Hmmm... ever sucked mayonnaise through a brillo pad?
No, but I put it on just about everything. Hot dogs, corn dogs, french fries, hamburgers, tatertots, onion rings, fish sticks, ham sandwich, fish sandwich, beef sandwich, chicken sandwich, tuna sandwich. (I also like mustard on the latter five items in that list. Mayo on one side, mustard on the other. Dark, seedy, texturally inhomogeneous mustard, like Koopman's Deli mustard. But if I had to choose only one, I'd probably choose mayonnaise over mustard. They're equally tasty, but mayonnaise lubricates so much better.)
Rarely a day goes by without me having some mayonnaise, some coffee, and some alcohol.
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