Comedy Goldmine XI: The Atlas Forum Demilitarized Zone

[Marokai Backbeat]

Not sure if I mentioned this before, but frequently my house is visited by this poltergeist-type thing. Occasionally it seems to show up as a man in the hallway. It's tolerable most of the time but it was pretty annoying last night since it shook and opened our doors at 4:30 am. Anyone have anything similar happen to them?

Mint, I think I may be able to help you, believe it or not.  We encountered a similar presence in our old house.  Before I advise you, however, I need to know one detail about the apparition you've seen in your hallway.  Does he have googly eyes?

[The Mikado]

I HATE MIKADO WTF IS THAT NAME JAPANESE HE'S WEIRD I'M SLEEPY

LUNER MOAR LIK LOONAR LOL IS HE A WERWULF OR SUMTHIN

[Lunar]

you're weird sometimes

[Landslide Lyndon]

"You are the face of the Republican party."

Yes! 

If some gay dude is the face of the Republican party, we're in a lot of trouble.

We don't know if he's gay. He's just a happy person. I really like him. He is a staunch conservative, who is doing more as a Freshman than most of the old farts are doing. I hope he is the face of the Republican Party. Maybe it will help us win over the women vote.

[paul718]

Can I retract my vote? I got him confused with another guy(Marikobi Blue or whatever the hell it is).

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Genius:

How the Great Depression was handled in Europe? We knew it was caused by the Jews, so we tried to eradicate them. Didn't work, so I recommend another solution this time.

That made me laugh (even though it shouldn't).

[Platypus]

Yes, I also enjoy playing my N64, listening to Matchbox 20, and following the developments in the Lewinsky scandal....

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Click for context:

We'll see.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I'm actually impressed that he hasn't said something along the lines of:

"Unlike the rest of you, I'm not a publicity hound.  I don't care what f****ts on the Internet care about me.  Right now I'm more focused on the recession.  These new numbers have very, very bad consequences.  I won't say what quite yet, but be on your guard.  Things will get worse before they get better."

[Filuwaúrdjan]

If you'd asked the same question of the Tories even in April 1997, most people would have said Portillo...until he lost his seat.

Oh, I wish. Though I recently watched a clip from one of his shows on YouTube and he bashed my boy Iain Duncan Smith for taking the Tories too far to the right. What was that about?   I thought Portillo was pretty right wing himself.

We are told he had a 'Damascus' conversion while working as a hospital porter. Oh and the whole gay thing at university. To be honest Portillo circa '95 was really just hot air. He was never as far to the right as he seemed. He just had to position himself that way, as did William Hague after him.

Translation: He did an opebo going to Thailand thing.

[Lief 🗽]

Question: What do you call it when Sam Spade is stabbed to death by a homeless African American during a mugging gone awry?





Answer: Justice

Humor exists in the above quote due to its veracity.

[Јas]

Epic Fáil.

[Lunar]

Congratulations!  The only thing you need now is something to blow on.

I did blow on some candles last night. 

two ships passing in the night?  or is VB's mouth not as dirty as I think?  you decide

[minionofmidas]

Question: What do you call it when Sam Spade is stabbed to death by a homeless African American during a mugging gone awry?





Answer: Justice

Humor exists in the above quote due to its veracity.

[Platypus]

Pork is my least favourite of the major meats. It is tolerable, but I hate ham, and bacon is gross by itself.

What's your favorite "major meat"? Tube steak?

I know you're making a joke states, but I'm not sure what tube steak is, so it's gone over my head.

In which case, the tube steak has been served about 8-10 inches too high.

[The Mikado]

You know who is really skinny (therefore making people feel fat)? Pat Toomey

What's his deal? Why is he trying to get fats out of the GOP? So much for the Club for Growth, eh Pat?

Phil wins that thread, though Ben's map comes close.

[Lunar]

Question: What do you call it when Sam Spade is stabbed to death by a homeless African American during a mugging gone awry?





Answer: Justice

Humor exists in the above quote due to its veracity.

my response was funny too though!

[Kaine for Senate '18]

though Ben's map comes close.

The map was serious, though

I do hope that all of you got your ice cream choices approved by Rush Limbaugh.

I think his doctor told him not to.

[Sam Spade]

Question: What do you call it when Sam Spade is stabbed to death by a homeless African American during a mugging gone awry?





Answer: Justice

Humor exists in the above quote due to its veracity.

my response was funny too though!

[Meeker]

@AKGovSarahPalin   Frugg just gave birth to twigg,,, LOVE HIM

[Bono]

In a way I'm nervous, but not because of the flu.    My worry is that the white rich ruling class is attempting DE- population.  Get rid of 35-40% of the poor population and their wealth is secured. 

[Lief 🗽]

I've been wanting to do this myself but can't devote the time to it right now.  Using the '08 (or other election) exit polls, what would happen if Limbaugh, Hannity, and Toomey got their way and all moderate Republicans were purged from the Republican Party?  What would America look like if all of us RINOs decided that we would rather deal with the left-wing whackos than the right-wing ones?  How many EV's would Obama have gotten?  How many Democratic Senators would there be if all liberals and moderates voted together for the Dem candidate?

1.  The GOP would probably lose a couple elections in the short term but then when Americans realize conservatives share their values, we would return to the days of Reagan dominence.  Good riddance to snarlin arlen.

2.  America would look like it does now, as liberals control all three branches of government and the media.  We would just have even more liberals in the tent...liberals who call themselves moderate, which is laughable.

3.   See my answer to question one.  After a few election cycles, the conservative movement would be stonger than ever.  Creme always rises to the top.

[Marokai Backbeat]

God, I missed him.

[Marokai Backbeat]

Swine flu is bacon me crazy

[Lunar]

Sam: That's what I was going for

I know...was a poor joke.

I was trying to imply that everybody routinely makes random obscene phone calls while masterbating.  I sometimes forget that everbody doesn't live inside my head.

I don't know what this is but it's funnycute