Update Season VII: "The OK Corral"

[Mr. Morden]

I'll be able to relax this weekend.

I thought you cancelled your porn subscriptions?

[Mr. Morden]

I hope everyone has enjoyed their day with their Mom.

Gee, thanks for rubbing in the fact that my Mom lives on a different continent, and I can't spend a day with her.  



We did have a video chat though.

EDIT: Actually, that's a good point Bushie.  Considering that even the move to Utah apparently made you homesick...when/if you move to Kenya, make sure to get a computer with a camera in it, and see if you can do the same for your parents, so you can have video chats over Google+ or Skype while you're away.  If you're actually not moving until 2016, then all the better.  That stuff will surely be pretty cheap by then.

[Mr. Morden]

Bushie, you should take some kind of video recording device with you on to Kenya, then film everything and record a commentary track.  Put it up on Youtube, and become an internet sensation.  You're a master storyteller, so I'm sure it would generate interest.  Maybe even get a reality TV show deal out of it.

[Mr. Morden]

Out of the Doctor.  He gave me a referral to the Indian Dietician and Wellness Center.  One of the perks of being an Indian I just found out is a free gym, free athletic trainer, free Dietician!!

You're not an Indian.  And once again, you're defrauding people who actually need these resources, based on a technicality.  The fact that you're excited about it is pretty sickening.

You're right, I am mostly white and the Indian Medicine is not based on me.  It is based on my Indian Heritage and that my heritage is really fairly recent, only 5 generations removed from full blood.  That's only what 100-125 years?  When you're talking about the history of civilization, one century is a drop in the bucket.  Why shouldn't I be able to benefit from my family heritage?  Isn't that what an inheritance is?

Only 1/32nd of your DNA is Indian.  The Indian medicine should only be used for that part of you.  The other 31/32nds of your DNA should apply for Medicaid.

[Mr. Morden]

Out of the Doctor.  He gave me a referral to the Indian Dietician and Wellness Center.  One of the perks of being an Indian I just found out is a free gym, free athletic trainer, free Dietician!!

You're not an Indian.  And once again, you're defrauding people who actually need these resources, based on a technicality.  The fact that you're excited about it is pretty sickening.

You're right, I am mostly white and the Indian Medicine is not based on me.  It is based on my Indian Heritage and that my heritage is really fairly recent, only 5 generations removed from full blood.  That's only what 100-125 years?  When you're talking about the history of civilization, one century is a drop in the bucket.  Why shouldn't I be able to benefit from my family heritage?  Isn't that what an inheritance is?

Only 1/32nd of your DNA is Indian.  The Indian medicine should only be used for that part of you.  The other 31/32nds of your DNA should apply for Medicaid.

I don't believe I would qualify for Medicaid.  Native American Tribes are uber rich thanks to all the tribal casinos which there are many.  I'm not exactly draining their funds.  Plus, I feel better taking advantage of what my family tree allows me to take advantage of rather than draining Medicaid funds which I doubt is any near as wealthy as most Indian tribes.

Have you done anything to celebrate your Native American heritage other than use the free medical services?  Do you personally know anyone who identifies as Native American, or participate in their culture at all?

[Mr. Morden]

I'm going to address both Inks and Kal in this post:
.
.
.
Patrick,

And will you address Bacon King's points about P Diddy, and Spock's sacrifice?  You seem to be ignoring him.

[Mr. Morden]

I love how Bushie always gets "small" hamburgers every time he describes what he eats! I mean, he could've gone for the grilled chicken, but that's not our Bushie!

Maybe he's afraid that if he starts eating chicken, he'll be responsible for too many chicken deaths.  Cows are so big, that it takes quite a few hamburgers before you're responsible for the death of a single cow.  But with chickens, it only takes a few meals before you have a chicken death on your conscience.

[Mr. Morden]

Obviously Bushie isn't going to weigh 200 pounds ever, so why harp on him?

I'm glad he's moving to Kenya, because he should be as close to the equator as possible.  He needs to be closest to where the centrifugal force of the Earth's rotation is greatest, so that he can weigh a little less.  He should try to move somewhere at high altitude on the equator to maximize the effect.

[Mr. Morden]

My attempt to Bacon King this thread:

What did you get at Micky D's, Bushie?

A small hamburger, no fries, and a drink.

[Mr. Morden]

Eating at Golden Corral wont help you achieve you dreams.

It will help that I haven't had anything to eat today up until this outing.

[Mr. Morden]

If I do go up to Alva, I will try to get into a low-rent apartment around town.

[Mr. Morden]

OK, last one for now:

Yes, I need to find one thing and stick to it, but to think that it is somehow not normal to still be searching for one's calling is ludicrous

[Mr. Morden]

The net symbolizes your goals.

The jumping man is you.

His rolls of fat are your rolls of fat and also symbolizes your numerous habits that are unhealthy for you mentally and physically.

The mat is your dependency on others because you're unable to take care of yourself.

Well, if you're going to be all explicit about it, I guess I'll go along as well, with regard to my picture of the wallaby and the toilet paper:



The wallaby is Bushie.  The house it's in is Kenya.  It has to use the bathroom, but can't figure out how to use the toilet, or toilet paper, and just keeps looking through roll after rool of toilet paper for its calling.  It's not realizing that it's a wallaby, should probably be outside hopping around to lose weight, should focus on dreams that it's more suited to that don't have to do with Kenya, and that it's just making life more difficult for those who need to use the bathroom right now, and for whom there won't be any toilet paper left.

[Mr. Morden]

I have everything figured out toward the last of this decade in beyond.

!!!

[Mr. Morden]

Sadly, due to legalities, members of the Atlas Forum can't offer you drugs either.

God is stronger than legalities.

[Mr. Morden]

Its going to take time and fruit to convince everybody.

[Mr. Morden]

Its going to take time and fruit to convince everybody.

Fruit can be translated evidence.  Evidence that I've actually done something...

Not if it's those bananas that went bad, that you never threw out!

[Mr. Morden]

Its going to take time and fruit to convince everybody.

I'll take a mango.  Or some blackberries.

Time (and fruit) heals all wounds (and hunger).  A stitch in time (and fruit) saves nine (and an unhealthy diet).  Time (and fruit) flies when you're having fun (and a catapult).

I leave you with a representation of Bushie clinging to his parents for survival:

[Mr. Morden]

Only I know what is really going on (and sometimes, I'm not quite sure of that, either).

[Mr. Morden]

Only I know what is really going on (and sometimes, I'm not quite sure of that, either).

You're not as good as Bacon King. 

Oh yeah, well:

[Mr. Morden]

Guys, you know he isn't going to volunteer or anything. That would interfere with nap time!

[Mr. Morden]

Yeah, why are you going to your cousins every night to help her put her kids to bed?

Because his own kids are in Kenya, and he needs to put someone's kids to be every night.  Doesn't that make sense?

[Mr. Morden]

Honestly she doesn't sound like a very good dietician. She likes the idea that he's trying to reduce his soda intake?! Just tell him to stop drinking non-diet soda, jesus christ it's not that hard, both taste like fizzy syrup water.

Keep in mind, these recommendations have been filtered through Bushie's brain.  Since we weren't actually present at the discussion, we don't know exactly what words the dietician used.

[Mr. Morden]

Also, I wasn't really trying with capitalization!

Summary of this thread.

[Mr. Morden]

Also, I wasn't really trying with capitalization!

Summary of this thread.

Do you doubt Bushie's existence? I don't find his story all that difficult to believe.

He's lied many times.  He's admitted to many lies, usually after he's called out on something.  There are presumably other lies that he's never admitted to, because he wasn't caught.  So yeah, I'm sure some of what he says is true and some isn't.  Not worth trying to sort out what goes into which category.