The Comedy Goldmine(ONLY FUNNY ATLAS POSTS ALLOWED, NO BRTD ALLOWED)

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Do you believe in incorporating any of the following items into your "fun": power tools,  live squid, limes, live gerbils, seaweed, feces, tabasco sauce, razor wire, cacti and horses?

[Keystone Phil]

I am sure Lieberman has black supporters as well.

So yall need to go  off.  You all are about as intelligent as Mississippians. Arkansas is the most intelligent southern state.

Blacks get blamed for every problem in this country it seems, and yall have nothing better to do but to argue about politics all day.

I already posted that, Lamont supporter.

[Keystone Phil]

That shows more of your lack of understanding about the barber shop culture than anything else.  Its about represneting the community more than anything else, not about being thugged out.

Are you in touch with the barber shop culture?

[Sam Spade]

Always funny:

I put an IMPEACH BUSH sticker on my bike in late 2001, I think. After that, the bike kept getting vandalized by Nazis.

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

Hooray! Yet another thread where we all point out how horrible/stupid this man is, but then Opebo comes in, calls this man a FF, insults the U.S. legal system, and then calls us all prudes. Then, we get into a huge discussion about objective morality and whether it really exists (although I agree with Opebo that it technically doesn't).

Anyway, I'll throw a curveball. I'll say that this man is a prude, and therefore a HP, because he prefers sex with little kids rather than hot women.

[??????????]

On Opebo :

I would totally support cloning him and place clones in each position.

Yet another wonderful argument against human cloning.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Of course it's a sacred ritual.  It goes like this:

1. Man has sex with child.
2. Man gets caught.
3. Man goes to jail (or gets disrobed by the Vatican; delete as appropriate).
4. Man gets murdered by vigilantes.

It's a wonderful cycle of life.

[Rob]

LOL at Lieberman not knowing how to put his website back up.  He ought to have a chat with Ted Stevens.

[YRABNNRM]

Why does no one know how to spell GIULIANI?

G-I-U-L-I-A-N-I

Christ.

It is one of those bizarre ethnic names that we midwesterners would prefer not to exert the effort to learn.  After all the fellow is a has-been who will never be president.

Good job the Midwest is devoid of such difficult ethnic names like Blagojevich, Obama, Pawlenty, Klobuchar and Feingold, to name a couple.

[WMS]

Straight.

I do like this "normal" stuff.  If normal means majority, States, then your sex makes you abnormal.  Correct this immediately!

Normal = majority = good is a pretty ridiculous concept.

Globally, there are more men than women.

Haha.

First you want us to consider homosexuality normal, and now you want us to regard other countries as important?

Slow down there, Che.

Well done.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Lieberman never had any 'decency'.  He's a pushy social climbing religious.

[Rob]

Whatever, can you say Liberman (ID-CN)?

Lieberman has my endorsement for Idaho Constitution Party!

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Let's see.

1. Some random college student running because he likes strip clubs.

2. An accomplished, well-liked mayor who has revealed that this crack down is in part due to apparent mob connections that the strip clubs have, and law abuses on their parts.

Hmm.

[ATFFL]

There are some things so wrong and just beyond all civilized normas(pedophilia, necrophilia, bestiality, being opebo) that need to be stamped out

[dazzleman]

Red,

How does Opebo's jockstrap smell?

[Rob]

Since Red set the precedent of putting posts from other boards on this thread, here are two:

Alien is the ultimate film on the black/slave rebellion theme.

Alien is in fact a coded story of a black man's rebellion against wide suppression and his vengeance on his former 'masters'.

Notice all these clues:

The Alien is black.

The Alien has a head like an enormous phallus - a supposed attribute of males of African origin.

The Alien has an enormously long powerful tail - another phallus motif.

The Alien is an 'alien' - it comes from somewhere else.

The Alien attacks from above and hangs from ceilings and gantries - an allusion to racist slurs about 'monkeys'.

The Alien is alone on the ship - just like black Parker.

Parker is the last person 'killed' by the Alien apart from the white females - this scene in fact is symbolic of Parker's true nature, his warrior and sexual side, finally freeing itself of the chains of Parker's former menial, almost slave-like status as ship engineer, outranked by all the whites, even females.

Once the Alien/Parker has finished off his male white oppressors,he turns on the female white crew members - symbolic of the feared (in the 70's and 80's) black uprising in South Africa and elsewhere, whites were terrified of mass murder of men and violent rape of women.

Notice the symbolism of a white woman dressing in white as Parker/Alien looks lecherously on. Even her space suit is white...

Finally Parker/Alien is expelled into the blackness of space (aka Africa) by the white woman. We do not see him dying so we can assume he has finally found happiness.

Add to all of this that the actor in the suit was Nigerian.

[From a post criticizing conservative usage of "strained binary formulae"]:

If you don't accept the Palestinian right of return you're either a passionate supporter of ethnic cleansing or tiny pixies control your brain.

If you support the abolition of inheritance tax you're either Paris Hilton's drug dealer or a believer in oligarchy.

[Alcon]

According to this site, I was just shot.

[Michael Z]

Needs to be read in context:

I'd have loved to have seen JFK recover from those sorts of wounds.

[YRABNNRM]

Let's not. Myspaces are gay.

Or maybe you are just gay. Everyone has a myspace where I live.

[Michael Z]

If JFK had recovered from his wounds in Dallas,

You do realise he had his brains blown out, right?

Well if they had gotten some half reasonable doctors they could have just put those brains back in.  Duh.

[jerusalemcar5]

This is old, but I just read it and found it funny.

do you all really think debs would have voted for any of the goobers running in 04?  wasnt he a convicted felon?  in that case, he wouldnt have been allowed to vote in florida.  but then again he was white, so theyd probably allow it.

[YRABNNRM]

Drugs- I support legalizing Maujunua.

I'm I a Rokefeller Republican?

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

Drugs- I support legalizing Maujunua.

I'm I a Rokefeller Republican?

The context that makes this funny (aside from the possibly drug-induced misspellings) for those of you who are not from New York and thus may not have heard of them are the Rockefeller drug laws which gave New York State the harshest drug laws in the country.

[Nation]

You guys have fun getting hammered. I'll be the one in the corner coping a feel of the passed out chick.

HAHAHA!

[MaC]

I know the English language so well I purposely make mistakes like that to make fun of those that can't use it correctly

That sounds like Hawkeye logic.  Did you realize this when you were in High Screwl reading those pisstory books?