Comedy Goldmine XI: The Atlas Forum Demilitarized Zone

[Bacon King]

Oh look, just give the kid the presidency.  Heaven knows he's persistent.  Maybe then he'll keep quiet.


No, wait.  That kind of thinking is how we got John Quincy Adams.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

When I first saw the title of the thread, I read "live" as a verb, not a noun, and was left thinking "I don't want to live in Portland, and I don't want GPorter as my flatmate..."

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Add me to the wiki. I wish to relive my epic last minute Senate race against Smid.

It is the thing epic ballads are made of - the gargantuan struggle of two write-in candidates, neither of whom formally declared prior to the close of nominations. In years to come, classics majors will need to read The Iliad, The Odyssey, Beowulf and The Northeast Senate race of February 2009.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Ok, this has officially descended into utter stupidity. 

Your kindness and civility are, as always, appreicated. 

[Sensei]

That, and she doesn't like English names because they have no real meaning.

How stupid/ignorant is your mother?

[Lunar]

But had time still to Tweet this:

"Work on farm Fri. Burning piles of brush WindyFire got out of control. Thank God for good naber He help get undr control PantsBurnLegWound."

Hey. No time to make fun, Lunar.

My dad died of a PantsBurnLegWound.

[Sensei]

What is your opinion of the Middle East Peace Act?

I know i am not GPORTER but i think that act is a good start. I think that the act favors one side over the other. But that is me and i am sure GPORTER wants everyone to be treated fairly.

What do you mean by that? How do you think the MEPA favors one side, and which side does it favor?

Also, are you saying that your foreign policy is going to be based on fairness, not on the circumstances?

Though I believe that these questions are directed towards my running mate because she was the one who responded to the questions, I will answer the one on fairness vs. circumstances.

All of my foreign policy actions will be made based on circumstances. And if they will be fair, then they will be fair. But, if they are not fair, then they will not be fair. I will make the best decision that I possibly can as President. And it will not come to my mind if it is fair or not.

I' afraid that doesn' make much sense.

Are you saying that fairness isn' worth anything?

Lets see if this is a little more clear...

fairness will be a factor, but it will not be my first factor in making foreign policy decisions.

What will be your first factor?

the situation.

[Lunar]

For lasting competent™ leadership please re-elect President Barack Obama in 2012

and visit:

www.barackobama.com

Thank You Very Much !

Honorary mention: www.navy.mil

[Tender Branson]

2041-2149 (DEM) Barack Obama / P. Kennedy

[Bacon King]

Holy sh**t guys I just went to a 'strip club'.  Some things should either be done right or not at all.

[Bacon King]

Opebo is alright. At least he's not a rich Jewish kid from the suburbs pretending to be a Southern Populist.

Ouch. Did Stark actually just own Constine?

[Hash]

This is neat.  Would you do Oklahoma City and Tulsa, please?

Context needed.

[Lunar]

I was proud of that one, I was

[Smid]

I was proud of that one, I was

You ought to be proud of your signature, too... it just cracked me up... too bad I can't enter it into the goldmine.

[dead0man]

This is neat.  Would you do Oklahoma City and Tulsa, please?

Context needed.

Yeah, that needs to be a post of the year nominee.  Probably shouldn't win, but it certainly needs it's recongnition.

[Sensei]

I define "white" as caucasian.  I do not consider Arabs, Jews, Persians, or my Lebanese wife to be "white", otherwise I wouldn't have married her.

hehe...

Your wife is Lebanese?!  Why would you have married her in the first place if she isn't even into guys in the first place?

dude, after our wedding night, she forgot all about her Lebanese past.

[Platypus]

Damn activist legislators legislating from the legislature.

double bang

[Marokai Backbeat]

If I go outside and kiss a guy, does that not by definition make me a homosexual? But then the next week I kiss a woman, and now I am a heterosexual!

[Keystone Phil]

I define "white" as caucasian.  I do not consider Arabs, Jews, Persians, or my Lebanese wife to be "white", otherwise I wouldn't have married her.

hehe...

Your wife is Lebanese?!  Why would you have married her in the first place if she isn't even into guys in the first place?

dude, after our wedding night, she forgot all about her Lebanese past.

LOL

Why do people do that? My freshman year theology teacher (a priest) did the same and I remember actually correcting him. I think he continued to do it for laughs though.

[CARLHAYDEN]

 
 




 
 




 
 
 
   
 
 

 
 
Lunar
 
  Re: Obama's GUN CONTROL revealed? HR 45
« Reply #85 on: April 08, 2009, 11:26:12 am »   

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm some person on the internet, my assurances count for crap

I'm the person who said he would eat his hat if Palin got picked as the VP nominee.  I never actually ate my hat though so I'm a liar as well.    
 

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

The pirates didn't kill anyone, so the killing of them was clearly excessive force. Plus, it would seem that the adminstration has done nothing about the domestic piracy problem, which has stolen much more money from Americans that these pirates ever did.

[Joe Republic]

 
 




 
 




 
 
 
   
 
 

 
 
Lunar
 
  Re: Obama's GUN CONTROL revealed? HR 45
« Reply #85 on: April 08, 2009, 11:26:12 am »   

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm some person on the internet, my assurances count for crap

I'm the person who said he would eat his hat if Palin got picked as the VP nominee.  I never actually ate my hat though so I'm a liar as well.    
 

Not too skilled with the internets, are we?

[tik 🪀✨]

to me, a more accurate analogy (though no analogy is going to fully work) would be to have an infinite and invisible tub of ice cream (it can be any flavor you want, though it must be a uniform flavor, not a mixture). 

Take a FINITE scoop of that icecream from the infinite and invisible tub and place it on a counter top so that you can better wrap your finite mind around it. You can discern the presence of the scoop ice cream spiritually, you can discern the location of the scoop (it's sitting on the countertop), and communicate with it, but you can't physcially see it.  You can consume the invisible ice cream so that it is inside of you and have a continuing relationship with it. - That's the Holy Spirit of God - God manifested spiritually.

Take ANOTHER FINITE scoop of that icecream from the infinite and invisible tub and place it in a bowl so that you can better wrap your finite mind around it. This bowl you are allowed to touch and handle, though the icecream is still invisible.  - That's Jesus Christ, God manifesting his spirit in the flesh (blow).

Jesus Christ, that FINITE scoop of icecream placed in a bowl, packaged so that it can be handled, is the EXACT representation of the uniform icecream in the infinite and invisible tub of icecream.

The Trinity is much more appealing when you think about it in the simple context of an infinite and invisible tub of ice cream.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

jmfcst is yet another poster who has acheived self-parody status. Though of course he did long ago.

[tik 🪀✨]

I encourage people to view other posts in the thread where he lambastes JSoujourner for the original analogy with ice cream where he (JS) described the Trinity as being like Neopolitan ice cream.