Re: An update on the life of your in-house Reverend :) 2

[Lunar]

I feel like this is a pretty good metaphor for this life path.  Note that the train never actually gets very far.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

OK I have one comment. I find that the fiancee giving the ring back to OKBush's parents rather than to the man himself, a possible indicator of several things, none of them very reassuring, and a couple potentially quite disturbing. In any event, normally a mature person would meet with the chap, explain what is going on, and why she things the marriage is a bad idea, etc. What we may have here are two very immature people, looking for love in all the wrong places. Or maybe not. Just another thing to ponder.

The opebo method is clearly healthier.

[Joe Biden 2020]

BushOK,

The real question here that you need to ask yourself is do you really love her? She may be a wonderful person, but do you love her? Truly love her? If you don't love her, don't bother marrying her. Because if you do, it will only lead to more heartbreak.

Yes, yes I do love her.  The only thing I'm worried about is the expenses associated.  She can't have children and thus we would be either adopting or going through a surrogate mother, either of which would be very expensive.  I know true love knows no financial bounds and that's what I'm holding on to.  I know we'll work it out somehow, someway, and I'm trusting that the Lord will provide me with the means to provide for her.  The wedding is still 8 months out, so i have time to save up for the wedding either by building my business or by a regular job (which i'm going for an interview on Monday).  Emotionally, I think she'll be fine as long as she stays on her medication and the doctor doesn't tinker with it too much.  If I have to buy my own insurance policy for her, I will do that.  Mentally, she may be bi-polar, but she is very intelligent.  Physically, she is big, but that's partly due to her medicine.  She does eat vegetables so she's not a hamburger/pizza person like I am which is good.

[Torie]

As one who unfortunately learned more than I ever wanted to know about mental illness, I would do a lot of research on bipolar disorders if I were in this situation. In fact I would go to a NAMI course, which in my case I in fact did (they are free). I found it extremely valuable. That condition can become quite horrific, and get worse over time, until later on it burns itself out, which it sometimes does, and sometimes after considerable brain damage. Knowing what medication someone is on, will give one a lot of information about what the shrink thinks the precise disorder is. What happens is that various meds are tried, and depending on efficacy and time periods, the shrinks than reverse engineer the diagnosis, since nobody really knows what is going on, and all the psychotic labels are really just boxes  for what meds seem to work, or not work, and how, over given periods of time, in a given individual.

And yes anti psychotic meds can exacerbate obesity. That is a common side effect.

[Nym90]

As someone who rushed into marriage too quickly and still feels the profound psychological effects of that mistake to this day (and probably always will, given it's gotten worse if anything with time), my advice to you is this: consider the fact that other than having children it is far and away the most important decision you will ever make and will have the most profound effect on your happiness or lack thereof for the rest of your life.

If you have even the tiniest shred of doubt in your mind, you shouldn't do it.

[memphis]

Bushie needs some serious therapy. He has several issues to resolve.

[○∙◄☻¥tπ[╪AV┼cVê└]

Bushie needs some serious therapy. He has several issues to resolve.

One of which is that he can't afford therapy.

[Joe Biden 2020]

As someone who rushed into marriage too quickly and still feels the profound psychological effects of that mistake to this day (and probably always will, given it's gotten worse if anything with time), my advice to you is this: consider the fact that other than having children it is far and away the most important decision you will ever make and will have the most profound effect on your happiness or lack thereof for the rest of your life.

If you have even the tiniest shred of doubt in your mind, you shouldn't do it.

Well, we're going to give it a month, or until about Labor Day, to kind of take a break and assess where we both stand.  If you were to ask me right now, I have no doubts and no reservations.  I'm still going to take advantage of this next month to relax and focus on other things and take a good look at my feelings, my goals, my dreams, and what I want in this marriage.  She's going to do the same.  We will talk to each other on the phone every now and then, but we may not see each other very much.  As of now, my mother is still in possession of the ring and will remain so until Susan and me decide that we want to continue.  Susan told me today that she does want to keep April 9, 2011 intact.

Torie, I read part of the Wikipedia article on bipolar disorder and from what I can tell, she has the lowest level of bipolar (bipolar I).  She does have her mood swings, but they are not as severe as people with bipolar II.  In fact, sometimes I think I have a very mild case of bipolar disorder as I have some extreme mood swings.  The thing with her is she has never been, to my knowledge anyway, suicidal nor does she ever use any illegal substances to calm down.

[Torie]

What do you think about taking a NAMI course BushOK?  I cannot imagine marrying someone who is psychotic without having taken one, not only so that you know what you are getting into, but also so that you can better understand your future spouse, and yes better help her. Yes her, and how to react when she reacts, understanding better what is being generated by the illness, and what not, and how to deal with it. And find out what meds she is taking while you are it, so you can fit that into the matrix charts which NAMI provides. It would also be nice to fully know her case history, from soup to nuts. When did this condition start?  

You know, really loving someone, can take a lot of work if one's love is animated by really caring about someone, as opposed to yourself, and your needs. In my case, you cannot imagine the time I have spent on the matter, out of love. Sure it also cost a lot of money, but writing checks is the easiest part really, if there is money in the bank. The latter is quite a bit harder.

Facing reality is something one can delay, but in the end for most, not really avoid. Eventually, it will all catch up with you. How can one make the most intelligent decisions, with most of the cards in the deck face down?  Life doesn't work that way in my experience.

[Torie]

Bushie needs some serious therapy. He has several issues to resolve.

One of which is that he can't afford therapy.

There are a lot of resources out there for the impecunious, at least in California. If nothing else, one can go to group sessions. That can be a valuable experience. Yes, when I was in jail for my DUI, I could not do much I admit, including letting anyone know I was sitting in jail for 14 hours. But in general, I find that where there is a will, there is a way, with or without money.

[Countess Anya of the North Parish]

  I cannot imagine marrying someone who is psychotic.

then never marry a woman.

[King]

we're going to give it a month,

Bushie, Sunday is too soon! (Just preparing for the inevitable slice & dice of the proposed "giving it" timeline).

[King]

I feel like this is a pretty good metaphor for this life path.  Note that the train never actually gets very far.

Giving his relentless optimism in the face of disaster, I'd say it's more like the never-ending stair case. 

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Odds their breaks lasts more than a week?

[King]

Odds their breaks lasts more than a week?

This is obviously a match made in heaven.  A bipolar woman and

[Nym90]

As someone who rushed into marriage too quickly and still feels the profound psychological effects of that mistake to this day (and probably always will, given it's gotten worse if anything with time), my advice to you is this: consider the fact that other than having children it is far and away the most important decision you will ever make and will have the most profound effect on your happiness or lack thereof for the rest of your life.

If you have even the tiniest shred of doubt in your mind, you shouldn't do it.

Well, we're going to give it a month, or until about Labor Day, to kind of take a break and assess where we both stand.  If you were to ask me right now, I have no doubts and no reservations.  I'm still going to take advantage of this next month to relax and focus on other things and take a good look at my feelings, my goals, my dreams, and what I want in this marriage.  She's going to do the same.  We will talk to each other on the phone every now and then, but we may not see each other very much.  As of now, my mother is still in possession of the ring and will remain so until Susan and me decide that we want to continue.  Susan told me today that she does want to keep April 9, 2011 intact.

Torie, I read part of the Wikipedia article on bipolar disorder and from what I can tell, she has the lowest level of bipolar (bipolar I).  She does have her mood swings, but they are not as severe as people with bipolar II.  In fact, sometimes I think I have a very mild case of bipolar disorder as I have some extreme mood swings.  The thing with her is she has never been, to my knowledge anyway, suicidal nor does she ever use any illegal substances to calm down.

That may be but you seem to change your mind about her dramatically in the matter of a few hours. That's a bad sign.

Just sayin'.....

[Ban my account ffs!]

Ugh.  This is all just incredibly depressing.  BuskOK is learning me good not to have sympathy for stupid people.

[Psychic Octopus]

If your worrying about Wedding expenses, why not have a shotgun Vegas wedding?

[Lunar]

If your worrying about Wedding expenses,

http://www.youtube.com/user/MysteriousAtlas#p/a/u/0/gdhEI8hckQQ

[Mr. Morden]

I finally talked to her a few minutes ago and she said her main reasoning for giving the ring back was things were moving a little too fast for her and that she needed a break, both of which I understood.  We talked for a few minutes and agreed to take a break until about Labor Day and see how things stand.  If we get back together, we may still keep April 9, 2011 intact.

Bushie, if part of the issue is that she thought you were moving too fast, why don't you simply cancel the wedding, and try dating without being engaged?  You know, like people normally would with someone they've only been dating for 6 months.  Everyone in this thread said that you were rushing things by proposing after only about 10 weeks.  You yourself said:

I respect her too much, though, to propose to her any earlier than August or September.

Then you went ahead and proposed in April anyway, which everyone here said was a mistake.  Now the situation has blown up in your face, and she even tells you that part of the problem is that things are going too fast.  Why don't you take the logical step and try dating without the engagement?  How many of these broken engagements do you have to go through before realizing that proposing after just a few weeks/months is a mistake?

[AndrewTX]

Okay, so yeah. I'm just going to go ahead and say you are without a doubt, the stupidest person known to mankind. Seriously. You quit a great job to work for a scam that will probably leave you in the whole within a few months, and you plan on getting married to a "woman" who instead of dumping you to your face, did it to your parents. You talk about how angry you are about it, and now your going crazy for this troll again?

 Sir, as a man of now no faith, I look forward to your wedding night, when you find out your "wife" is a trap.  It will be like the end of sleepaway camp for you.

Good day, sir, I SAID GOOD DAY!

[CubOB]

I have a question for you Jeff. If you go ahead and marry her, then you both realise things aren't working out, what then? I'm basically asking what your views on divorce are.

[Hash]

How is it possible to be so stupid? This surpasses even Oklahoma standards.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Is Mechaman the only contemporary Okie, along with perhaps Fred R. Harris, to have a brain

[Gustaf]

This is really blowing my mind. This is either true, i.e. mind-blowing. Or, together with the facebook-stuff, made up. Which is also completely mind-blowing.