Comedy Goldmine XI: The Atlas Forum Demilitarized Zone

[Keystone Phil]

there is a map of Oklahoma next to the word "Benighted" in the dictionary

I like Sensei and all but his post only belongs here because it is hilariously similar to jabs thrown by a third grader. 

[Keystone Phil]

Einzige, I won't bother to continue to respond after this.

It's funny because it's probably not true.

Yeah, you're right. His comments are too precious to ignore. Like this charming description...

I'm blatantly pointing out the holes in your un-logic, you bleeding twat.

And I'm going to keep throwing them in until you stop deserving them and your balls drop.

[Keystone Phil]

The idea that he would ever have the chance to control himself is hilarious.

[Keystone Phil]

I doubt Hitler's approval ratings were ever as high as Obama's. The most the Nazi Party ever got was like 44%.

I hope he wasn't being serious.

[Keystone Phil]

Ok, this thread is officially back with this one...

Inks on John Ensign...

I could do him - and he's actually pretty good looking.

[Keystone Phil]

I define "white" as caucasian.  I do not consider Arabs, Jews, Persians, or my Lebanese wife to be "white", otherwise I wouldn't have married her.

hehe...

Your wife is Lebanese?!  Why would you have married her in the first place if she isn't even into guys in the first place?

dude, after our wedding night, she forgot all about her Lebanese past.

LOL

Why do people do that? My freshman year theology teacher (a priest) did the same and I remember actually correcting him. I think he continued to do it for laughs though.

[Keystone Phil]

I just wish Keystone Phil would stop starting argume...oh. Nevermind (this time).

[Keystone Phil]

HAGEL - I FREAKING LOVE CHUCK HAGEL!

Only funny because I don't know that anyone else "freaking loves" Chuck Hagel. 

[Keystone Phil]

This isn't the first time he's done it but it never gets old...

but one thing I've noticed is some blacks I've come across act like now that Obama's president, they can afford to be a bit more cocky, entitled, and black guys are getting more aggressive with white women at clubs.  Myself and other union Dems I know have noticed this and there are people I know who aren't happy with it.

[Keystone Phil]

The most alcohol I've consumed is the accidental mouthwash swallow.

Not laughing at the fact that he doesn't drink, of course, but this is just too funny.

[Keystone Phil]

There's a difference between actual centrism and moderate heroism. Don is arguing in favor of the latter.

Yeah, it's hilarious. Check out his Facebook page sometime. Interesting how he isn't the same as he claims to be here...

I love that Don wants to portray someone like myself as only seeing the world in black and white when I really do struggle with the complexities of the world/political issues.

[Keystone Phil]

(May 10th - Rick Santorum's Birthday )

The World Cup starts June 11th. What if waiting until May 10th means an election during the first week of the World Cup?

Early May - Graduation
Mid May - PA primary

The above are the only factors that Brown should consider when selecting the election date.

[Keystone Phil]

That is all - please resume normal comedy...

Be patient.

[Keystone Phil]

Punctuation problems?

There's a difference among rap. All sounds the same to me?

[Keystone Phil]

Some might call that type of compilation obsessive.

Yeah because it is. You're clearly missing the joke - Carl infamously compiled a bunch of posts from MODU, I believe, and typed up this huge, random rant. It was really weird.

As for Joe finding a bunch of J.J.'s deluge comments, it really wasn't obsessive since J.J. was constantly saying it and there was no need for digging.

[Keystone Phil]

Hilariously wrong. Just...hilarious...

The US doesn't have official diplomatic relations with any Protestant leader, or Muslim or Buddhist or any other religious institutions for that matter either.

Uh...do any of those leaders have an independent state set up to even be recognized?

No, but the Vatican is barely a state either. It has less population and about as much area as my neighborhood. Should my neighborhood be an independent state? Should the city of Minneapolis (WAY more people than the Vatican) have diplomatic relations with foreign countries?

I wonder if this kid knows how horrible he is when it comes to logic.

[Keystone Phil]

And a tossed salad.  I don't cook and the Mrs. was pressed for time.

[Keystone Phil]

Reminds me of his unbeatable argument when I said he didn't live in the South and he responded with "Yes, I do."

Which is kind of what you do.

Maybe you two aren't as different as you think.

[Keystone Phil]

Reminds me of his unbeatable argument when I said he didn't live in the South and he responded with "Yes, I do."

Which is kind of what you do.

Maybe you two aren't as different as you think.

Uh, no. I at least make arguments, you may find them weak, but I make them.

Uh huh. And your argument is typically, "...because I say so."

[Keystone Phil]

Sometimes as disturbing and wrong as it is, I wonder if BRTD actually likes Ben.

Of course he does! BRTD loves everyone he gets to pick on. Imagine if they weren't here.

Plus, they're going to love each other a lot when they refuse to back Terry for Governor of Virginia.

[Keystone Phil]

So if I understand correctly, what looked to be a small skirmish between Ben and BRTD was then joined by Phil for some inexplicable reason? And now it seems like this Comedy Goldmine will, yet again, fall victim to Phil's uncontrollable flame wars.

This needs to end now.

Always my fault. That excuse needs to end now. Thanks.

[Keystone Phil]

Does Sept 11 happen under Gore?

That's funny how, exactly? It's a legit question in my opinion.

I think he posted it so we'd understand why his second post was funny.

[Keystone Phil]

Fats are disgusting.  (Not the ones who have theyroid probs. or who are taking some treatments like radiation that make them bloated-- I think that is a good exuse for being a fatass.  No other though)

Fats cost us billions in health care.

They take up way too much space on planes and busses but pay only the same as one person.

They are ugly to look at.

A lot of them smell horrible because most fats either don't wash or can't reach around all the flab.

And if you need them in an emergency, they can't help.  In a war they are excempt from service.  In a local crisis (like lets say you need them to call 9-1-1 in a hurry) they lose valuable time because it takes forever to waddle thier fat asses to the phone.

And have you noticed how many welfare thiefs and baby mommas are fats?  OMG -- and the liberals have the ballz to talk about "helping the hungry".  What a complete joke.

GET YOUR DAMN STOMACHS STAPLED YOU UGLY LOSERS AND STOP WHINING.

[Keystone Phil]

Click for context...

I am basically a social conservative maybe a little more to the left of the republican party though.

[Keystone Phil]

Adam Lambert is very flamboyant. In fact, in the next "Rolling Stone", he is supposed to announce he's gay. He wear's guy liner. He doesn't seem like someone who would be "religious". As I was looking on his Wikipedia, I read that, which was interesting, since I never would have guessed it. I don't get what the purpose of this is. Jewish people are amazing. Israel is amazing, and I support Israel 110%. But, I'm not Jewish.