The t_host1 Institute of Comedy

[Simfan34]

HAHAHHAHAHA.

i was going To do something but now I don't want to do anything because F**K

Close that f**king thread before I get Dave to ban his ass

You really do need a better sleep cure. Not only are your posts bizzare, but you're up at 4:30 AM!

[Mechaman]

HAHAHHAHAHA.

i was going To do something but now I don't want to do anything because F**K

Close that f**king thread before I get Dave to ban his ass

You really do need a better sleep cure. Not only are your posts bizzare, but you're up at 4:30 AM!

It would be easier if he didn't slice off his tits to spite his vagina.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

Context needed

You mean to tell me they're different shows?

[IceSpear]

Can someone please tell me who these "unaffiliateds" (who I assume to be agnostic/atheist) are that oppose gay marriage?  WTF? 

I am unaffiliated.

Well, 23% of the unaffiliated population doesn't go to Oxford.

[SWE]

>2014
>using Reddit or Tumblr for anything other than porn

[courts]

Poly-sexual non-binary individuals

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

In California, Brown squares off against Tim Donnelly, which will be a bloodbath come November.

Hopefully after bathing in blood Jerry Brown will be 10 years younger and launch a Presidential campaign.

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

I can't wait for you all to start burning me in effigy.

Summer is icumen in,
Loudly sing, cuckoo!
The seed is growing
And the meadow is blooming,
And the wood is coming into leaf now,
Sing, cuckoo!

The ewe is bleating after her lamb,
The cow is lowing after her calf;
The bullock is prancing,
The billy-goat farting,

Sing merrily, cuckoo!
Cuckoo, cuckoo,
You sing well, cuckoo,
Never stop now.

Sing, cuckoo, now; sing, cuckoo;
Sing, cuckoo; sing, cuckoo, now!

[Sol]

BRTD's 'contributions' to this thread, and responses to that:

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=193217.msg4182462#new

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL SANDRA FLUKE

GET ME A SANDWICH

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

WIMMINZ. BUY YOUR OWN BIRTH CONTROL

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

Ban Boy

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

I'm a man in my late 50s, I enjoy leering, sneering and trolling. Also, sports, sports are important.

[Mopsus]

While searching for some election simulation game that Snowstalker posted in the Off-Topic board, I unearthed this long-lost gem:

Wow, you people all have no taste. The prevailing preference on this forum seems to be of gringos.



While you're furiously masturbating to this specimen, I'd like to talk some sense into you. White girls are boring. Let's get that out of the way. Pale skin and a lack of interbreeding leads to a population of plains; a creature like the one above, only about 100 pounds heavier, is probably the ideal for most of the sheltered basement-dwelling whites here. At most, you might be into even paler Japanese; maybe tentacle rape is your idea of "foreign".

However, though you may not realize it due to your lack of contact with the outside world, not all women are pale WASPs. You are all missing out on a world of diversity. In fact, ethnic women are consistently superior; instead of a crop of pale skinny butterfaces and pale fat butterfaces, greater interbreeding and genetic diversity in these groups, especially Latin Americans and some Mediterranean peoples.

Women here are more likely to be what you should be looking for; a curvy (but not fat from American foods) physique, wide hips, and a firm rump. The stick-thin and lily-white types are quite the opposite of the healthy, seductive woman we should pursue. We are supposed to prefer women with large, firm breasts and round hindquarters, gentlemen; it is our mind telling us that she is more fit for birthing and raising offspring who are healthier and will surely be more attractive than what you father with Jane Schluben from Dayton, Ohio. Of course, the lack of ethnic men here, and probably the large presence of similarly pale Anglos, dictates that you will likely not succeed in courting the finer specimens of the human female.

I still haven't found the game.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

While searching for some election simulation game that Snowstalker posted in the Off-Topic board, I unearthed this long-lost gem:

Wow, you people all have no taste. The prevailing preference on this forum seems to be of gringos.



While you're furiously masturbating to this specimen, I'd like to talk some sense into you. White girls are boring. Let's get that out of the way. Pale skin and a lack of interbreeding leads to a population of plains; a creature like the one above, only about 100 pounds heavier, is probably the ideal for most of the sheltered basement-dwelling whites here. At most, you might be into even paler Japanese; maybe tentacle rape is your idea of "foreign".

However, though you may not realize it due to your lack of contact with the outside world, not all women are pale WASPs. You are all missing out on a world of diversity. In fact, ethnic women are consistently superior; instead of a crop of pale skinny butterfaces and pale fat butterfaces, greater interbreeding and genetic diversity in these groups, especially Latin Americans and some Mediterranean peoples.

Women here are more likely to be what you should be looking for; a curvy (but not fat from American foods) physique, wide hips, and a firm rump. The stick-thin and lily-white types are quite the opposite of the healthy, seductive woman we should pursue. We are supposed to prefer women with large, firm breasts and round hindquarters, gentlemen; it is our mind telling us that she is more fit for birthing and raising offspring who are healthier and will surely be more attractive than what you father with Jane Schluben from Dayton, Ohio. Of course, the lack of ethnic men here, and probably the large presence of similarly pale Anglos, dictates that you will likely not succeed in courting the finer specimens of the human female.

I still haven't found the game.

Snowy has always been and will continue to be an Atlas gem. 

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

I can't tell if that Snowstalker post is serious or not.  That can't be a good sign...

[Snowstalker Mk. II]

Ah, I remember that one. I believe I was doing an affectionate parody of opebo.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Ah, I remember that one. I believe I was doing an affectionate parody of opebo.

Makes sense.  Our Dear Opie was always reminding us of the vast treasures of all shapes and forms beyond the confines of The Bad Place.

RIP : (

[courts]

I'm sure he is. He should go back to "Rainbow Dash > Bill Clinton" instead of spouting stuff like this. Yes, this is worse than comparing an established and well respected man to a cartoon pony.

In fairness, I doubt Rainbow Dash is a war criminal.

[Badger]

BRTD's 'contributions' to this thread, and responses to that:

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=193217.msg4182462#new

Specifically:

Reminds me of how if a travel agent hadn't screwed up we wouldn't have had any of Seth MacFarlane's contributions to pop culture post-9/11. Now that'd be pretty tough to fathom and quite depressing too.

'contributions'

Look at it this way: No one would have ever heard of Sneakers O'Toole.

Somehow, the terrorists won again.

[SWE]

Pros:
- She is a witch
- Can cast spells on the Devilcrats
- Will help carry Delaware in the GOP landslide
- Will enthuse the base
- Will make Hillary look old and ugly

Cons:
- Will be attacked by Demoncrats for being a strong successful conservative woman

[Simfan34]

This is good.

I'd love to see a reverse article interviewing a bunch of millionaires in Manhattan and Connecticut and then proclaiming that the GOP is wrecked because it's losing its core constituency and needs to run a Mike Bloomberg to win those people back.

That article would be missing the point on roughly the same scale.

I did my best:

Falls Church (United States) (AFP) - Jim Feltner's days are empty. He is a rich man in one of the richest counties in the United States and has never used unemployment benefits or food stamps in his life.

But the Northern Virginia resident has nothing but scorn for the Republican Party, which wants to relieve people like him of the burden of paying for those who actually do use food stamps and unemployment.

Feltner sits in a hard wooden chair at an Au Bon Pain in Alexandria, his MacBook Air perched in front of him.

People around here, he says, are "thriving, indisputably. I know, because I'm one of them."

Armed with two master's degrees, he lives off a salary he receives working as a healthcare management consultant in Deloitte's public sector consultancy practice.

Feltner voted for George H. W. Bush in 1988 when he was an undergraduate at Tufts University, but now says: "I will vote for anybody against the Republican Party."

"I don't care who the Democrat is, I'll vote for him or her. I don't care if they're a pedophile, a convicted felon, an Indian, a Pakistani, even someone who attended an SEC school!"

"They talk about this Real America and Fake America and make fun of the president for going to Harvard. I mean, I did post-graduate work there,'" Feltner alleged.

"Is that something for a major political party to say?," he added. "They have a problem with the educated people."

The same aversion to the Republicans is heard to the north, in Suffolk County, New York.

Alison Dahlberg-Tate, 38, whose necklace of pea-sized pearls hugs her slender neck, says she does not care about politics. She hasn't thought about it since her senior seminar at Sarah Lawrence. But one thing is clear: she does not like the Republican Party.

"I guess Republicans just worry about money in their pocket, what they and their friends are doing. They're not worried the poor, about the women, about the people who have been victimized in this patriarchal society," Dahlberg-Tate said, stepping onto her sailing yacht.

"The Democrats, they are the ones who get us," Dahlberg-Tate added, as her husband Hugh Marsden "Skip" Tate, IV, climbed aboard the vessel with a picnic basket.

"And what if we make poor women pay for birth control? I mean we might as well be in Somalia," Dahlberg-Tate said. She and her husband receives $3,800 each week from the H. M. Tate, Jr. Family Trust, the bulk of which goes to supporting their dogs Millie and Beckett. Skip's freelance public relations work for a New York City-based tech startup is their only other source of income.

"It's unfortunate, when the checks come out, there's a festival atmosphere in the bank," said Mike Bryant, director of client relations for Northern Trust's wealth management division, which oversees the distribution of trust fund dividends to their heirs.

"If someone dared say, I already paid for four years at Haverford and grad school at Yale and you're not getting anything else out of me, it's going to be a really awkward Memorial Day Weekend at the Cape," he said.

[IceSpear]

This is good.

I'd love to see a reverse article interviewing a bunch of millionaires in Manhattan and Connecticut and then proclaiming that the GOP is wrecked because it's losing its core constituency and needs to run a Mike Bloomberg to win those people back.

That article would be missing the point on roughly the same scale.

I did my best:

Falls Church (United States) (AFP) - Jim Feltner's days are empty. He is a rich man in one of the richest counties in the United States and has never used unemployment benefits or food stamps in his life.

But the Northern Virginia resident has nothing but scorn for the Republican Party, which wants to relieve people like him of the burden of paying for those who actually do use food stamps and unemployment.

Feltner sits in a hard wooden chair at an Au Bon Pain in Alexandria, his MacBook Air perched in front of him.

People around here, he says, are "thriving, indisputably. I know, because I'm one of them."

Armed with two master's degrees, he lives off a salary he receives working as a healthcare management consultant in Deloitte's public sector consultancy practice.

Feltner voted for George H. W. Bush in 1988 when he was an undergraduate at Tufts University, but now says: "I will vote for anybody against the Republican Party."

"I don't care who the Democrat is, I'll vote for him or her. I don't care if they're a pedophile, a convicted felon, an Indian, a Pakistani, even someone who attended an SEC school!"

"They talk about this Real America and Fake America and make fun of the president for going to Harvard. I mean, I did post-graduate work there,'" Feltner alleged.

"Is that something for a major political party to say?," he added. "They have a problem with the educated people."

The same aversion to the Republicans is heard to the north, in Suffolk County, New York.

Alison Dahlberg-Tate, 38, whose necklace of pea-sized pearls hugs her slender neck, says she does not care about politics. She hasn't thought about it since her senior seminar at Sarah Lawrence. But one thing is clear: she does not like the Republican Party.

"I guess Republicans just worry about money in their pocket, what they and their friends are doing. They're not worried the poor, about the women, about the people who have been victimized in this patriarchal society," Dahlberg-Tate said, stepping onto her sailing yacht.

"The Democrats, they are the ones who get us," Dahlberg-Tate added, as her husband Hugh Marsden "Skip" Tate, IV, climbed aboard the vessel with a picnic basket.

"And what if we make poor women pay for birth control? I mean we might as well be in Somalia," Dahlberg-Tate said. She and her husband receives $3,800 each week from the H. M. Tate, Jr. Family Trust, the bulk of which goes to supporting their dogs Millie and Beckett. Skip's freelance public relations work for a New York City-based tech startup is their only other source of income.

"It's unfortunate, when the checks come out, there's a festival atmosphere in the bank," said Mike Bryant, director of client relations for Northern Trust's wealth management division, which oversees the distribution of trust fund dividends to their heirs.

"If someone dared say, I already paid for four years at Haverford and grad school at Yale and you're not getting anything else out of me, it's going to be a really awkward Memorial Day Weekend at the Cape," he said.

I posted that here a few pages ago, but it's good enough that it deserves to be inducted twice.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

Scott Summers

Cyclops is running? Is that why he wasn't in Days of Future Past?

[Snowstalker Mk. II]

I'm proud of my description of the sunglasses, which I started writing before the last reply went up, so I'm going to reproduce it:

'A college student in some awful discipline who aspires to be a corporate stooge but can't shake the undefinable feeling that there's something more to life, something cooler.'

[Lief 🗽]

   Lib Dem 2.59% (-17.41%)

[Paul Kemp]

Busy day for Winnie...

Dominating, Congrats Phil

The Winfield legacy lives on.

Santorum supported the judge who struck down the marriage ban.

Haha...

Congrats Phil.

The Winfield legacy lives on.

Congrats Phil

The Winfield legacy lives on.

PA is Hillary country.

You must be logged in to read this quote.

Congrats Phil!

The Winfield legacy lives on.

Congrats Phil.

The Winfield legacy lives on.

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

"Things sure were nice before we sold Alaska to the aliens in exchange for not being obliterated. I hear they perform anal probings on cows up there."