Re: An update on the life of your in-house Reverend :) 2

[Joe Biden 2020]

Well, folks, I've got some bad news to report.  The wedding is cancelled and the engagement is off.  She was getting very frustrated and I just found out from my parents that she came over to their house last night and gave the ring back to them and called it off and rattled off a bunch of bolognae.  It's just as well as she has a LOT of growing up to do before she's ready for a husband.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Hey, there is a bit of good news to come out of this!  I can now watch football in comfort, follow the 2010 mid-term elections while keeping my own Democratic views in tact, and most importantly - FOCUS ON CHRISTMAS!!

Speaking of Christmas, this past Monday, August 2, I did put my first Christmas CD into the car's CD player.

Let me expand on the three points I just made.

She HATES football and we would have probably fought over the TV.

She is a staunch-conservative Republican and while she said she didn't care about my Democratic views, I think she was just telling me what I wanted to hear.

She loves Christmas herself, but I can focus on that myself!!

[Joe Biden 2020]

Don't get me wrong, it's tough hearing the news, especially through my MOTHER.  I'm just going to buck up and move on.  I'm not going to actively start looking again until at least the first of the year, although if one comes along before then, I'm going to try not to be blind.  I just feel I need a little time here to recuperate and recover.

It is tough to hear the news, especially since this is the THIRD woman to fall through.  My dad told me tonight that even Tiffanye, with her lack of personality, would have been better than this girl.  Susan was just as sweet as she could be, but she would be VERY expensive.  I would probably have to buy my own insurance just for her or end up paying $5,000 a month just for her medical expenses.  Plus, I was beginning to fear that if we had gotten married that she would have been gone, running back to mama, at the first fight.  So, this is not all bad news.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Wait, first you gloat and talk her up, she breaks up with you and now all you do is trash talk her? You don't plan on stalking her, do you?

I'm not upset so much that she broke up with me, but HOW she broke up with me.  This after she was mad at her ex-boyfriend for having his mother call and break up with her for him.  To me this spells one word - HYPOCRITE!!

No, I'm not going to stalk her.  I may not answer her phone calls should she ever call me, but I'm not going to stalk her.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Why would she go through your mother? It seems kind of strange and surreal to me.

Because she "respects" them, and it was a "courtesy" visit.  Yeah, but you didn't even tell me.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I'm surprised that Susan didn't pass a note in study hall breaking up with you.  What were her reasons anyway?

A long list of problems that my mother later called "bolognae".  For one, she is jealous that I have other friends besides her.  Two, she needs a "break" and said April 9 might still happen if SHE so chose.  She really acted in a very childish and immature way.  She also had to have her mom help her tell my mom.  I can tell you one thing, April 9 will not happen as long as we BOTH have a choice.  There are more "items" they brought up that I won't mention here.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I'm surprised that Susan didn't pass a note in study hall breaking up with you.  What were her reasons anyway?

A long list of problems that my mother later called "bolognae".  For one, she is jealous that I have other friends besides her.  Two, she needs a "break" and said April 9 might still happen if SHE so chose.  She really acted in a very childish and immature way.  She also had to have her mom help her tell my mom.  I can tell you one thing, April 9 will not happen as long as we BOTH have a choice.  There are more "items" they brought up that I won't mention here.

Are you going to address the fact that you originally said that she'd never had a boyfriend before, and now you say she did?

Yeah, she pretty much fibbed to me on that one.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Actually, my mother and dad may buy one of the tickets and purchase another ticket similar and we'll all three go.  We haven't been on a vacation together in years.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Ready for another bomb shell?

We may not be completely done just yet!!  I finally talked to her a few minutes ago and she said her main reasoning for giving the ring back was things were moving a little too fast for her and that she needed a break, both of which I understood.  We talked for a few minutes and agreed to take a break until about Labor Day and see how things stand.  If we get back together, we may still keep April 9, 2011 intact.  If we don't get back together, then so be it.  We'll still talk to each other on the phone throughout the next month, but we probably won't see each other very much.  Marriage counseling was supposed to begin this coming Wednesday, August 11, but we'll obviously move that back.  So, hold the phone everyone.  This soap opera episode is not over, yet!! It has just hit it's first commercial break.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Ready for another bomb shell?

We may not be completely done just yet!!  I finally talked to her a few minutes ago and she said her main reasoning for giving the ring back was things were moving a little too fast for her and that she needed a break, both of which I understood.  We talked for a few minutes and agreed to take a break until about Labor Day and see how things stand.  If we get back together, we may still keep April 9, 2011 intact.  If we don't get back together, then so be it.  We'll still talk to each other on the phone throughout the next month, but we probably won't see each other very much.  Marriage counseling was supposed to begin this coming Wednesday, August 11, but we'll obviously move that back.  So, hold the phone everyone.  This soap opera episode is not over, yet!! It has just hit it's first commercial break.

ok now you are just trolling. i dont buy this anymore.

Ah, you should though, because it's real!  If you have me on facebook, the stories generally line up between facebook and atlas!

[Joe Biden 2020]

What happened to the part about her being too immature to get married and you being happy that it was over?

(And are you really stupid enough to fall for this again?)

I was doing a lot of soul searching this afternoon and realized she's not as bad as I made her out to be.  I was just upset at the time and spoke out of frustration.  She is still a wonderful person and I do hope we can lead a long, happy life together.

To answer your second question - yes!!

[Joe Biden 2020]

BushOK,

The real question here that you need to ask yourself is do you really love her? She may be a wonderful person, but do you love her? Truly love her? If you don't love her, don't bother marrying her. Because if you do, it will only lead to more heartbreak.

Yes, yes I do love her.  The only thing I'm worried about is the expenses associated.  She can't have children and thus we would be either adopting or going through a surrogate mother, either of which would be very expensive.  I know true love knows no financial bounds and that's what I'm holding on to.  I know we'll work it out somehow, someway, and I'm trusting that the Lord will provide me with the means to provide for her.  The wedding is still 8 months out, so i have time to save up for the wedding either by building my business or by a regular job (which i'm going for an interview on Monday).  Emotionally, I think she'll be fine as long as she stays on her medication and the doctor doesn't tinker with it too much.  If I have to buy my own insurance policy for her, I will do that.  Mentally, she may be bi-polar, but she is very intelligent.  Physically, she is big, but that's partly due to her medicine.  She does eat vegetables so she's not a hamburger/pizza person like I am which is good.

[Joe Biden 2020]

As someone who rushed into marriage too quickly and still feels the profound psychological effects of that mistake to this day (and probably always will, given it's gotten worse if anything with time), my advice to you is this: consider the fact that other than having children it is far and away the most important decision you will ever make and will have the most profound effect on your happiness or lack thereof for the rest of your life.

If you have even the tiniest shred of doubt in your mind, you shouldn't do it.

Well, we're going to give it a month, or until about Labor Day, to kind of take a break and assess where we both stand.  If you were to ask me right now, I have no doubts and no reservations.  I'm still going to take advantage of this next month to relax and focus on other things and take a good look at my feelings, my goals, my dreams, and what I want in this marriage.  She's going to do the same.  We will talk to each other on the phone every now and then, but we may not see each other very much.  As of now, my mother is still in possession of the ring and will remain so until Susan and me decide that we want to continue.  Susan told me today that she does want to keep April 9, 2011 intact.

Torie, I read part of the Wikipedia article on bipolar disorder and from what I can tell, she has the lowest level of bipolar (bipolar I).  She does have her mood swings, but they are not as severe as people with bipolar II.  In fact, sometimes I think I have a very mild case of bipolar disorder as I have some extreme mood swings.  The thing with her is she has never been, to my knowledge anyway, suicidal nor does she ever use any illegal substances to calm down.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I can't make anyone believe that I'm real or fake, but I know that I am real.  I just have gone through a rough month starting around the middle of July and I've just been documenting my troubles as part of my self-prescribed "therapy".  A lot of the past month was of my doing, but I still need to recover and this forum has helped with my healing.  I just have a habit of being very open and very transparent about my life and sometimes I take it too far which makes me seem unbelievable to some.

I will say that i am having a pretty good August so far and nothing much has gone too terribly wrong.  I'm looking forward to the "break" with Susan and I do sincerely hope that come September that we can pick up where we left off and move on for by that time we will be down to 7 months if we keep April 9 as the wedding date which is what we plan on doing.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I'm not worrying about this like the job thing, everyone's got to learn from experience what works and what doesn't in relationships and this particular situation will resolve itself on its own one way or the other fairly soon.

And, on the job front, I've got an interview for a data entry position in the southern suburb of Moore, OK that would pay between $10-$12 an hour working 9-6 M-F.  This would allow me to get a consistent income while my business is building.  I still think Ameriplan is legit and I've had several people around here check it out and they are okay with it.  Not to mention, we were featured on Good Morning America this past Wednesday morning.  By the end of this week I will have already made $335 and will have acquired my first promotion.  It's not much, but it's a good start.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Jesse,

I’m fine, seriously.  I’ve read every bit of advice given to me on this forum and I have taken it to heart.   I still believe Ameriplan is a legitimate company, but I am looking for another office job to boost my income at least in the short term.  I do not believe that the only legitimate jobs are an 8-hour a day office job with limited advancement or working in the trades.   I am doing what I believe is best for myself and my future family.  Everybody’s path to success in the corporate world is different, and I see no reason why I cannot be successful with Ameriplan and feel good about it at the same time.  I also don’t believe that every MLM business is a scam.  It’s definitely not for everybody, but so far I’m doing pretty well in it, much better and much faster than I ever thought I would at this point.  I’ve already accomplished the necessary tasks to achieve my first promotion, which will boost my pay just a bit.  The thing is right now I am happy with my career choice and I am content with whatever happens with the relationship.  As I said earlier, August has been a really good month for me so far and we’re a quarter of the way through the month.  I’m not trashing the advice I’ve been given on the forum, and in fact I appreciate all the advice, but a man has to make his own mind up and make his own mistakes and own up to the mistakes he’s made.  Sure, I’ve made mistakes especially in the last half of July, but I’m happy with where I’m at and I do sleep well at night.  I do not need a therapist, and again, I feel happy and I feel content.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Well, I'm off to a real job interview for a data entry position paying $10-$12 an hour in Moore.  I've got to be there by 11:00 and I want to be there by 10:45.  See ya later!!  I'll let you know how things turn out.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I got back from the interview around 12:40.  (It's now 3:30).  It sounds pretty good, and I should have an actual interview with the client hopefully by the end of the week or the first of next week.  Again, it's a $10/hour data entry job for a company in the City of Moore.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I got back from the interview around 12:40.  (It's now 3:30).  It sounds pretty good, and I should have an actual interview with the client hopefully by the end of the week or the first of next week.  Again, it's a $10/hour data entry job for a company in the City of Moore.

Good luck, seems like you are making a little more sense.

Just a few questions  (though I'm sure I know the answer)

1.  What happened to that $600 a week you said was guaranteed?

2.  Any of the sales to anyone outside of your family?

I'm not going to answer anything about the business except on personal message or facebook or e-mail.  I already promised that earlier to the moderators and I broke that a few posts back and Lunar called me out on it.  Plus, I don't want anything to be misconstrued as soliciting.

CubOB, sorry I haven't gotten back to you.  Before we get married we're going to sit down and have a long talk.  We'll probably have that chat hopefully by the end of September so we're not going to deep.  Plus, we'll have marriage counseling before then that will give us the tools we need to live a long, successful, and happy marriage.  One of the things we're going to agree on is that the word divorce will not be in our vocabulary.  Her mom has been through 2 divorces and Susan doesn't want to follow suit, especially with her medical condition.  My parents have been married 38 happy years and they are on their first marriage right out of high school, but I have an uncle who is on his 4th wife and I see how miserable he really is.  We are going to do our very, very best to make things work and the only reason divorce will ever even be discussed would be due to infidelity.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I made some progress on the job front today.  I went for another interview this afternoon and have two possibilities that may come out of that.  The first possibility is an Office Clerk for a Mortgage Company - $10.00 - 8-5 M-F.  The second is a Loan Counselor - $10.50 - either 8-5 or 12-9 M-F.

I should have direct interviews with those employers by Monday or Tuesday.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Have you had any bites from the previous interviews?

I'd also echo many of the concerns others have expressed about Susan, but you seem to have your mind made up and far be it from me to try and sway you.

Not yet, but I've got to be patient with those.  In each of those cases they are waiting for the client to respond back with further instruction.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I just had a very nice chat with Susan.  She is doing pretty well except for severe allergies that is making her nauseus.  From the sounds of it, she does want to marry me, but the date may be pushed back possibly.  She does want to keep April 9 intact for right now, but with the option that we could push it back.  She just wants to take it easy for a month or two while pushing the wedding talk to the side and just get to know me better.  I like that idea.  She does want to see me every now and then, though, and just hang out.  As far as her giving the ring back, she said she tried to call me before she talked to my parents, but didn't leave a message thinking I was mad at her.  I looked through my phone to see if she actually did call me and sure enough, I missed a call from her number.  So, that argument just got thrown out the window.  She did say she wants to go to Frontier City (our local theme park) with me in September when it gets a little cooler.  I told her I would love that.  This gives me at least 8 months to figure out a way to be able to pay for her expensive medical treatments.  I told her that the good thing is we're still 8 months from April 9, not 2 months.  So, if we did keep April 9, we could still take a breather for a couple months and still not have to really rush.

[Joe Biden 2020]

She just wants to take it easy for a month or two while pushing the wedding talk to the side and just get to know me better.

As everyone here has been telling you, "getting to know you better" is something that's supposed to happen before you get engaged.  Again, why don't you just try dating without the engagement, and not worry about marriage until after you already know each other well enough that there won't be any more "surprises" like this one?

That's kind of what we plan on doing.  April 9 is now just a target date that can easily be pushed back with just a phone call.

[Joe Biden 2020]

In a number of more conservative Protestant (and a few very conservative Catholic) church cultures (many conservative Baptists for example), 'engaged' is essentially synonymous with 'going steady', and as such many people get 'engaged' very quickly in a relationship or at a very young age because it is looked down upon to be in any longer-term relationship without that sign of commitment to eventually marry.

For example, my potential brother-in-law's fiancee (he's 22, she is now 20) used to go to a First Baptist Church that was like this, and she was once engaged when she was 14. They may or may not have actually had any realistic aspiration to marry, but it is accepted that if you are seriously interested in someone, you got engaged. It didn't work out, obviously, and she managed to leave that church, but their entire culture is based around marrying young. I have several other friends who go to that same church, and one of them just got married at 23 after getting engaged less than two months into their relationship. In fact, they didn't even kiss until their wedding, but she is pretty happy now and talks glowingly about their sex life a lot, so it works for some people.

My brother is another example.  He met his bride on the side of the road in upstate New York and within 5 months they were married in a saloon of all places.  This was back in February, 1996, and they have been married 14 1/2 wonderful years.  He was 19 and she was 25 when they wed.  Now, he's 34 (will turn 35 in March) and she will turn 40 in January.  They have a beautiful 10 1/2 year old daughter who will turn 11 just two days after Christmas and is going into the 5th grade.  She just missed being a Y2K baby by 100 hours too early.

[Joe Biden 2020]

After speaking with my parents Wednesday evening, I have pretty much decided to call it quits with Susan.  I still want to be friends with her, but the main reason for breaking up with her is I perceive that it would create tension between my parents and my family and her parents.  Before the out-of-order break up, my parents were all for this wedding, but now they can't even stand the name because of the way Susan and her mom trashed me at my mother's house.  I still like Susan, personally, but I don't want to create unwanted tension.  Plus, one of these days, I want kids of my own without having to go through an adoption agency or a surrogate mother and with Susan I would have to do just that.  Another thing, while I do long to get married, I have to realize that I am only 28 and still relatively young.  This will also give me a chance to focus on my business and my other job that I'll hopefully start by September 1.  I need to get my finances in order before I am in any position to think about a marriage.  My parents are so against the marriage that they said they would cut off all financial support if we were to wed.

If I can just be patient, I think I'll be the happier for it.