Comedy Goldmine 3: The Mineshaft--SHAFT!

[Хahar 🤔]

There probably needs to be a woman on the ticket so they can match the Democrats (if Hillary gets to be their candidate). McCain should pick someone like Sandra Day O'Conners or even Oprah (if her boy Obama loses, she may be really mad).

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

More hilarity in a PM from Stark (titled Suburb Hating Scum):

you pretty rich white boy thinks you so much better than us middle class suburbanites you wanna go live in teh fricken Gheto be my gues. get your sory rich white ass out of here and leave the suburbs alone. the suburbs are the foundation of the American Class. you and you liberal and neo-con NWO scum want to destroy us the middle class. your NWO will be defeated.

[Eraserhead]

More hilarity in a PM from Stark (titled Suburb Hating Scum):

you pretty rich white boy thinks you so much better than us middle class suburbanites you wanna go live in teh fricken Gheto be my gues. get your sory rich white ass out of here and leave the suburbs alone. the suburbs are the foundation of the American Class. you and you liberal and neo-con NWO scum want to destroy us the middle class. your NWO will be defeated.

...and people thought I was making this up. This kid won't stop PMing me!

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I find it hilarious he called me rich and himself middle class when he's from some posh Bay Area suburb that probably has a median income of six figures and I'm from extreme desolation in North Dakota.

[Bono]

you mean Mike Naso was really Keystone Phil all along?

omg holy sh**t

[© tweed]

The Republican convention becomes deadlocked, and the party brings in Jeb to save the day.  With the conservative base locked up, Jeb picks Republican maverick Chuck Hagel in order to achieve a broader appeal to independents and swing voters.   

Jeb Bush/Chuck Hagel                310
John Edwards/Russ Feingold      228

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Another gem from the guy who believed Pawlenty is so beloved in Minnesota he can swing the state to Brownback.

[Platypus]

furiously masturbating

[opebo]

What exactly are you suing for? I am not aware that you have been denied any rights at this time. All I have done is stated in the public domain that it is the belief of the moderators that you are in fact Keystone Phil and that we have evidence to support this. Whether the Atlasian authorities choose to act on this is up to them - I have been asked to communicate with the Attorney General, which I will endeavour to do soon. If the AG takes action in the form of a court case then I will respond to any requests of the court.

You're responding to Hashemite, not Phil. I think the thread heading is wrong and should be Republic of Atlasia vs. P. Inammorato, though.

You spelled the last name wrong, you Hansel and Gretel S.O.B.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

On Musgrove passing on a MS Senate race:

I blame Mr. Moderate.  I bet Ronnie Musgrove read his posts and lost heart.

[Јas]

Freedom is overrated.

Thank you for you comment.

Now its on the record, and cann't be erased by you.

Here are some more, if you'd like:

I'm married to Osama bin Laden.

I support Saddam Hussein because his mustache is pimping.

I support dictatorships because democracy is for fags.

I thought 9/11 was kick ass.

I hate humanity and want it to die in nuclear fire.

We have this antrax.  Are you scared?  Death to America.  Death to Israel.  Allah is great.

[Хahar 🤔]

RUDY SURGE! 11%!

[Gabu]

It was a great victory tonight for my candidate

Not Hillary 70%
Hillary 30%

Pleasant surprise.

[Ebowed]

For those who have written off or underestimated former Tennessee Senator Fred Thompson, consider this:

He is getting very serious and aggressive.  In fact, he just opened three fully-staffed campaign offices in Iowa.

[Michael Z]

Kucinch and Gravel are vanity candidates.

No, Mike Gravel is pure genius out to show the world that he is awesome.

[Gabu]

Kucinch and Gravel are vanity candidates.

No, Mike Gravel is pure genius out to show the world that he is awesome.

Hey, what's so funny about that?  It's 100% true.

[minionofmidas]

Kucinch and Gravel are vanity candidates.

No, Mike Gravel is pure genius out to show the world that he is awesome.

Hey, what's so funny about that?  It's 100% true.

Only 100 per cent? Your lack of enthusiasm disgusts me.

[Gabu]

As Stephen Colbert put it: "Beans, beans, the magical fruit, the more you eat, the more 9/11."

[Joe Republic]

Obama/Bredesen v. McCain/Barbour:

because of Barbour

[Joe Republic]

This post isn't funny in a "lol he supports romney" way (he could have been talking about anybody and it wouldn't matter), but simply for the way it is written:

Yes, Mitt Romney.

He stands head and shoulders above anyone else seeking the Presidency in terms of his abilities to do the job.

The people of this nation should be thankful that Romney is offering himself as a candidate, and the only candidate, who can truly lead this nation out of the abyss and into a bright, new tomorrow, a tomorrow full of hope, a tomorrow full of optimism, a tomorrow free from fear, and a tomorrow where all, regardless of their societal situatioin, can look forward to a future with unbounded opportunities and a future where peace, prosperity, and opportunities beckon.

Romney's time is now, America's time is now, the future awaits.

[Verily]

Definitely not hot, and only accessible by boat or plane.

Click for context.

[KEmperor]

Do you believe that Keystone Phil should be prosecuted for attempting to enter a second registration whilst controlling the account of Mike Naso?

I believe that justice should be served and that Keystone Phil should be executed.

When Ronald Reagan was goverenor of California, he went through somewhat this same type of happening. Reagan decided that justice should be served and the man was executed.

I believe that I would do the same thing that Reagan did and would let justice be served. This means that Keystone Phil should be executed. However, it is  not my choice but that of the justices of the Atlasian supreme court, not me. This is only my opinion. Thank you.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

yes.  hillary.

So in other words, you're supporting the one Republican who has a chance at winning?

[Eraserhead]

I had to post this Stark PM.

The title was "about dave":

I think he is working for the Rocthilds. please look into it. what do you think about Miley Cyrus?

[Robespierre's Jaw]

As running as an independent, which is unlikely but something that I included in this scenario, is that Dodd would want a running mate with experience as an independent, and that is Gravel.

Why would Dodd, a man who has served in Congress for 30 years, pick someone who served in Congress for 12 years 30 years ago for experience?  I smell a hack.

Frankly if you are smelling a hack, then you are smelling yourself.

I doubt it, since I'm smelling an Iris, not an American Dogwood