The Nyman Questioner Volume 2018 (WE'RE BACK)

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We bet you thought you'd seen the last of us.

If so, you thought wrong.

The Nyman Questioner is a news organization dedicated to prioritizing entertainment and sensationalism above all else. We are most famous for calling for President D. F. W Liberty Lover's impeachment for getting into a bar fight, exposing numerous cases of voter fraud and corruption, investigating the circumstances that surrounded Winfield's fall from riches to rags, making pivotal endorsements in a large number of elections, and criticizing the Nyman establishment. And we did it all over the course of four months in 2017.

In 2018 we will continue the tireless work of exposing the swamp for what they truly are, bringing hot takes and commentary that can be enjoyed by anyone who doesn't take things too seriously. (Therefore, the likes of Winfield may want to ignore what this publication says, especially if it is about a topic.)

The one big difference between 2017 and 2018 is there is only one reporter/correspondent/columnist who works for the Questioner. It is the somewhat venerable Michael Wells, who makes a habit of referring to himself in the first person plural and more recently the third person singular when writing articles for the Questioner. There are currently no signs that this habit will stop.

Regardless, we hope to reach a large audience of concerned citizens who want nothing more than to see an Atlasia that is truly of the people, by the people, and by the people and who believe that the only way to accomplish that is to expose the truth, even if the truth has to be made up. It may make others uncomfortable, but as we always say, (alternative) facts over feelings!

 - The Nyman Questioner Editorial Board (i.e. Mike Wells)

(If you want to see the last thread then check out this link which will let you read all our 2017 articles in all their glory. Be prepared for an article very soon!)

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I forget do I still work for you guys

I laid off all employees except myself until I change my mind.

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OBITUARIES: THE LABOR PARTY (JANUARY 28, 2012 - JANUARY 23, 2018)

 Perhaps no party has been more influential in Atlasian politics than the Labor Party. From the atics with Adam Griffin, who permanently changed the way the game is played, to the other eight presidents that the party produced, without them we would have a very different Atlasia.

 Yet all things must come to an end and we here at the Questioner are very pleased that it did. Labor was one of the two arms of the dreadful swamp machine, the other arm being the Federalist Party which regretfully was barely even massacred this week. Now the most influential left wing parties are the Progressive Union Party and Peace.

 The PUP was actually founded by a Federalist defector (but they still have an ideology, trust us).  The party represents the interests of more center-left minded people, naturally making it indistinguishable from any other party that exists sans the fact that there isn't corruption to be seen anywhere. Peace was founded by an Independent, because Labor's demise wasn't because they were proactive after all. Thy represent the far-left fringe interests, which means they'll never be successful enough to experience the full extent of the swamp. And that's just fine by us.

 When we reached out to Federalist leaders, they all had different things to say. Doof F. W. Liberty Lover said, "Whoops I didn't know I could do that." Leinad whispered under his breath "Good riddance," before giving us his official statement. Frank Taggin's full statement was: "Oh God, you guys are back? Listen, Labor fell because its leadership wasn't invested enough in the game to - " after which her ten seconds of looking up from her desk in the Oval Office was up and she went back to doing whatever presidents do.

 We tried to reach out to former Laborites to see what they had to say, but we couldn't find them anywhere.

UPDATE September 1: Upon visiting the final (?) resting place of the Labor Party I noticed the stone was rolled away and the tomb was empty. This is deeply disturbing. I wish to discover more.

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ON CONFLICTS OF INTEREST

Recently we've seen candidates take stances against dual office holding, with some saying that it leads to corruption and other nasty things while others point out that Atlasia is sparsely populated when it comes to activity. As the Vice President on a ticket that takes a strong stance against holding any more offices than the number of terms Frank Taggin will have, I have a lot to say about this topic.

But you'd see right through that, wouldn't you? I know my readers aren't stupid, they know when they're being tricked (since we expose it) so it would be patronizing to try to trick them with a seemingly sensible editorial, when there is a real reason to take it with a grain of salt or two. Ideally a reader would have put as much sodium in that editorial as a Big Mac.

But we aren't writing that editorial. Instead, this is a letter from the editor saying that while he is on the ticket with Pericles, he will not be editing or writing any articles for this newspaper. The integrity of this newspaper would be compromised by me being a part of a major ticket - just imagine how seriously you would be able to take our Presidential endorsement. But that does not mean you won't receive any articles at all. It just means that they will be written by a different person.

Setting out to prove President Taggin wrong about dual office holding, I tried to find someone who could write articles at least half as well as I could. Harry Truman is qualified, so it wasn't surprising that he had found another job doing just that. Isaac Cummings is also qualified, but I decided that would be too cliche for this paper at this point. After going down a long list of people, I couldn't find anyone who fit the form of an ideal Questioner reporter.

Desperate for someone, I turned to supernatural solutions. After contacting a psychic, she told me that she would be able to contact dead Atlasians for me and let them publish through my account. Overjoyed that I had found a solution, I immediately decided that the next article will be written by a dead person, hopefully making us the very first publication to have published a currently deceased Atlasian's first piece of work. (Kalwejt doesn't count because his death happened after his first articles were published.)

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As the Vice President on a ticket that takes a strong stance against holding any more offices than the number of terms Frank Taggin will have.

She's already on her 2nd so you can still write for the paper and run for office. That's also only 2.

The first one wasn't complete, so we can still say that even if it's a stretch.

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The questioners endorsement for president

ok so being a dead Atlasian was hard but now I'm back and ready to get my house campaign started again.

well i was just told that I'm here to write an article for a Atlasian newspapar so I'll do that instead I'm gonna write this newspapers endrosement for president .

(Who are the candiates? Pericles and fhtang?)

 I support the federalist candidate because they are theM OST RIGHT WING party. maybe perices is a nice guy but we want a conservative party to win ok.

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It appears greedo was the dead guy. I'm sorry about that, but you'll just have to put up with him for the next couple weeks to the next few months depending on if we win the election. (I think that's probably a bigger endorsement of fhtagn than anything else to be honest.)

Anyway, this is unrelated, but I did click post on that article at 11:59 PM last night but it's just showing up just now for some reason. It must be because of my slow Atlas.

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Wow, this got to two pages with only three articles. Our first thread had to have four articles for multiple pages. Our paper is generating a lot of discussion, and we're only growing.

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I forgot how much I missed my own paper, lol. Isaac is rehired just for those articles, greedo can go back to wherever lost Atlasians go.

If anyone wants to write for the Nyman Questioner, shoot me a PM and I'll review your resume.

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THE FEBRUARY 2018 ELECTION IN REVIEW

NYMAN - Coming off a string of election victories this weekend, the Federalists are finding themselves to be in terrible shape. "After maintaining the Presidency, a House majority, and gaining a governorship," announced one political commentator. "I've never seen the Federalists in such a state of disarray." In fact it appears that the vast majority of Atlasians now hate the Federalist Party, despite handing them major victories over the weekend. "I just don't trust the Federalists, you know?" said one enthusiastic voter we talked to, who also believes the Young Texan was a "martyr" who was "unfairly punished" for his lies and deceit. We'll let readers decide whether or not this person, who we admit is purely hypothetical and hopefully is not represented by any actual Atlasians, is a mental midget.

While it is true that the public now hates the Federalist Party, to be fair it also seems that the Federalist Party hates the public. In a widely publicized scandal, they were lifting up an official who didn't want to win just to maintain their majority - and it appears that they succeeded despite the widespread backlash. We reached out to two people for statements. I.I.B.P. Aaron Zona, the Governor-Elect of Lincoln, we decided not to publish due to spelling mistakes. Secretary of State Raisin Reactionary, however, had perfect spelling when he said, "I didn't read your question, but the Federalists are in the right here and everyone else is in the wrong, and it has never been any different during all of Atlasia's history."

Despite the wishful thinking of some people, it appears that the Federalist Party is in trouble heading forward. Whether it is because the elections were closer than expected, tensions between factions of the party leading to rivalries and hate, or their deepening unpopularity among the Atlasian public, their downward spiral shows no signs of stopping any time soon. We can still hold out hope that at least NeverAgain is happy, wherever he is.

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THIS IS TREASON

Anyone who has been paying attention to Atlasia knows about the charges being brought against Nina Jay, but what they don't know is the full story behind it. After reading this, you still won't know the full story, but you will know who actually committed treason, and Nina Jay is not that person.

The Lincoln Government has a Discord where they mainly discuss bills. In that Discord, there are seven members: Polly Masters, Louis V. Thunder, Michael Wells, Aaron Zona, Jimmy Smith, Reagan Clinton, and Nina Jay. However, there used to be an eighth member of that Discord. Bernard Wulfric joined on March 13, 2018 to great fanfare by myself, who was suspicious of his presence, but he simply confirmed that it was in fact the Wulfric and attributed his invitation to the Discord to Jimmy Smith.

While he was a member of the Discord, he had access to a bunch of public records, starting from February 22, 2018. At least they are public records if you ask our respectable Attorney General Oakley Vale. However, on March 21, he was nowhere to be found in the list of members of the Discord. He had left the Discord.

What he did was perhaps closer to the dictionary definition of deletion of public records than what Avery Ose did a few years back. And we will lay it out to you just how this works. On March 19, we know that Wulfric had access to everything the Lincoln government did on Discord (including some specific "motion" that has generated a touch of controversy). If you asked him for a screenshot or some logs, he would have been able to provide one for you easily. On March 21, Wulfric would be very pressed if you asked him the same question.

The public records were at first accessible from his computer or phone, but because of his own actions, they are no longer accessible to him. It is clear that he has literally deleted public records and should face punishment at least equal to what Nina Jay eventually faces through his trial.

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New article coming soon - just in time for the midterms. It's a completely real news story - involving Louisville Thunder.

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New article coming soon - just in time for the midterms. It's a completely real news story - involving Louisville Thunder.

Just saying that LT knows what he did, and he had better apologize in his speech or this article is going up.

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We were going to wait for Mr. Thunder to attempt to apologize for what he did but we realized that we were too vague considering he has done a lot, and at any rate after witnessing one of his attempts at apology we have decided not to convince him to subject us to any more. So here is the article:

THE TRUTH ABOUT LOUIS V. THUNDER

With the Lincoln Senate race in full swing, we were very much excited to endorse the populist Louis V. Thunder campaign until we decided to do a bit of research into his candidacy. What we found was a ton of dirt, in pretty much every area you can think of. This has already been alluded to by numerous people, including our own editor-in-chief, who has decided to act so sanctimonious about it in public, the prick.

But the only thing that we knew for sure he had not done was murder someone. Right? WRONG!

As it turns out the answer lies once again in what the mainstream lamestream shamestream media has attempted to hide from you the whole time. It also happens to be in Thunder's home state of Kentucky. You may recall in the final days of Yankee's presidency, there was a subtle stirring in certain informed circles about a mass murder that occurred in Kentucky. Unluckily for us "fact-checkers" deemed it never happened and the mainstream lamestream shamestream media buried it under coverage of the dfw upset (aptly named because it upset all that was right) the next month.

We decided to visit the small Kentucky town where the massacre occurred on a Sunday, and there we found a mass occurring. We asked the church members about the event and they looked at us with sad looks on their faces, which we took as clear proof that the events had happened. When we inquired with a townsperson by the name of Kelly at the bar, they told us that the perpetrator of the Bowling Green Massacre was none other than Louis V. Thunder himself.

With this new information in mind, how can the voters think for a second of choosing such a dirty politician? He's got the corruption, evil schemes, nasty comments, murders, and perfect attendance record! What a dangerous combination, especially for the poor common folks of Atlasia, who just want a Senator who cares about people, not murder them or say mean things about them.

We urge all Lincoln citizens not to vote for anybody, but with somebody. And that somebody is their conscience. If you are Senator Thunder and do not have one, then we are confident that you will be able to vote for yourself without any worries.

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I was hoping you would bite on my post in the Tower thread to make something hilarious about Oakvale's departure from the House.

We do find it concerning that you apparently lock people who aren't sufficiently swampy in a tower. Perhaps we are in need of a special investigation.

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Oh hell yeah bitcj

We know you all thought that the swamp had gotten the best of us, that we had been successfully silenced. This is somewhat true, our editor-in-chief himself has been forced by the swamp to leave certain positions to be replaced by the more impressionable and easy to convert Ninja. Recently, however, the esteemed editor-in-chief has decided that the vague threats the swamp may or may not have given him will silence him no longer!

A spectre is haunting Atlasia. And we intend to cover it in great detail.

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WHY IS LIBERTY LOVER JOINING PUP?

In the past we've seen Doof F. W. Liberty Lover express varying opinions on the same issues, often in rapid succession. Yet this time, Vice President Lover has managed to astound us with an honestly confusing move. Just a few short hours ago, Lover registered under the Progressive Union Party, which quite recently has shown itself not to be very progressive or much of a union, and it probably doesn’t feel like much of a party right now. This move is mystifying since we were very assured that Lover had finally settled on a few things for once. Those core values were: centrism and his own ego. Now he has joined a party that is hopefully not centrist and won't stroke his ego for an unknown reason. We have two theories:

1. He joined it for the reasons he stated. While unlikely, whatever has occurred may be his motivation. On Atlas, he stated that he has “become aware of things.” When pressed to be more specific, he told us private “shady plots!” Other sources told us “it’s complicated.” I’ll say it is.
 
2. Yankee wants more votes. While also unlikely, this one makes sense, because the sheer power of the Federalist/Progressive Union joint ticket that we have in Atlasia now is just too much to handle. The entire swamp is represented in one ticket and I shudder to think of the percent of the vote this could get. 70%? 80%? More? Especially against such a weak ticket as AZ/uhh i forgot. Hopefully someone better announces, but I wouldn’t know who that would be.

As a bonus:

3. He's literally gone insane. The unexpected and baffling decision. The vague and rambling reasoning. Do you have any better ideas?

Either way, let’s hope that PUP isn’t very kind to what is obviously some scheme on the part of the VP of a Federalist administration. They are an opposition party, aren't they?

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Yankee was already getting 70-80% of the vote anyway.

Hindsight is 20/20. This sight was 20/100 or something.