The Comedy Goldmine

[Bacon King]

I was in a rush from watching TV so I had a grilled bowel movement tonight instead of a social life.

[Leftbehind]

He clearly doesn't want this thread.

[SPC]

I am considering a run for president

News at 10 tonight:

Mr Morden announces 2016 run for president.

[Badger]

Found this while archieve-surfing in a thread on The Big Bang Theory:

I've never met a nerd who likes it. The characters are good approximations of how non-nerds think nerds are, which is of course highly inaccurate

Which no doubt explains why most people posting in this thread have had nothing nice to say about the show.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

See the thread's title.

Assad's been banging Michelle? It all makes sense now.

[traininthedistance]

Looks like Thompson won the hipster vote. Williamsburg was by far his best area.

South Williamsburg.  Satmar Hasidim don't count as hipsters.

They were Hasidim before it was cool.

And maybe their hatred of the state of Israel could be considered ironic.

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

I'm sad to see you go. To those people who were assholes to you, I will be assholes to them.

Two assholes don't make a right, tho it would make an interesting case study in an anatomy textbook.

[Pheurton Skeurto]

2001. That was the day when Kwame Kilpatrick won first place in the Detroit Mayoral primary. Detroit has never recovered.

[Paul Kemp]

Here is the piece of propaganda from Vlad: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/12/opinion/putin-plea-for-caution-from-russia-on-syria.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

Finally a true champion of democracy, peace, non-intervention, and the rule of law. Obama could learn a lot from this great man, though he'll probably be too busy literally reading our emails in between rounds of golf to peruse this great article.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

On how often Bushie attends church

Twice on Sunday and once on Wednesday.

So... less often than you briefly relax?  I'm scandalized.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Am I the only one who do the responsible thing if I caught HIV/AIDS?

Kill yourself (and the person who gave it to you). It's what any decent person would do.

one of my theories is that the dems will turn more into the Al Sharpton party which will cause a lot of white liberal defections to the GOP. So the dems then become a patronage-ridden race hustling party while the republicans become the white liberal party. You already see this type of stuff happening in New York to some extent.

...

Are we sure there isn't some new forum bug transferring posts from 1983 Usenet discussions into present day?

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

the $11k number is better than I was expecting, I feared it was in the tens of thousands.

[Antonio the Sixth]

I advocate the Death Penalty for these people.

[Lief 🗽]

5. He learned there would be scantily clad women on board and knew that there would end up being seagull crap on the deck after he briefly relaxed.

[Landslide Lyndon]

This thread reminds me that I should be somewhere else having sex.

If this thread is anything like your sex life, I feel profound sympathy for your sex partner.

[Oakvale]

Context optional.

It seems like you're systematically trying to castrate yourself.

[Paul Kemp]

Thoughts and prayers go out to all those affected by J. J.'s relentless efforts to report every minuscule detail as it happens.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

What if everyone who had a debate about Kant shot their opponent?  The person should not have fired unless he willed his action be a universal law.

[traininthedistance]

Context helpful but not required:

Ooohhhh…. So that are what sentences look like, so… what’s the problem?

[Kitteh]

context (full thing too long to put here):

okay but what does this have to do with defense policy. what does any of this have to do with anything. why did I waste twenty minutes typing this all?

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Intentional or (probably) not:

I certainly think im more progressive than most forum democrats.

[Lief 🗽]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/im-just-a-free-spirit-who-is-entirely-financially,33905/

No.  Bushie wasting his parents money on being a free spirit would be a step up from wasting his parents money on "loving on kids/watching 15 hours of TV a day" spirit.

[Snowstalker Mk. II]

BK again confirmed for greatest mod:

Hey!  This is Roux18 here, and since I am new to the forum

Blatant Lie -10 Points

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Probable Lie -5 Points

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Blatant Lie -10 Points

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Blatant Lie -10 Points

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Probable Lie -5 Points

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Blatant Lie -10 Points

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Probable Lie -5 Points

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Pointless Hope -5 Points



FINAL SCORE: 40/100, F

They should call you Too Dumb At Socks amirite

[Pheurton Skeurto]

Anyone who doesn't worship BK should be banned

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]