To what extent would you personally be willing to date / marry a partner from a different religion?

[T'Chenka]

Much like the first thread (race, not religion), I though this might be an interesting topic.

Some questions that I pose to you :

- If you aren't thinking as far as marriage, would you view casually dating in a very different way to a serious long-term relationship? Or do you consider long-term implications for anybody that you begin dating casually?

- If you and your potential partner aren't planning on having any children together, does that change your outlook on this and your priorities at all? How much would it change your priorities exactly?

- If you ARE planning to have children, would you contemplate simply raising your children under both religions and letting them kind of just figure out religion for themselves, long term? Or perhaps maybe you would be willing to marry somebody from a different religion, so long as they're willing to raise your children together under your religion?

(copy paste from other thread : )
To what extent would you personally be willing to date and/or marry a partner from a different racial group? Are you currently involved in an interracial relationship or marriage? Do you have some theories or ideas about what implications this practice might have? On balance, is it more helpful than harmful, or more harmful than helpful? Feel free to discuss.

[Crumpets]

I'm irreligious and like to think I'm basically a "universal receiver" as far as religion in relationships goes. As long as they're not in a cult or explicitly trying to convert me, I'd be happy both with dating someone of pretty much any religious background and raising children under any religion they want (as long as they're also cool with teaching them critical thinking). And unlike the racial question where I don't really have any meaningful experience dating interracially, the last girl I went on multiple dates with was Jewish, so voted "safe willing."

[Blow by blow, the passion dies]

Any religion that isn't UCKG, Hinduism, Scientology, the Nation of Islam or Pastafarianism.

[Kamala's side hoe]

I subconsciously fantasize about what it would be like to be with dating app matches for the long term, regardless of how compatible we are with each other, or even if I only see them as a potential one night stand. Wanting to have kids someday has definitely been a dealbreaker for prospective partners.

Last person I went on a date with admitted to preferring Dharmic partners over Abrahamic due to how interfaith children would need to be raised in the Abrahamic parent’s faith; this kind of gets at why I’m somewhat less reluctant to date Buddhists or Hindus than (observant) Christians, Muslims, or Jews. My biggest gripes about dating a devoutly religious person would probably involve guilt over having to fake belief for the sake of nominal conversion and possibly lifestyle restrictions (not just abstaining from premarital sex!) Especially since I feel like not already being a believer would be a turnoff for a lot of devout women out there.

[VBM]

Depends on how preachy they are

[Ferguson97]

I'd prefer to date someone irreligious, but I would be fine dating someone of any religion so long as they're denomination/sect is broadly liberal and they're not too devout.

[the artist formerly known as catmusic]

It would take a lot for me to be with anyone who was religious at all. Almost certainly wouldn't do it.

[OSR stands with Israel]

Almost certainly no

[Fuzzy Bear Loves Christian Missionaries]

No.

2 Corinthians 6:14-18 KJV

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore Come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, And touch not the unclean thing; And I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, And ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

Just imagine your relationship with God being the most important thing in your life and not being able to share that with your spouse.  Just imagine being married to someone who did not share your views on who God is, and what His Plan for Salvation is, knowing that your spouse's Eternity with God was not assured.  Just imagine your Spouse telling your kids a way to get to Heaven different than one the Bible states, and asserting it to be just as valid as Scripture.

For a Christian, that ought to be unacceptable.  It's certainly a recipe for strife and unhappiness.  Things can happen to people's thinking going forward, but Christians are commanded to not marry someone who is not a Believer.  On a practical level, I've been a regular churchgoer for the last 28 years, and I've always been a member of the church I attend, and I can assure you that some of the unhappiest and most frustrated people I know are Christians who married an unbeliever KNOWING that they did not believe. 

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

Safe unwilling, but it would be nullified as an issue if they converted to my religion.

[Хahar 🤔]

nope

[Mr. Smith]

Easily.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

If their religious beliefs don't seem like they would cause serious conflict I'd be safe willing. I'd definitely prefer a vegan partner though.

[Crumpets]

I'm kind of surprised how meaningful a religious connection is to users of the Secular Blog. Guess it's just one of those things that is a bit of a bubble in my life.

Like, I remember when a friend of mine from Seattle was spending a summer in Texas and had a guy call things off between them when he found out she was half Jewish and she celebrates both Christian and Jewish holidays. We had never heard of something like that being a dealbreaker, and thought he was being totally ridiculous, but that's very much a godless PNW perspective, I suppose.

I do have a question for those who are strongly against - would your opinion change at all if the person was of a different religion/non-religious but was open to raising children in your religion?

[100% pro-life no matter what]

Absolutely not.  I view marriage as a covenant between a Christian man and woman before God.  We are to be each other's biggest encouragers in our walks with Christ.  If she isn't on the same page about that, I want nothing to do with dating her.

[Хahar 🤔]

I do have a question for those who are strongly against - would your opinion change at all if the person was of a different religion/non-religious but was open to raising children in your religion?

No. This is the consideration next to which all other considerations are irrelevant.

[Continential]

I am agnostic - so I would be fine being in a relationship with people of another religion and even converting if that’s what they wish as long as I largely agree with the tenants of said religion/denomination.

[°Leprechaun]

What a crazy thread.

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

I’m a Reform Jew engaged to an agnostic from an otherwise entirely Irish Catholic family.  Wonderful people

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I'd prefer to date someone irreligious, but I would be fine dating someone of any religion so long as they're denomination/sect is broadly liberal and they're not too devout.

Would you be willing to marry a hipster Christian then? Because imagine that she's basically all liberal all the time but definitely "devout", like her social media posts are full of posts about how terrible Trump/Republicans are but also lots of Bible verses and devotional things and Christian memes and she probably has a cross/Jesus fish tattoo somewhere and she listens to a Christian/Christian-adjacent hardcore and emo music.

[The Arizonan]

I’d be completely willing to date someone from a different religion as long as they are secular. Man, I hate religion in general.

[TML]

If the individual I date isn't already a Christian, she must indicate a willingness to convert to Christianity before I can consider dating her; those who indicate an unwillingness to convert will be eliminated on the spot. I won't force people to convert on the spot; I'll instead let them accept the religion after become sufficiently acquainted with it. I also have another caveat in that I will withhold any engagement announcement until after my date gets baptized.

[Kuumo]

Unlike with racial backgrounds, different religious beliefs are often indicative of starkly different values (and I don't just mean this as a euphemism for political views). Thus, a potential partner being religious would make it much less likely for a romantic relationship to work out, especially with children potentially involved, so I would be Likely Unwilling.

I do have a question for those who are strongly against - would your opinion change at all if the person was of a different religion/non-religious but was open to raising children in your religion?

I would not convert to my partner's religion, and we would have to agree to either not have children or raise any children with equal exposure to both of our beliefs.

In practice, most religious women would categorically refuse to date me so this would be unlikely to be an issue. The ones left would probably be mostly lapsed Catholics, non-practicing Jews, etc. whose everyday lives would be similar to mine outside of major holidays, weddings, and funerals.

[Fuzzy Bear Loves Christian Missionaries]

I'm kind of surprised how meaningful a religious connection is to users of the Secular Blog. Guess it's just one of those things that is a bit of a bubble in my life.

Like, I remember when a friend of mine from Seattle was spending a summer in Texas and had a guy call things off between them when he found out she was half Jewish and she celebrates both Christian and Jewish holidays. We had never heard of something like that being a dealbreaker, and thought he was being totally ridiculous, but that's very much a godless PNW perspective, I suppose.

I do have a question for those who are strongly against - would your opinion change at all if the person was of a different religion/non-religious but was open to raising children in your religion?

It would not change my mind, both because of the specific instruction of Scripture and the fact that marriage is a COVENANT relationship.  I emphasize "covenant" because it's not just a mere contract; it's two (2) people literally becoming one. 

I would never agree to allow a child to be raised as anything other than an Evangleical Christian, so I would never marry anyone who would be an obstacle to that.  Such arrangements have the outward appearance of "tolerance" and "openness", but they produce spiritual confusion and incoherence.  Jesus Christ cannot be whom He says He is in Scripture AND be who Jews believe He is (or be who Muslims say he is, or be who Hindus say he is).  Indeed, Jesus Christ cannot be who Evangelical Christians say He is and who Mormons say He is, or who Jehovah's Witnesses say He is, or who Christian Science folks say He is.  To try to split the difference produces incoherence and to expose equally to both provides confusion.  And Scripture states expolicitly that God is not the author of confusion. 

Whatever positives or negatives we have as parents, we have tried our best to (A) provide our sons with a coherent spiritual worldview and (B) be as good examples of adherence to the Word of the Author of the Worldview as can be. 

[Joe Republic]

The parents of one of my best friends in high school had a fascinating agreement between them.  The mom was Catholic and the dad was Protestant (I don't recall which denomination), and agreed before having kids that any boys they had would be raised in the same Protestant denomination and any girls would be raised Catholic.  In the event, they had two girls (one of which was my friend), and thus both girls were raised Catholic.

I guess I never thought too hard about how that would function in a practical sense, because I believe it's all a bit silly.  Rather like, "if we have a boy we'll raise him as a Star Trek fan, but if we have a girl she'll be raised as a Star Wars fan instead."  As a family they all seemed to make it work; those parents are still happily married after 40 or so years.

As for me, I'm obviously irreligious (I've always liked the term 'apatheist'), but my wife is nominally Catholic.  When our kids were born, she and her mom did a little baptism ceremony without me, which was fine.

Lastly, the hardline dogma from some of the posters in this thread (who aren't all Christian!) serves a reminder for me why I just can't imagine living a life like that.