My (new) update thread. GUESS WHO HAS GIRL FEELINGS AGAIN

[deliriumipa]

GO FOR IT BRO. GO FOR THE GOLD.

[© tweed]

I've never been in a relationship, so I can't give you much advice, sad to say.  I mean, I can tell you how to get to fourth base in fifteen seconds or less, but my way probably isn't very practical.  Or legal.

I'm sorry, what?

I'm a terrible person.

I'm not one to take offense at things like that.  it seemed out of character more than anything else.

[DC Al Fine]

All women are capable of getting angry, even the sweet ones, unless they have no backbone, then you don't want them anyway.

Also, if you aren't satisfied with your current girlfriend, then break up with her regardless of whether you date this Christian girl or not. You need to keep in mind that she is a super Christian though and you are not. Can you handle that? She may not even want to date you if she is super serious about her faith. Again, I do realize that you both are 17, so my advice may not be any good.

Well I do love my girlfriend with all of my heart, it's just getting difficult considering we hardly ever talk anymore.

But I think my main problem if I were to actually date her (by some miracle) is that I'm a really...horny individual. I'm pretty sure that the Bible says "thou shalt not blow emos" so that pretty much f's me.

Proof that I am literally a freaking weirdo:

You need a heavy dose of game my man.

Be confident, be a bit of jerk, and don't self-deprecate. Hitting the weights will help as well if you aren't doing that already.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

All women are capable of getting angry, even the sweet ones, unless they have no backbone, then you don't want them anyway.

Also, if you aren't satisfied with your current girlfriend, then break up with her regardless of whether you date this Christian girl or not. You need to keep in mind that she is a super Christian though and you are not. Can you handle that? She may not even want to date you if she is super serious about her faith. Again, I do realize that you both are 17, so my advice may not be any good.

Well I do love my girlfriend with all of my heart, it's just getting difficult considering we hardly ever talk anymore.

But I think my main problem if I were to actually date her (by some miracle) is that I'm a really...horny individual. I'm pretty sure that the Bible says "thou shalt not blow emos" so that pretty much f's me.

Proof that I am literally a freaking weirdo:

You need a heavy dose of game my man.

Be confident, be a bit of jerk, and don't self-deprecate. Hitting the weights will help as well if you aren't doing that already.

I still fail to see why people think that works a majority of the time.

[Kitteh]

All women are capable of getting angry, even the sweet ones, unless they have no backbone, then you don't want them anyway.

Also, if you aren't satisfied with your current girlfriend, then break up with her regardless of whether you date this Christian girl or not. You need to keep in mind that she is a super Christian though and you are not. Can you handle that? She may not even want to date you if she is super serious about her faith. Again, I do realize that you both are 17, so my advice may not be any good.

Well I do love my girlfriend with all of my heart, it's just getting difficult considering we hardly ever talk anymore.

But I think my main problem if I were to actually date her (by some miracle) is that I'm a really...horny individual. I'm pretty sure that the Bible says "thou shalt not blow emos" so that pretty much f's me.

Proof that I am literally a freaking weirdo:

You need a heavy dose of game my man.

Be confident, be a bit of jerk, and don't self-deprecate. Hitting the weights will help as well if you aren't doing that already.

Calvinist PUAs. Only on Atlas.

[TJ in Oregon]

All women are capable of getting angry, even the sweet ones, unless they have no backbone, then you don't want them anyway.

Also, if you aren't satisfied with your current girlfriend, then break up with her regardless of whether you date this Christian girl or not. You need to keep in mind that she is a super Christian though and you are not. Can you handle that? She may not even want to date you if she is super serious about her faith. Again, I do realize that you both are 17, so my advice may not be any good.

Well I do love my girlfriend with all of my heart, it's just getting difficult considering we hardly ever talk anymore.

But I think my main problem if I were to actually date her (by some miracle) is that I'm a really...horny individual. I'm pretty sure that the Bible says "thou shalt not blow emos" so that pretty much f's me.

Proof that I am literally a freaking weirdo:

You need a heavy dose of game my man.

Be confident, be a bit of jerk, and don't self-deprecate. Hitting the weights will help as well if you aren't doing that already.

Calvinist PUAs. Only on Atlas.

DC doesn't need to find confidence, he knows he's predestined for success. Why worry?

[LastVoter]

Wait, who invited you to the party? The girl at school or your "girlfriend?"

Go to the party if she invited you to come. At best, you will see her boobs. At worst, you will go to a halloween party. You win. I hope she drinks.

The girl at my school. I think I'll go.

Although I don't think there will be boobs or alcohol. Remember, she's a Christian

That's where you strat it up and bring a flask.

[Anti Democrat Democrat Club]

All women are capable of getting angry, even the sweet ones, unless they have no backbone, then you don't want them anyway.

Also, if you aren't satisfied with your current girlfriend, then break up with her regardless of whether you date this Christian girl or not. You need to keep in mind that she is a super Christian though and you are not. Can you handle that? She may not even want to date you if she is super serious about her faith. Again, I do realize that you both are 17, so my advice may not be any good.

Well I do love my girlfriend with all of my heart, it's just getting difficult considering we hardly ever talk anymore.

But I think my main problem if I were to actually date her (by some miracle) is that I'm a really...horny individual. I'm pretty sure that the Bible says "thou shalt not blow emos" so that pretty much f's me.

Proof that I am literally a freaking weirdo:

You are lucky you got the response you did. Word vomiting doesn't really work, and neither does opening with "you're cute". Just be yourself and you'll be fine.

My friend sends sh**t like this to girls all the time and only got a response 3 times. All of which ended up getting friendzoned and raging about "f(inks)ing girls thinking i'm not mature enough"

[They not like us]

I've never been in a relationship, so I can't give you much advice, sad to say.  I mean, I can tell you how to get to fourth base in fifteen seconds or less, but my way probably isn't very practical.  Or legal.

I'm sorry, what?

yeah that caught me off guard big time


I will say though, there is a -1000% chance that I will ever "be a jerk" in order to get a girl. I can absolutely live with not having someone date me simply due to the fact that I did not treat them like garbage. It may work for some people, but it won't work for me.

That's where you strat it up and bring a flask.

Don't own one. Don't have money. Don't have booze.


As for the "word vomit" thing, I'll reiterate:

that's just me though it's not an act or fishing for sympathy or whatever it's how i actually feel

I have 0 ability to speak to strangers. None whatsoever. No matter how romantically interested I am in them.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Here's the link to the old disasterous trainwreck of a thread, though I'd advise that no one read it: https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=136402.0

This is the last time I will ever click on this guaranteed to be utter trainwreck of a thread as well.

[They not like us]

Here's the link to the old disasterous trainwreck of a thread, though I'd advise that no one read it: https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=136402.0

This is the last time I will ever click on this guaranteed to be utter trainwreck of a thread as well.

Thanks for finding it! And I'm glad you'll never be coming back.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

All women are capable of getting angry, even the sweet ones, unless they have no backbone, then you don't want them anyway.

Also, if you aren't satisfied with your current girlfriend, then break up with her regardless of whether you date this Christian girl or not. You need to keep in mind that she is a super Christian though and you are not. Can you handle that? She may not even want to date you if she is super serious about her faith. Again, I do realize that you both are 17, so my advice may not be any good.

Well I do love my girlfriend with all of my heart, it's just getting difficult considering we hardly ever talk anymore.

But I think my main problem if I were to actually date her (by some miracle) is that I'm a really...horny individual. I'm pretty sure that the Bible says "thou shalt not blow emos" so that pretty much f's me.

Proof that I am literally a freaking weirdo:

You need a heavy dose of game my man.

Be confident, be a bit of jerk, and don't self-deprecate. Hitting the weights will help as well if you aren't doing that already.

Calvinist PUAs. Only on Atlas.

In fairness to DC Al Fine, while that advice strikes me as kind of sketchy, I'm not sure I'd say it's quite PUA-level sketchy. He's still one of the last people from whom I would have expected that sort of talk.

To Carl:

Clearly you're not happy in this relationship of yours, so although I usually hate to suggest this I think it may be for the best to break it off. You're seventeen--not really old enough for a relationship anyway in my opinion, and certainly not to maintain a long-distance one with somebody with whom you don't seem to be in love. All the same, it strikes me as a terrible idea to pursue this other girl, for reasons that you and other people have already stated. Would it be possible for you to take a break from love for a while until your hormones have calmed down and you're better able to gauge what you would be looking for in a relationship? If so, that's what I would advise, and if not, good luck, be honest at least with yourself, and keep yourself and anybody else involved safe.

Work on talking companionably with girls! Not only will it make it easier for you to become and stay romantically involved in the future, it will also help you maintain friendships, a good thing worth pursuing in itself.

Take this advice for whatever you think it's worth. Lord knows I'm not a spectacular romantic 'success' by most conventional measures. Or even my own, for that matter.

[They not like us]

The thing is, most of my friends are girls. It's been that way my entire life. I've always been closer to my mom and grandmom than anyone else. It baffles me that I'm unable to simply tell a girl she looked cute without sounding like a total tool. Regardless, I think I'm going to end up breaking up with my girlfriend within a month's time, considering we talked last night for about 10 minutes and it was the most uncomfortable feeling I've had with her involved. I'm going to do the good guy thing and give it time.

As for the girl at my school, today she looked cute as heck (again) and I planned on saying something to her

She saw me in the halls, smiled, said hello, and I managed to...

Apologize profusely for being so freaking weird.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

The thing is, most of my friends are girls. It's been that way my entire life. I've always been closer to my mom and grandmom than anyone else. It baffles me that I'm unable to simply tell a girl she looked cute without sounding like a total tool. Regardless, I think I'm going to end up breaking up with my girlfriend within a month's time, considering we talked last night for about 10 minutes and it was the most uncomfortable feeling I've had with her involved. I'm going to do the good guy thing and give it time.

As for the girl at my school, today she looked cute as heck (again) and I planned on saying something to her

She saw me in the halls, smiled, said hello, and I managed to...

Apologize profusely for being so freaking weird.

Hopefully you didn't use those three words again...

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Just don't speak to her until Halloween. I think that's your best route.

[They not like us]

Hopefully you didn't use those three words again...

Frick off it's my body i do what i want

Just don't speak to her until Halloween. I think that's your best route.

I need to be the kid in this commercial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axm35l5u8-E

[DC Al Fine]

You need a heavy dose of game my man.

Be confident, be a bit of jerk, and don't self-deprecate. Hitting the weights will help as well if you aren't doing that already.

I still fail to see why people think that works a majority of the time.

Perhaps I'm not articulating it right. I don't mean that Carl should walk up to her and go "Sup bitch!", but my experience is that some gentle teasing works quite well.


To Carl, you're setting yourself up for a fall here. Play to your strengths. Christian girl is looking for something that you aren't and if you do manage to date her, there will be pressure to end it from her parents, church friends etc.

The thing is, most of my friends are girls. It's been that way my entire life. I've always been closer to my mom and grandmom than anyone else. It baffles me that I'm unable to simply tell a girl she looked cute without sounding like a total tool. Regardless, I think I'm going to end up breaking up with my girlfriend within a month's time, considering we talked last night for about 10 minutes and it was the most uncomfortable feeling I've had with her involved. I'm going to do the good guy thing and give it time.

As for the girl at my school, today she looked cute as heck (again) and I planned on saying something to her

She saw me in the halls, smiled, said hello, and I managed to...

Apologize profusely for being so freaking weird.

Do something super basic that can't be screwed up.

Girl: "Hi Carl"
Carl: "Hi ___ how are you?"
Girl: "Good, I'm [insert something about her life]"
Carl: Cool

[They not like us]

Christian girl is looking for something that you aren't and if you do manage to date her, there will be pressure to end it from her parents, church friends etc.

This is my biggest fear/point of acceptance. I am by no means a Christian, but I'm very very good with meeting parents/friends/etc. Believe it or not, my maturity comes alive when it needs to. It has yet to fail me.

But yeah, most of our conversations go in one of two ways. Either:

me: -stupid joke-
her: -laughs-

or

her: -talks about music-
me: -also talks about music-

that's it

[Lief 🗽]

First of all, there's no reason to tell a girl you haven't kissed yet that she's cute (or that you like her, etc.). Did you ever learn about "show not tell" in English class?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Dude, values matter. Remember that. Her being a Christian and you not, especially if she's a hardcore Christian, will always hurt you. I'm not saying don't pursue her, but there will be pressure for her not to date you because of that.

It's easier if she isn't really serious about it of course. I've never dated a Christian but I am one myself, albeit a poor one, but every girl I've dated valued the same things I did so it was okay. This just sounds like an uphill battle, but I still think you need to can your current girlfriend.

[They not like us]

First of all, there's no reason to tell a girl you haven't kissed yet that she's cute (or that you like her, etc.). Did you ever learn about "show not tell" in English class?

It's kinda hard to kiss a girl if you don't tell her that you're interested. At least for me it is.

Dude, values matter. Remember that. Her being a Christian and you not, especially if she's a hardcore Christian, will always hurt you. I'm not saying don't pursue her, but there will be pressure for her not to date you because of that.

It's easier if she isn't really serious about it of course. I've never dated a Christian but I am one myself, albeit a poor one, but every girl I've dated valued the same things I did so it was okay. This just sounds like an uphill battle, but I still think you need to can your current girlfriend.

The uphill battle is more of a "would she consider dating me in the first place" thing rather than a "would the whole 'i'm not a Christian' thing work out" thing

[They not like us]

Update: my girlfriend and I basically broke up yesterday (me breaking up with her, though we're still friends and haven't ruled out getting back together after some time)

Bigger update: I got the girl from my school's number!!!!!!!!!

[Sopranos Republican]

Update: my girlfriend and I basically broke up yesterday (me breaking up with her, though we're still friends and haven't ruled out getting back together after some time)

Bigger update: I got the girl from my school's number!!!!!!!!!

And we have it on video!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTFZyl7hfBw

[They not like us]

Matt goddammit i told you not to post that i look HORRIBLE in that video

[Gustaf]

First of all, there's no reason to tell a girl you haven't kissed yet that she's cute (or that you like her, etc.). Did you ever learn about "show not tell" in English class?

It's kinda hard to kiss a girl if you don't tell her that you're interested. At least for me it is.

Dude, values matter. Remember that. Her being a Christian and you not, especially if she's a hardcore Christian, will always hurt you. I'm not saying don't pursue her, but there will be pressure for her not to date you because of that.

It's easier if she isn't really serious about it of course. I've never dated a Christian but I am one myself, albeit a poor one, but every girl I've dated valued the same things I did so it was okay. This just sounds like an uphill battle, but I still think you need to can your current girlfriend.

The uphill battle is more of a "would she consider dating me in the first place" thing rather than a "would the whole 'i'm not a Christian' thing work out" thing

I have kissed a fair number of girls and never once have I told a single one of them that they looked cute beforehand. Nor even given any of them much of a compliment.

But everyone has their own way. The main curse of the PUA nonsense is that it makes people think there are formulas. To some extent you actually do have to follow the tired old cliche of being yourself.

Also, what's with Scott and his weird rape talk?