The Nyman Questioner Volume 2018 (WE'RE BACK)

[Pericles]

Lol these last six, seven posts.

[IceAgeComing]

Alleged Category: Hypocrisy, allegedly

EXCLUSIVE: Prominent public Moraliser allegedly EMBROILED in Transit drug scandal: also allegedly supports drug illegalisation, allegedly

By ISAAC CUMMINGS, alleged Chief Political Reporter; reporting from Tokyo, Japan

SOURCES close to the Nyman Questioner have revealed that Bernard Wulfric, an alleged anti-drug private citizen allegedly from Lincoln, allegedly consumed cocaine at the 4th January party in the Capitol in Nyman.

The alleged incident was reported to the Questioner by our alleged intrepid reporter, who allegedly left hospital last week.  He provided the Questioner with a list of alleged people at the party; and further alleged investigations by the Questioner revealed that Mr Wulfric was the only other individual there who's alleged public statements heavily contradict with his alleged private life.

Our source allegedly saw Mr Wulfric and Representative Transit engaged in alleged vigorous conversation in the capitol toilets over a white powder, later proven by our alleged reporter to be cocaine.  The alleged Mr Wulfric (if that IS his real name) seemed to be in fine spirits at the party, with the alleged Representative extolling the virtue of fine cocaine.  Our allegedly intrepid reporter then tested the Representative's substance to check its… safety, and then allegedly had an accident and was rushed to an alleged hospital.

Mr Wulfric's alleged drug policies are the alleged legalisation of Cannabis and the alleged banning of other substances with alleged offenders going to an alleged rehab facility.  One has to wonder about this alleged hypocrisy - yet another example of a major figure moralising to you, the allegedly normal people of Atlasia about why something should be banned before allegedly partaking in it himself.  If that happened - and we are not by any means saying that it did - then it'd be a demonstration of hypocrisy which should discourage ordinary Atlasians from listening to the alleged Mr Wulfric.

It also helps answer an alleged question; why did Mr Wulfric allegedly move from Fremont to Lincoln?  An alleged close personal friend of Mr Wulfric allegedly gave the following alleged statement to the Questioner: "He moved from Fremont to Lincoln to be closer to the Nyman and we all wondered why.  He claimed that it was because he could lobby for change for easily, but that's clearly wrong.  I think that we've all figured it out now and it's a shame".  He then allegedly stated that it demonstrated the alleged corrupting influence of Nyman; and complimented the alleged President for staying above it all.

The alleged Mr Wulfric issued a statement to the Question from his alleged lawyers denying all charges and issued plans to allegedly sue the questioner for slander. Mr Wulfric publically opposes the current President; partially because of her pro-freedom drug policies.

We asked the White House for comment: a spokesperson for the alleged President allegedly said that "she's not interested" in Mr Wulfric's alleged affairs.

For more allegedly high quality coverage of alleged stories; please subscribe to the alleged Nyman Questioner.

[Wells]

THE FEBRUARY 2018 ELECTION IN REVIEW

NYMAN - Coming off a string of election victories this weekend, the Federalists are finding themselves to be in terrible shape. "After maintaining the Presidency, a House majority, and gaining a governorship," announced one political commentator. "I've never seen the Federalists in such a state of disarray." In fact it appears that the vast majority of Atlasians now hate the Federalist Party, despite handing them major victories over the weekend. "I just don't trust the Federalists, you know?" said one enthusiastic voter we talked to, who also believes the Young Texan was a "martyr" who was "unfairly punished" for his lies and deceit. We'll let readers decide whether or not this person, who we admit is purely hypothetical and hopefully is not represented by any actual Atlasians, is a mental midget.

While it is true that the public now hates the Federalist Party, to be fair it also seems that the Federalist Party hates the public. In a widely publicized scandal, they were lifting up an official who didn't want to win just to maintain their majority - and it appears that they succeeded despite the widespread backlash. We reached out to two people for statements. I.I.B.P. Aaron Zona, the Governor-Elect of Lincoln, we decided not to publish due to spelling mistakes. Secretary of State Raisin Reactionary, however, had perfect spelling when he said, "I didn't read your question, but the Federalists are in the right here and everyone else is in the wrong, and it has never been any different during all of Atlasia's history."

Despite the wishful thinking of some people, it appears that the Federalist Party is in trouble heading forward. Whether it is because the elections were closer than expected, tensions between factions of the party leading to rivalries and hate, or their deepening unpopularity among the Atlasian public, their downward spiral shows no signs of stopping any time soon. We can still hold out hope that at least NeverAgain is happy, wherever he is.

[Pericles]

Pretty much.

[P. Clodius Pulcher did nothing wrong]

Pax Pacis!!!

[IceAgeComing]

Corrections and Clarifications

The Nyman Questioner published on the 27th January this year contained an article entitled "OBITUARIES: THE LABOR PARTY", which detailed the serious problems facing a major political party.  However; this article contained false information, due to incorrect research by a intern formally employed by the paper.  The article should have been titled "OBITUARIES: THE FEDERALIST PARTY".

We at the Nyman Questioner apologise for any confusion caused, and hope that you'll continue to trust us, Atlasia's most trustworthy newspaper.

[IceAgeComing]

Category: Sports; Mixed Martial Arts

ROUND ONE KNOCK-OUT!  On campaign trail, Bernard Wulfric takes on WOMAN MMA FIGHTER - and loses!

By ISAAC CUMMINGS, Senior Political Reporter, reporting from Giovanni's Restaurant

A day after launching his campaign; Bernard Wulfric had to make a detour on the campaign trail - to hospital.

The member of the "We aren't the Federalists, we promise" Party and candidate in the Lincoln Assembly by-election got involved in a scuffle with a prominent Mixed Martial Arts fighter while campaigning in Philadelphia.

After spending a "jolly" day campaigning, Mr Wulfric was reported to be in high spirits prior to entering Giovanni's restaurant for a dinner strategy meeting.  At some point during the meal, it was believed that Mr Wulfric said something to Julia Budd, Bellator Women's Featherweight Champion who was also dining at the time which caused a shouting match which devolved into a scuffle.  Ms Budd is not known to be an angry Canadian women, with friends present at the meal reporting that she was heavily provoked.

Events in the restaurant are naturally vague.  A customer present at the time reported "mass shock and confusion" although stated that he had heard a man loudly saying words towards Ms Budd that we have elected not to publish on the grounds of taste, however the general message was that the man, most likely Mr Wulfric, was loudly declaring their opposition to Women competing in Combat sports, and offering alternative potential positions for predominant Female Fighters.  Following that: "the man attempted to push [Ms Budd], who reacted by striking him across the face several times and putting the man in some kind of arm bar before other customers intervened and restrained both.  The man later attempted to escape, while the women apologised to other customers in the restaurant".

The police arrived and took statements from witnesses at the scene before deciding that neither party had a case to answer.  Our source at the police department reported "We cannot prove who instigated the events inside the restaurant, and so we have elected to stop our investigations".  Mr Giovanni, the restaurants proprietor has banned Mr Wulfric from the premises while describing Ms Budd as "a valued customer".  We approached Bellator for a comment; and they responded that they were doing their own internal investigation that "would seek to discover whether Ms Budd was responsible for the events this evening" and declined to comment further.

Dr Riccardo Antinucci, who was responsible for Mr Wulfric's care, said that he had been released and was suffering from a mild concussion, bruising to the face and a torn right bicep.  Our source in the Wulfric campaign said that he was "tired and emotional" after his trying experience, and was spending the next day off the campaign trail to recover.

We asked the Wulfric campaign for a statement on this matter; we are awaiting a response.  We contacted the White House for a response, they responded by shouting "NOT INTERESTED" very loudly into the telephone and instantly hanging up.

THE QUESTIONERS POSITION: You need to trust your elected representatives to be truthful, honest and sensible.  The recent events that have come up around Mr Wulfric suggest that he is none of those things, lying about his alleged history with drugs and now apparently being on the losing side of restaurant brawls when apparently campaigning.  We think that Lincoln voters should take that into account when they decide who to vote for this weekend.

For more hot scoops like this, along with Atlasia's best coverage of sanctioned mixed martial arts, please subscribe to the Nyman Questioner, the Nations hottest newspaper.

[Wells]

THIS IS TREASON

Anyone who has been paying attention to Atlasia knows about the charges being brought against Nina Jay, but what they don't know is the full story behind it. After reading this, you still won't know the full story, but you will know who actually committed treason, and Nina Jay is not that person.

The Lincoln Government has a Discord where they mainly discuss bills. In that Discord, there are seven members: Polly Masters, Louis V. Thunder, Michael Wells, Aaron Zona, Jimmy Smith, Reagan Clinton, and Nina Jay. However, there used to be an eighth member of that Discord. Bernard Wulfric joined on March 13, 2018 to great fanfare by myself, who was suspicious of his presence, but he simply confirmed that it was in fact the Wulfric and attributed his invitation to the Discord to Jimmy Smith.

While he was a member of the Discord, he had access to a bunch of public records, starting from February 22, 2018. At least they are public records if you ask our respectable Attorney General Oakley Vale. However, on March 21, he was nowhere to be found in the list of members of the Discord. He had left the Discord.

What he did was perhaps closer to the dictionary definition of deletion of public records than what Avery Ose did a few years back. And we will lay it out to you just how this works. On March 19, we know that Wulfric had access to everything the Lincoln government did on Discord (including some specific "motion" that has generated a touch of controversy). If you asked him for a screenshot or some logs, he would have been able to provide one for you easily. On March 21, Wulfric would be very pressed if you asked him the same question.

The public records were at first accessible from his computer or phone, but because of his own actions, they are no longer accessible to him. It is clear that he has literally deleted public records and should face punishment at least equal to what Nina Jay eventually faces through his trial.

[Pericles]

roflmao.

[Wells]

New article coming soon - just in time for the midterms. It's a completely real news story - involving Louisville Thunder.

[Wells]

New article coming soon - just in time for the midterms. It's a completely real news story - involving Louisville Thunder.

Just saying that LT knows what he did, and he had better apologize in his speech or this article is going up.

[Wells]

We were going to wait for Mr. Thunder to attempt to apologize for what he did but we realized that we were too vague considering he has done a lot, and at any rate after witnessing one of his attempts at apology we have decided not to convince him to subject us to any more. So here is the article:

THE TRUTH ABOUT LOUIS V. THUNDER

With the Lincoln Senate race in full swing, we were very much excited to endorse the populist Louis V. Thunder campaign until we decided to do a bit of research into his candidacy. What we found was a ton of dirt, in pretty much every area you can think of. This has already been alluded to by numerous people, including our own editor-in-chief, who has decided to act so sanctimonious about it in public, the prick.

But the only thing that we knew for sure he had not done was murder someone. Right? WRONG!

As it turns out the answer lies once again in what the mainstream lamestream shamestream media has attempted to hide from you the whole time. It also happens to be in Thunder's home state of Kentucky. You may recall in the final days of Yankee's presidency, there was a subtle stirring in certain informed circles about a mass murder that occurred in Kentucky. Unluckily for us "fact-checkers" deemed it never happened and the mainstream lamestream shamestream media buried it under coverage of the dfw upset (aptly named because it upset all that was right) the next month.

We decided to visit the small Kentucky town where the massacre occurred on a Sunday, and there we found a mass occurring. We asked the church members about the event and they looked at us with sad looks on their faces, which we took as clear proof that the events had happened. When we inquired with a townsperson by the name of Kelly at the bar, they told us that the perpetrator of the Bowling Green Massacre was none other than Louis V. Thunder himself.

With this new information in mind, how can the voters think for a second of choosing such a dirty politician? He's got the corruption, evil schemes, nasty comments, murders, and perfect attendance record! What a dangerous combination, especially for the poor common folks of Atlasia, who just want a Senator who cares about people, not murder them or say mean things about them.

We urge all Lincoln citizens not to vote for anybody, but with somebody. And that somebody is their conscience. If you are Senator Thunder and do not have one, then we are confident that you will be able to vote for yourself without any worries.

[Southern Senator North Carolina Yankee]

I was hoping you would bite on my post in the Tower thread to make something hilarious about Oakvale's departure from the House.

[Wells]

I was hoping you would bite on my post in the Tower thread to make something hilarious about Oakvale's departure from the House.

We do find it concerning that you apparently lock people who aren't sufficiently swampy in a tower. Perhaps we are in need of a special investigation.

[Southern Senator North Carolina Yankee]

I was hoping you would bite on my post in the Tower thread to make something hilarious about Oakvale's departure from the House.

We do find it concerning that you apparently lock people who aren't sufficiently swampy in a tower. Perhaps we are in need of a special investigation.

You find it more concerning that people are being locked up in said tower than that people are mysteriously vanishing in the tower.

Deeply Disturbing, why is Wells so hypocritical about alleged murder?

[Wells]

Oh hell yeah bitcj

We know you all thought that the swamp had gotten the best of us, that we had been successfully silenced. This is somewhat true, our editor-in-chief himself has been forced by the swamp to leave certain positions to be replaced by the more impressionable and easy to convert Ninja. Recently, however, the esteemed editor-in-chief has decided that the vague threats the swamp may or may not have given him will silence him no longer!

A spectre is haunting Atlasia. And we intend to cover it in great detail.

[Wells]

WHY IS LIBERTY LOVER JOINING PUP?

In the past we've seen Doof F. W. Liberty Lover express varying opinions on the same issues, often in rapid succession. Yet this time, Vice President Lover has managed to astound us with an honestly confusing move. Just a few short hours ago, Lover registered under the Progressive Union Party, which quite recently has shown itself not to be very progressive or much of a union, and it probably doesn’t feel like much of a party right now. This move is mystifying since we were very assured that Lover had finally settled on a few things for once. Those core values were: centrism and his own ego. Now he has joined a party that is hopefully not centrist and won't stroke his ego for an unknown reason. We have two theories:

1. He joined it for the reasons he stated. While unlikely, whatever has occurred may be his motivation. On Atlas, he stated that he has “become aware of things.” When pressed to be more specific, he told us private “shady plots!” Other sources told us “it’s complicated.” I’ll say it is.
 
2. Yankee wants more votes. While also unlikely, this one makes sense, because the sheer power of the Federalist/Progressive Union joint ticket that we have in Atlasia now is just too much to handle. The entire swamp is represented in one ticket and I shudder to think of the percent of the vote this could get. 70%? 80%? More? Especially against such a weak ticket as AZ/uhh i forgot. Hopefully someone better announces, but I wouldn’t know who that would be.

As a bonus:

3. He's literally gone insane. The unexpected and baffling decision. The vague and rambling reasoning. Do you have any better ideas?

Either way, let’s hope that PUP isn’t very kind to what is obviously some scheme on the part of the VP of a Federalist administration. They are an opposition party, aren't they?

[Terry the Fat Shark]

I vote # 3

[Pericles]

Yankee was already getting 70-80% of the vote anyway.

/s

[P. Clodius Pulcher did nothing wrong]

Yankee was already getting 70-80% of the vote anyway.

/s

[IceAgeComing]

EXCLUSIVE: BERNARD WULFRIC: Selling METH and HEROIN to your CHILDREN to pay for TERRORIST GANGS

• Revealed: How Wulfric funded Fake News, the Labor Party and TERRORIST GANGS to try to usurp power
• The Terrorist Training Camps funded to RADICALISE young men against Atlasia
• CNNNNNN: the Media Arm of the operation
• Calls for FEDS to intervene to stop indoctrination of children

By ISAAC CUMMINGS; Chief Political Editor: from Shreveport, Louisiana

THE NYMAN QUESTIONER can exclusively reveal a dark, dark secret behind earlier reported drug involvement of failed politician Bernard Wulfric.  He isn't merely a drug addled failed politician who's willing to sell his values down the river for votes: there's a much darker secret hiding behind the facade.

Today we can report that was but a facade; and behind the bumbling exterior is a mass criminal: someone who's behind the biggest drug ring in the South.  More worrying than that is the revelation that the money that he raises goes to fund a serious organisation seeking to overthrow the Atlasian government and organise a fascist state in its place.  Him and his accomplice "Bogan Bogan Murdoch" - the secretive owner of "FAKE News International", the organisation behind failed Tabloid "CNNNNNN", plotted for years in secret on this plan.

Firstly; lets examine the funding behind this plot.  Wulfric is the kingpin behind "AR-15"; a drug smuggling and distribution organisation that is the biggest organisation throughout the South.  Wulfric moved to the South after previous operations were almost captured by the police.  The organisation smuggles drugs from all over the world to America; where it targets CHILDREN, "the younger the better" was the exact orders from Wulfric quote given by a source inside the organisation.  The theory being that by hooking children young; they'll be reliant on their supply and their dealer providing not only significant amounts of money but also a needy, dependent group of recruits.  That money is laundered and funnelled into "Newco 342"; an intentionally obtuse company that holds massive amounts of money but no assets.  However; Drugs isn't the only way that they make their money.

FAKE NEWS has been a scourge in Atlasia and the World recently; with the Rags and mindless television of Fake News International; owned by "Bogan Bogan Murdoch"; a fake Atlasian who's actually Australian.  "CNNNNNN" ran fabricated stories on not totally disrespected politicians seeking to slander them as "murderers" falsely only to get ratings; and the almighty advertising dollar.  Their newspapers used all the tactics in the book to get money; from lewd pictures of women to fake stories of corruption to mindless celebrity gossip; nothing was wrong.  That money was then funnelled through a group of shadowy trusts and organisations to "Newco 342".


Bogan Bogan Murdoch's reaction to seeing a cute puppy

So where does that money go?  Well initially it helped to cover the losses of Murdoch's initially FAILED press organisation until it began to make a small profit.  More recently its gone to support the election campaigns of the Atlasian Labor Party: "its important to destabilise the country" was the reason given by a source.  "If the Federalist Party were the struggling party then we'd back them", said our source; "its about creating at atmosphere where we can provide the stable option".  Our investigation finds that the Atlasia Labor Party were not aware of any of this; and that the remainder of any money found to be from this organisation would be donated to a Nyman Childrens' Hospital.  But the truly worrying aspect of this isn't the attempt to LIE to Atlasians or create chaos in our political system; its the terrorist camps hidden away.

The organisation uses the name "Capitalist-Socialism" to indicate their support for a "third position" between the two (where have we heard THAT before?) and is based out of a network of terrorist camps near Crown Point, Indiana.  Together they plot to overthrow the Atlasian government and replace it with a unitary fascist state based around a cult of personality around only Wulfric.  Religion would be banned; as would any independent organisations; the only forms of organisation would be through the State.  The rhetoric of the organisation is openly Islamophobic and Anti-semitic (although not anti-Christian openly: the need to get support from Christians initially limits that) and they seek radical solutions to the problems of Atlasia; solutions too radical for us to contemplate.  But yet claiming to be "militias" they are protected from Atlasia's lax laws from any real investigation until they actively do anything.  "We've been very careful to not actually break any laws"; said a commander in the Unit: "until the time comes".

Those in this unit aren't all willing volunteers.  Many of them are suckered in my the drugs: told that a way to cover their addictions is to do a little bit of work.  They are then transported miles away from home; have no contact with their loved ones and are trained to fight.  Many in this camp; hidden from view; are many 13-15 year old children who're trained to become killers and brainwashed in Wulfric's evil ideology.  CNNNNNN provides a special news service to these camps designed to aid in the further "political education" of these CHILDREN.  It is the younger ones who are believed to be the ones trained to commit terrorist attacks: the older, fighting age people are seen as more useful.

D.F.W. Liberty-Lover; leader of the "Wulfric is a Socialist" party was appalled to discover the true intentions of Bernard Wulfric's plan.  "We've realised now that he's not a socialist but rather a Corporate Fascist who seeks national domination" said Mr Liberty-Lover.  "We knew that he had connections to the Alliance Airport saga [check Questioners passim] but we didn't realise how involved he was; or exactly what he was using his ill gotten gains for".  The indoctrination of children was a main fear; with the party announcing a policy to fund a national network of children's cult deprogramming centres in response to this incident.  Our questions on whether the party would change its name to "Wulfric is a Terrorist" went unanswered.

Our view: clearly a man wiling to sell Ecstasy and Meth to CHILDREN should be nowhere near any power anyway (and should be locked in a cage like the RABID DOG he is); but to try to murder thousands of people to get power?  Clearly the Federal Government need to research this; and the Southern assembly need to chuck the Failure OUT.

We reached out to Wulfric and Bogan Bogan Murdoch, the owned of Fake News International for responses.  The former admitted that he "might be" in a terrorist organisation; before shouting "NO COMMENT" and assaulting our brave reporter.  The latter made some guttural noises that might have been a language; but he's Australian so we couldn't tell.  Clearly you can't trust a man who cannot speak which is why you can trust the Nyman Questioner; the paper of the people.  A Labor Party spokesperson said that they had "no knowledge" of the source of this secret money and that they planned to spend it all to spread World Socialism.  We asked the Federalist Party for comment; but they were too busy receiving strangely thick brown envelopes to comment.

[Wells]

Yankee was already getting 70-80% of the vote anyway.

Hindsight is 20/20. This sight was 20/100 or something.

[Southern Senator North Carolina Yankee]

Together they plot to overthrow the Atlasian government and replace it with a unitary fascist state based around a cult of personality around only Wulfric. 

THE FASCISTS ARE COMING FOR OUR REGIONS!!!!!!!

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

Together they plot to overthrow the Atlasian government and replace it with a unitary fascist state based around a cult of personality around only Wulfric. 

THE FASCISTS ARE COMING FOR OUR REGIONS!!!!!!!

Deeply Disturbing!

[IceAgeComing]

EXCLUSIVE: Failed politician Kenobi wants YOUR MONEY to escape ALASKAN MAFIA

Ben Kenobi; last known for an embarrassing election loss in the Southern Chamber of Deputies election; vanished from trace after that loss and a few people were wondering where he'd gone.  Well, his mother was!  Most of us normal people don't really care when one of the elitist slimes vanishes; another one often pops up in their place.  His name reemerged when he shockingly was demanding the use of valuable congressional time; not to pursue better legislation; not to do things for the people of Fremont; but instead to ensure that he could evade the law to instead vote and stand in Southern elections.  This has left many wondering why Mr Kenobi would take these sensational steps

The Nyman Questioner can exclusively reveal that Mr Kenobi had moved to Alaska after leaving office; leaving his ex-constituents high and dry.  We can also reveal that Mr Kenobi wasted his entire Chamber pension on useless junk; and had to rely on loan sharks with links to the dangerous Alaskan mafia to carry on his dangerous addiction.  And now he can also confirm that his plans for a moonlight flicht; leaving massive unpaid tax and utility bills behind and reliant on his egotistical demands that the Congress suspend the law to allow him to escape his obligations.

The investigators who vacated his filthy, dangerous Alaskan property found thousands of boxes of junk; ranging from collections of unsorted common trading card games; fifty-seven broken sodastreams, 100kgs of unwashed old food tins, and hidden in the middle of his mess the bones of what looks like a small dog.  Also laid out were demands for significant sums of money; up to $300,000 from both legitimate banks, the mafia, other small assorted loan sharks, the power company, the State Government and most shockingly the lovely old lady from next door who'd been doing Mr Kenobi's laundry.

Karen Kenobi, Mr Kenobi's now ex-wife spoke to the Questioner and told us a sad story of spending far too much money on old antiques and other useless junk.  "It was a massive strain on the relationship; I could barely move around the house!  I'd have taken him going to prostitutes any day over collecting a hundred boxes of valueless yuh-gi-oh cards!  The fact that he's left massive bills and demands government protection from those isn't surprising; he does have a rather large ego".

Anchorage Mayor Peter Smallbone said that he planned to take civil action against Mr Kenobi for non-payment of property tax on his Alaskan mansion.  We contacted Mr Kenobi's office; but the phone had been taken off the hook due to non payment.  It is our understanding that the Atlasian Association for the Protection of Animals are investigating the case of the dog, and that charges of animal endangerment will be brought against Mr Kenobi in the Fremont court system soon.

OPINION: Mr Kenobi claims to be anti-establishment; to value choice and small government and yet he will seek to use the power of government to get his way when if you asked to do the same thing he'd laugh in your face.  Luckily, the Nyman Questioner, the only truly Independent media in all Atlasia is here to report the true facts that the establishment don't want you to know!