Comedy Goldmine XII: A reimagining with Edward James Olmos and Mary McDonnell

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

due to the apparent lack of humor on this board, I am forced to post my own:

Seems that you really don't know french politicians at all...

Many fragments. Some large, some small...Malfunction. Need input.

wtf ?

And Antonio, Houston, we see your tire pressure messages and we did not copy your last...

Ok, now I understand. You are just more stupid than I thought.

It cracks me up how it looks like Number 5 is looking at the tiny dude rolling his eyes.

[Joe Republic]

Understand your audience, jmf.

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

Understand your audience, jmf.

but I'm usually the only one in my audience.... 

[King]

Saddam Hussein Abd Al-Majid Al-Tiqriti
Yes we can be Friends

Being friends with Saddam Hussein gave me a chuckle.

[patrick1]

just got off the phone with the IRS...I send my tax return into the Austin office and wanted to make sure my 2008 return had been processed (i filed on Oct 15th 2009, last day of automatic extention) and that there was no chance that it burned up in this fire prior to processing

Very compassionate, j.

so I should have waited a day or two or a week or a month?  I'm in Houston, not like there is anything I can do at the moment to lend a hand. 

"Yes, Mr. jmfcst, your tax return was processed and it didn't burn up in the fire, unlike some of our employees who might have burned up in the fire.....thanks for asking about them, oh, wait, nevermind......."

[Countess Anya of the North Parish]

I'm curious about adoption, can white couples get a high demand for their babies?  It seems like there are always people wanting to adopt but there are not enough children out there for them.  If that is the case, it may be a better cost-effective situation to get pregnant besides the health of the mother.  However, many young girls take drugs and drink alcohol which is not good for unwanted children.

If global warming exists, then the human population needs to be decreased and not increased.  I've heard that birth control is not good for some women.  Its so confusing.  Condoms pollute the world.

[Bacon King]

I met DWTL once and he started eating my little brother. Needless to say, I haven't seen him since.

[The Mikado]

He'd be a FF if he was more moderate like my hero Mark Kirk, but since he's not, I just don't know WHAT to think.

I almost laughed out loud.  I only didn't because I have company over.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

On tvtropes:

Wow... since I didn't know about this until reading this thread, and have now spent the last hour and a half of my life looking at it, I'd say its possible.

[Joe Republic]

On the extinction of the dinosaurs:

RaptorJesus took them away in the velocirapture.

[Joe Republic]

For the sake of this poll, all Hispanics are considered non-white and Janet Napolitano is considered a woman.

[The Mikado]

So besides the amusing part is that conclusive evidence of a clone?  Good but not a smoking gun type?  Just a quirky coincidence?

It's either the same person, or two people posting from the same internet connection.  Who apparently don't know each other.  And who apparently live in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

No, JSojourner, tell us you didn't!

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Lame. Not funny even in the slightest.

I thought it was funny

[Sam Spade]

Every post by Einzige is this thread is about as goldmine material as you can get.

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=111223.0

[The Mikado]

Note the dateline.  I can't believe he did this.

Ridge obviously fits Jmfcst's requirements of being Roman Catholic, moderate and strong on defense issues.  He is a true American hero for serving the way he did in Vietnam.  The problem others have pointed out is pretty significant though. He supports the right of women to murder babies.  This cannot be tolerated in the Republican Party.  It's shameful we still put up with it.

Alexander and Gregg have both been mentioned, and both are fairly conservative pro-lifers.  Their age should not be a factor if they are healthy.  Thune is young and it won't hurt him to have a grey haired kind of "mentor" figure lurking in the background.  Voters felt a certain amount of reassurance with both Biden and Cheney in voting for relatively inexperienced Presidents.  (Though what reassures anyone about Biden is beyond me.)

I don't really believe a VP should be selected in order to "help" in a home state, anyway.  So if I were Thune, I would look to someone like Duncan Hunter.  California is probably a lost cause (although with the way Obama is wrecking the country, you never know!) Hunter is strong on fiscal, military and social issues.  Bob Dornan would be a good choice if he had been in Congress recently, but he is pretty much out of circulation.  Although...the more I think about it, the more appeal this has.  Dornan is hardly inactive...I didn't realize he was running again...

http://www.bobdornan.com/index2.html

He certainly represents American and Christian values, unlike Ridge.  And he has military experience.

Regardless, I am sure Thune will make a sound and reasoned choice.  Aside from Senator DeMint, he may possess one of the strongest intellectual minds in the Senate today. So you can bet he won't choose a candidate at the last minute and fail to properly vet them.

[Sam Spade]

I am disappointed in JSoj for doing this, though I still will (barely) keep my FF vote since he's still done a lot of good things. On the bright side, at least Coburn in 2012 and KeeptheChange's hateful views aren't real.

[Vepres]

I have to go with HO, reluctantly.

You think he's hydrogen monoxide?  Really, that's uncalled for.

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

From the Discover Card is KILLING ME!!! thread:

Looking at that pie graph from Discover, I believe jmfcst is married to Imelda Marcos.

Let's not blame the little woman - perhaps jmfcst is the Imelda Marcos of the pair.  Although, in fairness, if the Better Half has to put up with this tightly wound religious fanatic day in day out, she bloody well deserves a few thousands worth of shoes and frocks.  And jewels, lots of exurban-style jewlry..

[Torie]

Ernest beat me to the one above. Hopefully the object of opebo's spar can laugh at it, along with the rest of us.

[k-onmmunist]

Hello. If you don't like ads - please ban this account. Apologises for that, but please understand me - I don't want break your forum! Regards and have nice day.

[Barnes]

Hello. If you don't like ads - please ban this account. Apologises for that, but please understand me - I don't want break your forum! Regards and have nice day.

I thought there was a rule against Atlasia?

[k-onmmunist]

Hello. If you don't like ads - please ban this account. Apologises for that, but please understand me - I don't want break your forum! Regards and have nice day.

I thought there was a rule against Atlasia?

There is?

Well, it wasn't really related to it, so what the hell

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

Ernest beat me to the one above. Hopefully the object of opebo's spar can laugh at it, along with the rest of us.

I don't find it funny to compare my or my wife's lifestyle to Imelda Marcos when I'm trying to figure out how I make as much as I do and shop at Walmart and Target, and yet still have a cashflow problem. 

In such a case, it's not a laughing matter

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

Ernest beat me to the one above. Hopefully the object of opebo's spar can laugh at it, along with the rest of us.

I don't find it funny to compare my or my wife's lifestyle to Imelda Marcos when I'm trying to figure out how I make as much as I do and shop at Walmart and Target, and yet still have a cashflow problem. 

In such a case, it's not a laughing matter

It was opebo making that comparison that I found funny, not the comparison itself.

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

As a child, I thought that, following death, you'd still be "conscious", but it'd just be dark and stuffy for eternity, like space with no stars - the thought absolutely terrified me.

Now I realize that it literally won't be "like" anything; the difference is that between a computer being in sleep mode and having its plug pulled. And I find the thought much more comforting.

DISCUSS!  WITH MAPS!!!