What will you do after the Rapture?

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Well, I will certainly do my best to repent during that time.  I'm not so confident that I would be worthy of being one of those taken.

um, I thought Catholics don't believe in this nonsense. Only Southern Baptists, Pentecostals and a few more looney out there groups like the Jehova's Witnesses and Seventh Day Adventists.

But if I and all other mainstream Christians turn out to be wrong and I'm still here, I guess I'll change. But I personally think the odds of this are about the same as me never receiving another lap dance ever again.

You know what would be funny? If I was getting a lapdance, then it happens, and then the stripper disappears!

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Only about three of you actually answered the question.  I'd still like answers from the rest of you.

A bit more background: the people that will disappear are the true Christians (which only God knows who they are).  One day, in a moment, they will disappear, and there will be tribulation after that.  And yes, I do not believe all Catholics will disappear, just like I don't believe all Protestants will disappear.  But I believe it like it is in the Left Behind books (from what I've read... I only read two so far.)

As a scientist on Earth, I'd be too fascinated by the quantum mechanistic underpinnings of the tribulations to worry much about my impending eternity in the Lake of Fire.

I have a question: what, exactly do the Elect do in heaven once they get there? Part of the joy in living (such as it is) comes from the discovery of some unknown natural truth; if all truths are immediately apparent in heaven, then what?

There is no elect.  A short timeline:

First the rapture, where all the true Christians that know Jesus Christ as their Savior will go to Heaven.  In Heaven, they will appear before Jesus to be awarded for their services.

On Earth, the next 7 years will be rather bad.  The Antichrist (a Jew) will rise and make a deal with Israel.  They will see him as the coming Messiah, promised in Genesis 3:15.  Peace will reign in Israel for the next few months.  After 3 1/2 years, the Antichrist will break his treaty, and rise up against Israel, intent to destroy them.  The kings from the north, south, and east will join him.  (Russia, the Arabs, and the Chinese)  It will all come down to a grand finale called Armageddon at the end of 7 years, where Jesus will return with those raptured and descend into Jerusalem and personally defend Israel.  They will see their mistake and call him the one true Messiah.

The 7 years will also have many events that will kill 2/3 of all of earth's population.

After Armageddon, there will be 1,000 years of peace.  Satan will be bound.  To the end of that period, he will be unleashed one last time.  After his destruction, he, the Antichrist, and the false prophet will be cast into hell.  The rest of mankind will be judged by God Himself on the White Throne.  Those whose name are in the Book of Life will enter Heaven.  The rest will go to Hell.


Now: some advice.  No matter how ridiculous you think this stuff is, just remember this.  You may not believe it, but if it actually happens, remember this thread and the advice.  Do NOT take the number.  You will be offered the choice to join the Antichrist, or to join Jesus.  You will be given a choice: take the number of man on your hand or your forehead, or be executed.  You have to choose the latter.  You will be saved.

newflash: the Left Behind books are FICTION.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

And if one is going to make an idiotic claim like "only 144,000 will be 'elected'", I like to prove to them that they are morons.

Do you believe in the rapture sir?

No, assuming that that is what Revelations is about (doubtful) it doesn't even happen in the Bible, the same way that Protestants champion.

most Protestants do NOT believe in the rapture. I haven't met a single mainstream one who does. It's just something that some fundies and some nutty offshoots like Jehova's Witnesses and Seventh Day Adventists believe in.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

And if one is going to make an idiotic claim like "only 144,000 will be 'elected'", I like to prove to them that they are morons.

Do you believe in the rapture sir?

No, assuming that that is what Revelations is about (doubtful) it doesn't even happen in the Bible, the same way that Protestants champion.

most Protestants do NOT believe in the rapture. I haven't met a single mainstream one who does.

You need to get out more.

see quote

most Protestants do NOT believe in the rapture. I haven't met a single mainstream one who does.

I don't hang out with evangelicals and fundies of course.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I simply don't believe in the Protestant version of the "End of Times".

DAMMIT! It's the Evangelical or Fundamentalist version fo the "End Times"! Do you honestly think most mainstream Protestants believe in this garbage? Are you aware that the Missouri Lutheran Synod (which is a FAR more conservative branch of Lutheranism than mine) actually condemned those books?

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I simply don't believe in the Protestant version of the "End of Times".

DAMMIT! It's the Evangelical or Fundamentalist version fo the "End Times"! Do you honestly think most mainstream Protestants believe in this garbage? Are you aware that the Missouri Lutheran Synod (which is a FAR more conservative branch of Lutheranism than mine) actually condemned those books?

Yes, I do.  The problem is that you define main stream Protestantism based on what your Church does.  I define mainstream Protestantism by the fact that there Church out-wieghs yours in membership probably about 50-1.

whose church outweighs mine by that number?

But it's not just the Evangelical Lutheran church that rejects this crap. Do you honestly think every other Protestant denomination except mine believes in this Rapture nonsense? Go look up National Council of Churches. THAT'S mainstream Protestant. And mainstream Protesant is defined as a Protestant denomination that's NOT evangelical or fundamentalist.

You also didn't reply to the point about the Missouri Lutheran Synod.

The fact is, this is something that only Evangelical and Fundamentalist Protestants believe in, not all Protestants, and thus saying it's a Protestant view is just as innacurrate as saying it's a Christian view implying that all Christians believe this. Quit with your anti-Protestant bigotry.*

*No, I don't think such a thing exists but you whine about anti-Catholic bigotry and about how being Catholic means you're a persecuted minority and far less in the mainstream than me, and of course I think anti-Catholic bigotry is a non-existant load of crap, I'm just making a point.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Bono I see you are bringing up more of that Calvinist T.U.L.I.P. garbage again.

The only modern day "preacher" I can think of who advocates that crap is Fred Phelps.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Bono I see you are bringing up more of that Calvinist T.U.L.I.P. garbage again.

The only modern day "preacher" I can think of who advocates that crap is Fred Phelps.

The Calvinist Church advocates it.

There is no "Calvinist Church". Presbyterianism supposedly contains it, but PCUSA is a very mainline denomination that doesn't talk about it at all.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I simply don't believe in the Protestant version of the "End of Times".

DAMMIT! It's the Evangelical or Fundamentalist version fo the "End Times"! Do you honestly think most mainstream Protestants believe in this garbage? Are you aware that the Missouri Lutheran Synod (which is a FAR more conservative branch of Lutheranism than mine) actually condemned those books?

Yes, I do.  The problem is that you define main stream Protestantism based on what your Church does.  I define mainstream Protestantism by the fact that there Church out-wieghs yours in membership probably about 50-1.

whose church outweighs mine by that number?

But it's not just the Evangelical Lutheran church that rejects this crap. Do you honestly think every other Protestant denomination except mine believes in this Rapture nonsense? Go look up National Council of Churches. THAT'S mainstream Protestant. And mainstream Protesant is defined as a Protestant denomination that's NOT evangelical or fundamentalist.

You also didn't reply to the point about the Missouri Lutheran Synod.

The fact is, this is something that only Evangelical and Fundamentalist Protestants believe in, not all Protestants, and thus saying it's a Protestant view is just as innacurrate as saying it's a Christian view implying that all Christians believe this. Quit with your anti-Protestant bigotry.*

*No, I don't think such a thing exists but you whine about anti-Catholic bigotry and about how being Catholic means you're a persecuted minority and far less in the mainstream than me, and of course I think anti-Catholic bigotry is a non-existant load of crap, I'm just making a point.

Look at the number of people who attend Lutheran and Episcapal churches vs. the numbers of people who attend Methodist, Presbyterian, Baptist, Christian Missionary Alliance and other Protestant Churches, where these teachings are common.  The number who attend Episcapalian and Lutheran Churches are going way down, mostly because the conservatives are leaving and the liberals aren't going.  Meanwhile, the people who are picking up membership numbers are all the churches a mentioned in the later group.

except there are mainstream Presbyterian and even Baptist churches as well. Look up all the members of the National Council of Churches.

The point is, most non-Evangelical or Fundamentalists Protestants do NOT believe in this Rapture garbage. You seem unwilling to admit that. Now you appear to be implying the only Protestants that don't are Lutherans and Episcopalians.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

ha, Methodists are definately not Calvinists, and neither are most Baptists (in fact the only Baptist "church" I can think of that is is Westboro Baptist "Church")

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

ah, more Protestant stereotyping, my church's view on this end times stuff is much closer to the catholic one than the fundies, and the Bible even says no one would be able to predict or know when the end of the world comes, meaning the fundies who scream that the end is near are actually committing heresy.

I once read a good essay from a Biblical scholar arguing that the book of Revelations has already happened, it's a description of WWII and that Hitler was the Antichrist. I wish I could find it somewhere, it's a good read.

Whatever the case soulty likes to call me ignorant of Catholicism, but the simple fact that he has claimed that Lutherans and Episcopalians are the only Protestants who don't beleive in the Rapture garbage and that Methodists are Calvinists is proof that he is far more ignorant of Protestatism. That and his constant insistance that almost all Protestants don't consider Catholics Christian.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Old English really isnt that hard to understand.

Yes it is. Here's a sampling. Can you translate this?

oretmecgas æfter æþelum frægn:
"Hwanon ferigeað ge fætte scyldas,
græge syrcan ond grimhelmas,
heresceafta heap? Ic eom Hroðgares
ar ond ombiht. Ne seah ic elþeodige
þus manige men modiglicran,
Wen ic þæt ge for wlenco, nalles for wræcsiðum,
ac for higeþrymmum Hroðgar sohton."

It barely resembles Modern English at all, and is actually closer to Icelandic than another other modern language.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Old English really isnt that hard to understand.

Actually, all Bibles written like the King James Version are written in Middle English;

No, this is another misconception. They are written in Early Modern English. Middle English is the Canterbury Tales.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Old English really isnt that hard to understand.

Yes it is. Here's a sampling. Can you translate this?

oretmecgas æfter æþelum frægn:
"Hwanon ferigeað ge fætte scyldas,
græge syrcan ond grimhelmas,
heresceafta heap? Ic eom Hroðgares
ar ond ombiht. Ne seah ic elþeodige
þus manige men modiglicran,
Wen ic þæt ge for wlenco, nalles for wræcsiðum,
ac for higeþrymmum Hroðgar sohton."

It barely resembles Modern English at all, and is actually closer to Icelandic than another other modern language.

is that from Beowulf? I think I recognize 'Hrothgar'/ Hroðgar' from somwhere...

Yes. Beowulf is the only Old English writing piece that still exists in its entirety.