

Damn, that's a long caucus! They've been in there since 1/25... is anyone getting them food/water? Are any of them still alive?

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Man, you guys are really true believers (...) in the American public (...).

That's a pretty harsh way of telling someone he's deranged.

[Platypus]

Other reason for a punishment from "God"?

God did kill them, but out of mercy, not punishment, to spare them from reading this thread.

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

I know that Romney probably won't drop out for awhile.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Dean probably couldn't force his secretary to bring him coffee without bribing her first.

[Keystone Phil]

McCain taps Molnau

Now there's a mental image I did not want.

[Alcon]

So Hilary now has both Jenna Jameson and Paris Hilton endorsing her? Talk about coalitions of the willing.

[MODU]

But right at the end of the 70's, about 1978 to about 1983...things were really good.

If only I had been given the privilege to have lived in America's Golden Age: the late 1970s.

hahaha . . . the only thing I enjoyed about the end of the 70s was that I was living in a tiny logging/clamming town that happened to have a military base.  We were separated from the rest of the crap at the time.

[opebo]

But right at the end of the 70's, about 1978 to about 1983...things were really good.

If only I had been given the privilege to have lived in America's Golden Age: the late 1970s.

hahaha . . . the only thing I enjoyed about the end of the 70s was that I was living in a tiny logging/clamming town that happened to have a military base.  We were separated from the rest of the crap at the time.

What crap?  You feared someone might have sex with you?

[MODU]

But right at the end of the 70's, about 1978 to about 1983...things were really good.

If only I had been given the privilege to have lived in America's Golden Age: the late 1970s.

hahaha . . . the only thing I enjoyed about the end of the 70s was that I was living in a tiny logging/clamming town that happened to have a military base.  We were separated from the rest of the crap at the time.

What crap?  You feared someone might have sex with you?

Now where the hell did that come from?  Oh wait, it's Opie, I forgot.