Do you believe people should be forced to remain married against their will?
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March 28, 2024, 07:28:49 PM
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  Do you believe people should be forced to remain married against their will?
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Poll
Question: Should a married couple be force to remain together, even if one or both parties want to end the marriage?
#1
I support forced marriage (D).
 
#2
I oppose forced marriage (D).
 
#3
I support forced marriage (R).
 
#4
I oppose forced marriage (R).
 
#5
I support forced marriage (I/O).
 
#6
I oppose forced marriage (I/O).
 
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Partisan results

Total Voters: 56

Author Topic: Do you believe people should be forced to remain married against their will?  (Read 1595 times)
Del Tachi
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« Reply #50 on: August 07, 2022, 09:28:47 AM »

Decades of research have shown that divorce negatively affects children.  I'm sorry if this is inconvenient for your "live and let live" sexual ethic.

If you're so concerned with the negative impacts on children, then why would you allow divorce in the case of cheating? You've said that infidelity is sufficient grounds for a divorce, so why is that an acceptable reason to allow these negative effects to take place, but not merely falling out of love?

You say it yourself.  Adultery is a violation of the oath of marriage, whereas "merely" falling out of love isn't.  An act of infidelity voids the marriage contract; shifting feelings do not.  That being said, there are plenty of couples who reconstitute and recommit their marriages in the aftermath of adultery (many do so exactly for the sake of their children.)  Why is the same too much to ask for married couples who have simply lost feels?     

Quote
Taking a stand that the option for no-fault divorce is necessary for "the right to have or not have relationships/marriages" is bizarre.  I'll ask again - were people not allowed to freely marry in New York State prior to 2010?  or the UK before 2020?  or in most U.S. states and Western countries prior to the most recent 20-30 years?

No, they were not.

This is a patently ridiculous thing to believe.
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DaleCooper
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« Reply #51 on: August 07, 2022, 09:59:02 AM »

No-fault divorce with kids involved is narcissistic hedonism. Make parents demonstrate good cause or wait until the kids are grown up.

Kids are gonna realize if their parents are unhappy and don't really want to be together.  That situation is not going to make them happy.  

How can this be true when all of the social science literature suggests kids from divorced/single-parent households have much worse outcomes than kids with married parents?  Marriage offers a whole suite of advantages to families for which state policy can never be a perfect substitute

You're never going to get the anti-family crowd to acknowledge the selfishness of no-fault divorce. Most people these days are all-in on the idea that "growing apart" is a fair reason for destroying a family and forcing children to adjust to life in a broken home while navigating the already difficult experience of growing up.

You and DT don't seem to grasp that just because you believe something is morally wrong doesn't necessarily mean you have a moral right to use the law to force that belief on others.  

I grasp it just fine. Do what you want, and god knows there are worse ways to f- with a kid's life. I just want people to stop pretending that breaking up a family so that mom and dad can improve their romantic lives is a noble and victimless decision.
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Former President tack50
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« Reply #52 on: August 09, 2022, 07:01:16 AM »

Marriage is a lifelong contract between a man, a woman, and God.  So, yes, I oppose all no-fault divorce.  No-fault divorce threatens the sanctity of marriage as much as any of the more hotly debated issues.

So you don't believe in the existence of secular marriages? Huh
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Ferguson97
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« Reply #53 on: August 09, 2022, 08:06:13 AM »

The "what about the negative impacts on the child" argument is the dumbest possible defense of the conservative position here, because it ignores that the effects of divorce go beyond ending the legal union between the parents.

If a couple is truly dead set on ending their relationship, then they're going to stop having a relationship, regardless of their technical legal situation. You can't force a couple to live together or be civil to one another, and I'd imagine that those are among the primary reasons why children of divorce have worse outcomes.

So unless you plan on banning separations as well... find a new argument.
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DaleCooper
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« Reply #54 on: August 11, 2022, 03:38:26 PM »
« Edited: August 11, 2022, 03:45:09 PM by DaleCooper »

A lot of the pro-divorce people seem like they're trying to rationalize or justify their own experiences. Look, my parents divorced because they just couldn't get along. They're not bad people, I still love them, I'm not bitter or angry, but I'm not going to pretend that it didn't make life demonstrably worse for me and the other kids than it would've been if they'd have just been adults and made it work for a few more years. That's all I'm saying. I don't want the state to force people to be stellar parents. I just want society to stop pretending that breaking up a family because mom and/or dad want to give up is an innocent & respectable decision that is in any way motivated by what's best for the kids. No-fault divorce with minor children involved is an anti-family, anti-child action that statistically leads to negative outcomes for children. That's reality, so deal with it. Do what you want, but own your decision and respect the fact that it has consequences for other people.

As for Ferguson's comment about separation, if one parent leaves the family that would be abandonment which would be grounds for a divorce, lol. That actually works pretty well in my opinion because I think that the one who initiates a no-fault divorce (when children are present) should forfeit most of their rights to custody and community property. That alone would resolve a lot of these issues, I think.

Quick edit here: Also, liberals are way too obsessed with the ethereal sensation of "happiness". Every family is weird and awkward in its own ways. Kids don't need parents who are lovey-dovey and happy. They need stability and support from people they can trust. Parents don't have to be in love like a Disney prince and princess for that to happen. There are plenty of moms and step-dads (and vice versa) who are deeply in love, but that doesn't change that the kids are broken up, spending time split between different homes without stability and only getting 50% (if they're lucky) of each parents' attention while also dealing with new schools and new step-siblings in some cases. Some comical love story between parent and step-parent doesn't change that dysfunction. Again, this is about individual selfishness at the expense of children, plain and simple.
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