The Comedy Goldmine(ONLY FUNNY ATLAS POSTS ALLOWED, NO BRTD ALLOWED)

[bullmoose88]

I think nearly every angus post belongs here.

He's hilarious.

[KEmperor]

Even a 12-yr-old knows that shooting your mommy in the head is WRONG!

No it isn't.

Um.....

There's no such thing as objective morality, prude.  You just dislike mother-killing, for subjective reasons.  Personally I think it sounds a rather natural developement from the sort of dictatorial power we allow parents.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Yes. Which is why I want to throw a heavy object at a certain thick-headed orc from Merseyside... and tar & feather some waste-of-oxygen Swede...

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

If those are capitalists, there is something I would like to buy from them..

[??????????]

the biggest nymphomaniacs I've met came from same sex schools.

OK, I change my position - all schools should be converted to same-sex schools!

[© tweed]

why is this uncool?

Because it's gay.

[??????????]

I say yes to all. The only poster we have dumber than Bush is Mike Naso.

I'm sorry....I was in the other room grabbing a toothpick because I got one of your mother's pubes stuck in my teeth.

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

Soccer is not violent enough (Unless you count the fans)

[YRABNNRM]

I'd like people's opinions...better or worse over the last three years?

[Ebowed]

Plus it would be nice just to have one foreigner with a blue avatar.

What about Richius? If you consider canada to be foreign.

I'd rather not think about Richius.

[Ebowed]

Remind me again why 51 percent of Americans voted for this moron?

50.73%.

It may be 0.27%, but it makes me feel a little less depressed.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Prostitution - Strongly oppose and should be illegal.

Drug legalisation - Strongly Oppose.  Drug use is a plague upon our country.  We must have higher penalties upon drug sellers and anyone involved in the business.  We have to secure our borders to prevent drugs from flowing in.  We need to have a mandatory death penalty for drug lords and boses.  Draconian action is desperately needed.

Prude Kramer needs to get laid and take a Valium..

[Јas]

The Guardian's ten suggestions o what Materazzi may have said:

1. I've got a piece of steak stuck in my windpipe - could you help me get it out
2. Your wife likes it when I do this
3. You can't win this Zinédine. If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
4. Camus' absurdist duality is merely an extension of misguided western philosophical traditions, and therefore no more helpful in understanding life and death than the ideas that predated it.
5. I saw your mum round the back of the Olympiastadion
6. Oi, slaphead, let me do that thing Benny Hill used to do to the little old fella.
7. In italy, when someone tweaks your nipple, it is the secret signal to start throwing the match
8. I am very interested in the late Cretacious period - could you show me how the Homalocephale defended itself from enemies?
9. Luis Figo told me your middle name is Yaz.
10. Eh, la, I played for Everton - who did you ever play for? Do one, mate

[Sam Spade]

whoa.  You're a tasty-looking beverage after all.  I'd always figured you for an early-30s geeky white male with nothing better to do.  Sorry, man.  Er, I mean, Sorry babe.

[Platypus]

Your girlfriend is a sexy chubby!

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[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Damn, beat me to it hugh.

[Hatman 🍁]

Damn, beat me to it hugh.

I was going to post it too

[jerusalemcar5]

That's funny!  My dad's law partner told me that joke, except with Bill Clinton instead of George Bush (it was when Clinton was president).

Rin-chan

^^^^^^ Same thing for me, it's actually better since Clinton lied more than Bush.

[jokerman]

Flyers wins the "dumbass of the day" award, in response to Nomo's fake pictures:

I know I'm joining the chorus of many men in here, but you're hot.  I never wanted to kick you off of here and remember who argues with Keystone Phil over Rick Santorum the most!

What a loser.

[Michael Z]

Generally, if parents don't let their kids get jobs, and their kids don't  up too badly with their studies, the parents won't hesitate in giving them a few bucks to go to the movies with some blonde skank who wasn't good enough for me. Dammit. She TOLD me she was a virgin. DAMMIT.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Whats the longest animal in the world?

In my pants.

[Joe Republic]

Hmm, it took just over a day.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Actually I only did that due to your comment. Alcon's post would be better.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

It appears that liberals are not the true elitists after all.

He's not an elitist, BRTD, he's an anti-intellectual knuckle-dragging jumped-up social climbing prole.

[Hatman 🍁]

I am a loser. I've come to face it. I spike my hair....nobody likes it...including me. I comb it back...older women (30yrs old+) and family go nuts and tell me how beautiful my hair is. But, no girls like me. I'm never gonna be in a relationship. I'm lonely, and have nobody. I'm a nice, charming, Italian guy. I was a model as a child...and everyone thought I was the best lookin' thing...now no girls want to look at me. I don't under stand how I can win 2nd place in a Barbizon modeling competition...in the same place Hallie Berry and Katie Holmes started...then get ignored like I look horrible by girls a few years later.

Life sucks.