Is it ever ok to call someone a "self-hating jew"?

[Antonio the Sixth]

It's generally lazy and misses the point. There are Jewish people who harbor antisemitic attitudes (just as there are women who harbor misogynistc attitudes, or POC who harbor racist attitudes... being an oppressed category is never a shield against the ideologies that justify that oppression) but that often has very little to do with actual self-hatred, which is an entirely different psychological phenomenon.

If you want to call someone an antisemite, call them an antisemite, regardless of their own ethnicity/religion. I have no qualms about calling Eric Zemmour an antisemite, for example.

[Antonio the Sixth]

I agree it probably should be used with reticence, but when you get people like Norm Finkelstein saying things like 'David Irving is a very good historian' then I think its a fair characterization

Looking at how Norman Finkelstein conducts himself, I really don't see much evidence of self-hatred. If anything what transpires is a deeply overinflated sense of his own ego.