The Comedy Goldmine(ONLY FUNNY ATLAS POSTS ALLOWED, NO BRTD ALLOWED)

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Ironically, f****t equates to firewood in Britain.

Sort of; more bits of firewood tied together. Term not used so much now. f****t is also a sort of English Haggis.

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Oh, a drunk Kennedy.  Some things transcend national boundaries. 

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Happy Sheila Jackson Lee Day everyone

That's the one holiday I can't even think of existing.

Do we get to remember her speeches in front of the House where she uses words that she doesn't know the meaning of?

For both the posts in the quote

[Filuwaúrdjan]

My guess is of the demographics you named, a Jew or Hispanic would be easiest to win.  Unless he's one who wears it out on his sleeve:  "Hey my name's Schlomo Martinez, and my running mate Gonzalo Rabinowitz and I want to remove all border security between here and Mexico, let 'em take the jobs that you don't want anyway.  And then I want to use the money we save in that way to buy nukes to give to Israel."  Then you might have a problem getting elected.

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For some reason I found this line funny:

with all due respect, you're a nutcase

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Doesn’t maturity require the examination and comparison of facts?:

Islam:  I would not have heard of al-Zarqawi if it weren’t for people like you pointing him out.  I have no contact or association with al-Zarqawi.  He has zero influence over me.

Christianity: The populous is supported by churches which, in turn, indoctrinate the populous into hatred. Their societies are not integrated, nor are they tolerant of other religions.  Their societies are corrupt from top to bottom, and as such, as lost in a constant state of poverty.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Of course it's a sacred ritual.  It goes like this:

1. Man has sex with child.
2. Man gets caught.
3. Man goes to jail (or gets disrobed by the Vatican; delete as appropriate).
4. Man gets murdered by vigilantes.

It's a wonderful cycle of life.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Let's see.

1. Some random college student running because he likes strip clubs.

2. An accomplished, well-liked mayor who has revealed that this crack down is in part due to apparent mob connections that the strip clubs have, and law abuses on their parts.

Hmm.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Given that there are blacks, jews, amerindians, and now women as members, I doubt you can legitimately call it a country club.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Internal poll.

Kinda depressing when your own internal poll can't show you getting more than 20% of the vote.

and...

It looks like Friedman is going off the cliff, he isn't even in 3 rd place.

Gee, why would a Chris Bell poll, run by Chris Bell, for Chris Bell, show the person who is most sucking votes away from Chris Bell, who conudted this poll for Chris Bell, doing poorly?

Chris Bell cannot fathom how the poll Chris Bell ran for the Chris Bell campaign to bolster Chris Bell supporters would show bad news for the person most hurting Chris Bell.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Not sure if funny is the right word for this...

Lee Harvey Oswald (or whoever) saved America from going down a path that would have lead to a communist takeover.

This settles it IMO; this guy is a total kook.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Not sure if funny is the right word for this...

Lee Harvey Oswald (or whoever) saved America from going down a path that would have lead to a communist takeover.

This settles it IMO; this guy is a total kook.

Kook is a bad word, I simply think Kennedy was an awful president and would have done a lot of harm

Thinking that someone was an awful President (and, Cuban Missile Crisis aside, I'm no fan Kennedy) is not the same as being happy about, nay, gloating over, their unpleasant death.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Deano is to OH what Conan is to NJ,
a misguided, overly-optimistic, fact falsifying fool

Bob Taft possess a lot of these qualities, so I vote Republican

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Bono's reaction the the re-formation of the UAC:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Begone, ye demon of the void. BEGONE!

THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU!

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Vote for HOMELESS NAZI GUY, with the platform everyone can agree on:

- what the hell do i write here
- i want some GODDAMN SHOES
- why do the black men do heroin
- alcohol is much cheaper
- goddamn ns
- we need to ban math and corner stores so the chinese stop being good at something

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I'll take Warner in the No. 1 or 2 slot.

You pervert.

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And the New York GOP continues its slow and plodding march into the East River.

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Not really funny as such... but apparent evidence of someone seeking to become a sad self-parody...

Hollywood is mostly made up of Jews.

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Oh lord, why did I have to Google that?

Fortunately, it was just chest up...but...why.

Now he's going to join Pete Sessions in my recurring nightmares.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Randy White

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I hope this puts to the rest the rumors from a few months ago that I was PBrunsel

People thought you were PBrunsel?

On behalf of everyone, I apologize to PBrunsel for such an insult.

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Someone likes decapitations, eh?

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Call me crazy but....

I have.  Repeatedly.

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I like my fiancee cold, and with whipped cream and chocolate syrup thank you very much!

I think I know what you're doing with the whipped cream... but the chocolate syrup has me beat. Please enlighten me as to your sexual practices.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Perhaps this was too easy