Would you allow your 16-year-old to have sex?

[dead0man]

It would be none of my business.

unless they are mentally handicapped, this is the answer.  I mean, I wouldn't encourage it, but punishing it is insane in any world.  If the ages fail the "half plus seven" rule, I'd warn them about that and would certainly be against anything in groups or filmed, but just fooling around with High School sweetheart? Ain't nothing wrong with that.

[dead0man]

Are we ever going to get the story from the OP that spawned this thread?  Your "my mom sucks, here's how" series of threads is one of the best here.  Certainly better than that one guy's series of polls asking "which is better? good thing or bad thing".

[dead0man]

Are we ever going to get the story from the OP that spawned this thread?  Your "my mom sucks, here's how" series of threads is one of the best here.  Certainly better than that one guy's series of polls asking "which is better? good thing or bad thing".

My mom forbade me from talking to girls when I was ~8-18 years old.

oh yeah, I think you mentioned that in one of the early threads.  That's crazy, of course.  How did she pull it off?  Were there not girls at school or in the neighborhood?

[dead0man]

Everything a minor child does is a parent’s business

no, no it's not....and that's a good thing for both the child and the parent.  Did you not keep things from your parents when you were a kid?


It's weird to me, that everyone is a child, yet so many totally forget what it's like to be one when they turn into an adult.  Some kids/parents want to be in each other's business, but, at least in my experience, most kids/parents are not like that.  Maybe I'm biased.  Maybe it's just that that was the type of family I grew up in.  And maybe those are the kinds of kids and parents that I was and am attracted to.  Maybe some wider cultural reasons for it too.

To clarify, here's two situations I had in mind:

1. Your 16-year-old comes home with a box of condoms and their significant other. They want to have a sleepover.

2. You open the door to your 16-year-old's room and see them in the act (having had no idea beforehand).

I agree with politicallefty and Crumpets

1. Awesome, I'm happy they're using safer sex methods. It's none of my business thereafter and I hope they have a good night.

2. I can't imagine having no idea before. Um, immediately close the door and walk away. Either pretend that nothing happened or have a very casual conversation if it came up (particularly about safer sex). Maybe buy some condoms for said teen or discuss birth control. I feel there are a lot of ways to approach this without making everyone feel too uncomfortable.

16 yo are basically adults.  Sure, they're idiots and bounce between extreme over and under confidence (by the way, that never ends, you just get better at recognizing it), but they should be in charge of their own day-to-day safety, their own upkeep of their stuff and their body, their own finances.  They shouldn't have any problem approaching you for help in any of these and the parent should give advice or assist when needed.  But those last few teenage years at home should be practice for being an independent adult.  They should be washing their own clothes, preparing their own meals, buying their own entertainment.