David Valadao's constituent services are pretty amazing. I actually have personal experience with his service. When I went to CA-21, I was immediately greeted with 10 of the finest Latinas, all sent personally to me from Valadao. Each delivered me a delicious Margarita. David Valadao himself waved at me from his Lamborghini, and then threw me the car keys. Valadao then snapped his fingers and a heard of cattle came, which the 12 Latinas (yes, two more came out of nowhere) and him rode on the cattle into the sunset. At this point, I was so drunk from the margaritas that I began humping my Lamborghini.
