The Kalwejt Foundation for the Promotion of Atlas Hilarity

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

Anyone remember this?

Dear President Obama,

How's it hangin'? Why are you such a statesman and a dick? I was kidding, but seriously, you need to chill. You're controlled by that bitch wife, and her secret lover, Jimmy McMillan. Speaking of bitches, where did Hillary bury the bodies found in Bill's yard? Regarding Libya, I wish to express my disappointment that John Cameron Swayze isn't able to meet with Colonel Gadddafffii Quaddiff Gaddafi.

Tell me why women hate me.

These threads always fail because old Welsh men and Polish punks have lousy grammar. So, Mr. President, grammar my ass.

End of letter.

PS. There's also nothing. Good-bye. And Grumpy Gramps won't share his Virginia with the old house smasher, but he will ask you to have a martini.

Sorry for this, but please veto Senate Bill 978. Or at least learn to capitalize! When you ejaculated thinking of Hillary, removed by Inks, Bill Clinton said, "It's over 9,000!" One more thing...

Sarah Palin wants to destroy America from her house, with her kids, who'll be used in a musical about her life. We shouldn't care if Joe Biden thinks this is a big f'ing deal because it's just a musical. Musicals are for learning to capitalize! Or they're for raping hairy goats that also like big, hairy, yellow women.

I apologize for the fact that I hate you.

Is Michele Bachmann sleeping with Mitt or is she secretly seeing your giant, girthy black fist punching the face of John Edwards? Be careful, stay away from the hotel room where Bubba slept, as the odor smells like a putana-coated cigar.

Well then, I will conclude by saying that you suck.

                    Respectfully yours,
                   Kyle Christopher Mercado

[GM Team Member and Senator WB]

If Bacon seriously loses to an open and proud socialist by admission, he really needs to find a new career field that has nothing to do with politics.

I'm sorry, what?

Kara Eastman is not a socialist. Find me one shred of evidence she's ever claimed to be a socialist or has ever supported socialist policies.

She openly supports single-payer.

til margaret thatcher was an open and proud socialist

Since the NHS is more extreme than just single payer, she had every rich person in Britain executed for treason against the working class.

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

I don't see what's wrong, Serena Williams is a horrible person.

Let me explain this in simple words:

Serena Williams = black woman
This caricature = blatantly racist in the worst ways
Her personality = irrelevant to that matter

K? Or would you think it's legitimate to depict a Jew as a white-nosed lizard if he's a bad person, or to depict a Muslim as a terrorist if he's just a bad person?

Yeah Bagel didn’t you know that black women women of color are capable of never, ever doing anything wrong ever?

Police, I'm here to report the murder of a man made of straw.

[Politician]

Considering I've been Benghazi'd by the Atlas Thought Police since my first month here, it's a miracle I'm still standing.

[IceSpear]

It seems crazy to me that Beto is only 2 years younger than Cruz.

Ted Cruz gives the illusion of a spectral figure who has silently presided over every conflict since the start of humanity and urged for the most destructive response. He floats from century to century, his plastered smile and grating voice at the corner of every room. And though he is in everyone's peripheral vision, when they turn their heads in his direction, he is gone, and only his creepy aura remains.

[IceSpear]

Obama made a cameo on Thomas the Tank Engine?

[Ban my account ffs!]

It seems crazy to me that Beto is only 2 years younger than Cruz.

Ted Cruz gives the illusion of a spectral figure who has silently presided over every conflict since the start of humanity and urged for the most destructive response. He floats from century to century, his plastered smile and grating voice at the corner of every room. And though he is in everyone's peripheral vision, when they turn their heads in his direction, he is gone, and only his creepy aura remains.

This is by far the best description of the heeby jeeby feelings I get when I see him, that I have seen so far.  There's something dark and unholy about that man.

[Landslide Lyndon]

Literally everything Republicans say about liberals or Democrats.. is projection.  An angry accusation to the "enemy" of a personal characteristic about themselves that they hate.

That's true of the other side too.

For example?

Democrats claiming Republicans are anti science when there are more Democrats than Republicans who are anti-GMO

Republicans are denying climate change, evolution, vaccination, and believe that abortion causes breast cancer.
But a handful of Democrats are anti-GMO, so they are exactly the same.

Both Sides Do It™

Both Sides....Just Do It.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

I knew this guy was shady, but my goodness I didn't expect this. Revelations can be quite surprising sometimes.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

He reminds me a lot of one user whose screenname was Da-Jon.  His writing style and predictions are eerily similar to his.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

I just looked up what lox is.

WHO THE F[INKS] EATS THAT ON A BAGEL?

[Ban my account ffs!]

I just looked up what lox is.

WHO THE F[INKS] EATS THAT ON A BAGEL?

I once ate a cinnamon-raisin bagel with butter and marmite on it... because f*** you.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

I just looked up what lox is.

WHO THE F[INKS] EATS THAT ON A BAGEL?

I once ate a cinnamon-raisin bagel with butter and marmite on it... because f*** you.

If for some reason I was forced to eat marmite on a bagel I think cinnamon-raisin is a good choice.

[IceSpear]

Edwards lack of enthusiasm sunk the ticket as a whole, after the Swift Boating.  Gephardt would have worked harder for Kerry during that period to reassure Soccar Moms he was a pragmatic candidate.

"Soccar Moms"

[Santander]

This is a legitimate complaint, but it's presented in a bullsh**t way because people are stupid. Not everyone has giant Shrek hands, some of us are stuck with puny Trump hands.

Rename the thread.

[IceSpear]

Atlas Democrats:

"Trump is obviously a vile human being, why do still people vote Republican?"

Atlas Democrats, after a wealthy Republican says he will stop voting Republican because Trump is a vile human being:

"I don't want your support, neoliberal scum!"

The left's outright hatred of rich people is so odd to me. Especially since many of them came from well off families.

Atlas socialists often come from middle class white suburban backgrounds and in their teen/20’s angst must rebel against it and everything it’s about. So instead their admiration is glued towards rural white voters who they avoid in real life and make weird caricatures about them being socialists with a social conservative bent. It’s similar to how white weeaboos worship Japan while knowing nothing about actual Japan.

What did I say that was anti-semetic? I implied Jewish people are pre-dominantly democrats. They are.

Why is that such a trigger? It's no different than saying, "Non college white votes for Trump - news @ 11".

You guys REALLY get triggered by generalizations, don't you?

It's obviously going to be looked at differently when you have a history of anti-semitism. Right along the lines of, "uh, what does that have to do with anything?"

Interesting that you are completely oblivious to this, though.

It has everything to do with it. I'm sorry if I'm a god damn realist. You guys aren't. That's why Donald Trump is the President of the United States. This whole division in the country has to do with  one thing only: political correctness. PERIOD. You wanna know why those NFL players kneel? Because most of them are freaking criminals and thugs. Black or white, rich or poor, it doesn't matter. Most cops are probably guys like me, skinny white guys who don't know or care one thing about football, and take these guys who beat up their girlfriends, and constantly use drugs and say "I don't care what team you play some ball game for, you're under arrest." Of course they don't like that, so then they "kneel" to protest "police brutality". 

I can sugarcoat s*it, or be realistic. I prefer to be honest and realistic. You keep trying to get me in some "gotcha" situation. Like, "GOTCHA! Reaganfan said Jews vote predominately Democrat!" Yeah? They do? So what?

I mean, you have foreign communists on this message board, and you act like I'm the biggest villain of all. You guys are crazy. You're the weirdos. You're the people who weren't taken seriously 100 years ago, aren't taken seriously today, and won't be taken seriously 100 years from now.

[GeorgiaModerate]

If I wasn't already a lush you guys would drive me to drink.

[IceSpear]

Obama won the state anyways, and FL can elect another blackman.

[IceSpear]

Posts deleted for "Excessive Hyperbole". I'm turning 30 years old next month and I had to freaking google what the hell "hyperbole" was.

[Landslide Lyndon]

Posts deleted for "Excessive Hyperbole". I'm turning 30 years old next month and I had to freaking google what the hell "hyperbole" was.

That's actually sad. Nobody should be that ignorant in the age of internet.

[IceSpear]

Posts deleted for "Excessive Hyperbole". I'm turning 30 years old next month and I had to freaking google what the hell "hyperbole" was.

That's actually sad. Nobody should be that ignorant in the age of internet.

Well, as Reaganfan would (correctly) say, we also have "millions and millions of Americans" who would believe a Trump tweet that is a blatant lie over the facts they can take 30 seconds to research on Google.

[Technocracy Timmy]

My name is Democrat Dave, and I am using a non-judgemental open mind and consensual and so-operative framework to understand Republican viewpoints and hoping to change their misogynistic and racist bigotry. They are soul-less troglodytes, and I will make it my death wish to burn each and every one of them in the flames of Hades.

[Badger]

Posts deleted for "Excessive Hyperbole". I'm turning 30 years old next month and I had to freaking google what the hell "hyperbole" was.

That's actually sad. Nobody should be that ignorant in the age of internet.

It's Reagan fan being an ever-flowing source of unintentional hilarity.

[Technocracy Timmy]

Context: Unbanning Krazen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-K7fCQlUhj0

[Sestak]

Seven seconds.