Would you allow your 16-year-old to have sex?

[OSR stands with Israel]

Absolutely not. As long as they live under my roof, no. After they leave the nest, what they do is their business, but I’ll still voice my disappointment/concern if they’re doing it before marriage.

lol please never have children

Um what ,

My parents have  the same exact rule Yellowhammer says he would have  and so where the parents of almost all my friends.

Guess what I had the best, nicest and most loving parents you could ever have , and every one of my friends thinks the same about their parents as well.

How do you actually enforce such a rule? Assuming your parents would even be able to discover that you did such a thing in the first place, what would they do about it?

Grounding for months and not letting you go out alone till your 18 . That’s how parents can enforce such a rule .


It was never a problem for my parents though , since I have the same beliefs on this issue as them and always have . They didn’t even have to tell me that rule , since I again have the same belief in this as them , it was more in a conversation of how parents can stop their kids from having sex or really any types of extremely  inappropriate behavior

So make their lives hell for doing something that teenagers naturally do.

Um no it’s punishing them for extremely inappropriate behavior , just like they would punish them for underage drinking at a party

[Boobs]

Um no it’s punishing them for extremely inappropriate behavior , just like they would punish them for underage drinking at a party

Neither sex nor underage drinking are examples of “extremely inappropriate behavior.” Stealing? Yes. Doing hard drugs? Sure. Drinking some sh**tty 4% ABV beer at a friend’s house? Nah. It’s not the 1600s anymore, Abigail Williams wants her Puritan bonnet back.

[Ban my account ffs!]

Um no it’s punishing them for extremely inappropriate behavior , just like they would punish them for underage drinking at a party

Neither sex nor underage drinking are examples of “extremely inappropriate behavior.” Stealing? Yes. Doing hard drugs? Sure. Drinking some sh**tty 4% ABV beer at a friend’s house? Nah. It’s not the 1600s anymore, Abigail Williams wants her Puritan bonnet back.

Different strokes for different folks...and apparently NO STROKES WHATSOEVER SO HELP YOU GOD for even more different folks.

[Co-Chair Bagel23]

Um no it’s punishing them for extremely inappropriate behavior , just like they would punish them for underage drinking at a party

Neither sex nor underage drinking are examples of “extremely inappropriate behavior.” Stealing? Yes. Doing hard drugs? Sure. Drinking some sh**tty 4% ABV beer at a friend’s house? Nah. It’s not the 1600s anymore, Abigail Williams wants her Puritan bonnet back.

Nah, I was raised in a more conservative household in this aspect. I don’t plan on having kids, but if I did and I caught them drinking beer underage they would get paddled.

[S019]

No (sane, normal)

[courts]

obviously

[Some of My Best Friends Are Gay]

This question is dumb to begin with.

Like, what 16 year old is going to come to their mom or dad and be like; "Yo, do you mind if I f**ck this (guy/girl)"?


You can't "allow" your 16 year old kid to have sex, that's not how this works.

[Goldwater]

Um no it’s punishing them for extremely inappropriate behavior , just like they would punish them for underage drinking at a party

Neither sex nor underage drinking are examples of “extremely inappropriate behavior.” Stealing? Yes. Doing hard drugs? Sure. Drinking some sh**tty 4% ABV beer at a friend’s house? Nah. It’s not the 1600s anymore, Abigail Williams wants her Puritan bonnet back.

Nah, I was raised in a more conservative household in this aspect. I don’t plan on having kids, but if I did and I caught them drinking beer underage they would get paddled.

Good thing you don't plan on having kids.

[Blue3]

Age of 16 is the age of consent basically everywhere in the US, right? So wouldn't it be illegal for anyone to "forbid" someone who's come of age from having sex?

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

Age of 16 is the age of consent basically everywhere in the US, right? So wouldn't it be illegal for anyone to "forbid" someone who's come of age from having sex?

Not "basically everywhere" although it should be. Of course, it's also legal for the parents to throw that person out of their home and not make provisions for the jobless moocher just looking for a life of debauchery.

[Santander]

Age of 16 is the age of consent basically everywhere in the US, right? So wouldn't it be illegal for anyone to "forbid" someone who's come of age from having sex?

Um, just because something happens to be legal, doesn't mean it's illegal to set up house rules that don't allow it. The law are the state's rules, not personal rules. How can you be this dense?

[John Dule]

Absolutely not. As long as they live under my roof, no. After they leave the nest, what they do is their business, but I’ll still voice my disappointment/concern if they’re doing it before marriage.

lol please never have children

Don't worry, the vast majority of people on this site will never be burdened with the opportunity for reproduction.

Also, to answer this thread's question, it absolutely depends on the person. If it's someone of a similar age who they love and trust, then yes. But I would not want my 16-year-old hooking up with someone in their 20's.

[darklordoftech]

To clarify, here's two situations I had in mind:

1. Your 16-year-old comes home with a box of condoms and their significant other. They want to have a sleepover.

2. You open the door to your 16-year-old's room and see them in the act (having had no idea beforehand).

[OSR stands with Israel]

To clarify, here's two situations I had in mind:

1. Your 16-year-old comes home with a box of condoms and their significant other. They want to have a sleepover.

2. You open the door to your 16-year-old's room and see them in the act (having had no idea beforehand).

1. I would forbid them to have the sleepover , and would have a chat with their Girlfriend's/Boyfriend's   parents

2. Would demand my kid's Girlfriend /Boyfriend to leave immedaitly , would have a chat their parents and then punish my kid.



Of course to some people, this will be "purtian" while to me its just sanity

[Skunk]

I would be happy if my 16-year-old was having sex, because it'd mean they'd never see my posting history here on account of them not being virgins.

[politicallefty]

I'm with the majority here that questions the word "allow".

To clarify, here's two situations I had in mind:

1. Your 16-year-old comes home with a box of condoms and their significant other. They want to have a sleepover.

2. You open the door to your 16-year-old's room and see them in the act (having had no idea beforehand).

1. Awesome, I'm happy they're using safer sex methods. It's none of my business thereafter and I hope they have a good night.

2. I can't imagine having no idea before. Um, immediately close the door and walk away. Either pretend that nothing happened or have a very casual conversation if it came up (particularly about safer sex). Maybe buy some condoms for said teen or discuss birth control. I feel there are a lot of ways to approach this without making everyone feel too uncomfortable.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

This question is dumb to begin with.

Like, what 16 year old is going to come to their mom or dad and be like; "Yo, do you mind if I f**ck this (guy/girl)"?

I think it should require a written consent from the parent, properly verified by the county clerk.

[Crumpets]

To clarify, here's two situations I had in mind:

1. Your 16-year-old comes home with a box of condoms and their significant other. They want to have a sleepover.

2. You open the door to your 16-year-old's room and see them in the act (having had no idea beforehand).

1. I'd probably raise an eyebrow, and say something like "I'm not sure our house is the best place for your sleepover." Mostly just 1) out of deference to their SO, who would probably find a weekend getaway more romantic, 2) so that everyone involved would find it less awkward, especially if I wasn't able to spend the night somewhere else and 3) I wouldn't trust a 16 year old to clean up properly, and I wouldn't want to have to deal with that.

If their SO wasn't there, I'd probably also have a conversation about "are you sure you're ready for this?" especially if they hadn't been dating very long. I can always pull the "I dated a girl for a year when I was your age, and we never once had a 'sleepover'" card if I really want to guilt them, but I wouldn't push it too hard. Making sex out into some colossal, life-changing thing really just puts a stigma on having real discussions and asking questions.

2.

I can't imagine having no idea before. Um, immediately close the door and walk away. Either pretend that nothing happened or have a very casual conversation if it came up (particularly about safer sex). Maybe buy some condoms for said teen or discuss birth control. I feel there are a lot of ways to approach this without making everyone feel too uncomfortable.

[Blue3]

This question is dumb to begin with.

Like, what 16 year old is going to come to their mom or dad and be like; "Yo, do you mind if I f**ck this (guy/girl)"?

I think it should require a written consent from the parent, properly verified by the county clerk.

It should be illegal for a parent to “not allow” their 16 year old to have sex. Fine the parent $1000 if they object or attempt to enforce this on them.

We need to go to extreme measures to reject the nanny state and the culture that perpetuates it, not the opposite direction.

[7,052,770]

I'm with the majority here that questions the word "allow".

To clarify, here's two situations I had in mind:

1. Your 16-year-old comes home with a box of condoms and their significant other. They want to have a sleepover.

2. You open the door to your 16-year-old's room and see them in the act (having had no idea beforehand).

1. Awesome, I'm happy they're using safer sex methods. It's none of my business thereafter and I hope they have a good night.

2. I can't imagine having no idea before. Um, immediately close the door and walk away. Either pretend that nothing happened or have a very casual conversation if it came up (particularly about safer sex). Maybe buy some condoms for said teen or discuss birth control. I feel there are a lot of ways to approach this without making everyone feel too uncomfortable.

It is your business, though, because if your 16-year-old winds up pregnant/impregnating someone else, you're going to be dealing with the consequences of that for the rest of your life.

[Crumpets]

I'm with the majority here that questions the word "allow".

To clarify, here's two situations I had in mind:

1. Your 16-year-old comes home with a box of condoms and their significant other. They want to have a sleepover.

2. You open the door to your 16-year-old's room and see them in the act (having had no idea beforehand).

1. Awesome, I'm happy they're using safer sex methods. It's none of my business thereafter and I hope they have a good night.

2. I can't imagine having no idea before. Um, immediately close the door and walk away. Either pretend that nothing happened or have a very casual conversation if it came up (particularly about safer sex). Maybe buy some condoms for said teen or discuss birth control. I feel there are a lot of ways to approach this without making everyone feel too uncomfortable.

It is your business, though, because if your 16-year-old winds up pregnant/impregnating someone else, you're going to be dealing with the consequences of that for the rest of your life.

I get where you're coming from, but this is a poor argument. Any parent will be "dealing with the consequences" of their child becoming a parent for the rest of their life. My grandparents are still "dealing with the consequences" of my parents having me in their 30s 25 years ago. Plus, this really only comes into play if they're having unprotected sex. Parents should try their best to make sure that if their teen has sex that it's safe sex, and that the teen understands the possible consequences of having unprotected sex, but the fact that they're sexually active at all really isn't their parents' business unless they're doing something illegal or actively dangerous.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

This question is dumb to begin with.

Like, what 16 year old is going to come to their mom or dad and be like; "Yo, do you mind if I f**ck this (guy/girl)"?

I think it should require a written consent from the parent, properly verified by the county clerk.

It should be illegal for a parent to “not allow” their 16 year old to have sex. Fine the parent $1000 if they object or attempt to enforce this on them.

We need to go to extreme measures to reject the nanny state and the culture that perpetuates it, not the opposite direction.

You are literally proposing a nanny state. It's just that you want to nanny the parents instead of the children.

[Fuzzy Bear]

Yes, any dad would be proud of his son for that

I was not proud of either of my adult boys when they announced to me that they had sex while in high school.  And, a generation later, I would not be proud of my younger son (he's 14 next week) having sex at his age, at 16, or at any time outside of marriage.  Nor would my father, had he been alive, have been proud of me in such a situation.  My stepfather made it clear to me that if I did something stupid like this, he would require me to work to support the child, suggesting to me that a "night of pleasure" wouldn't be worth the responsibility that came with it.  

I will also tell the folks here with their heads in the sand that, in most states, the law requires parents to intervene and do something about the situation.  To simply allow your teenager to be sexually active, consenting or not, can rise to the level of child neglect if one is willfully blind, which, in turn, is a criminal offense in most states.  (It is a 3rd degree felony in Florida.)  Mom and Dad, the law REQUIRES you to do something here, because children in high school aren't supposed to be having sex.  That's a real newsflash for a number of folks here, but it's the truth.

Sex is not a "natural act" for teenagers.  Taking a crap is a natural act.  Sex is an act that requires forethought and consideration.  Today's teenagers live in an environment that is sexually overstimulated; they would not be as overstimulated as they are if they lived in a more modest society.  Sex is also an act that creates a bond and implies a promise (Kilpatrick, 1991).  Traumatic instances aside, the sort of bonds implied by sexual activity and the sort of promise they implies are bonds that young teenagers are simply not ready for.  (It's pretty amazing that one has to sell this out.)  

No, I am not going to be OK with sexual activity with any minor child of mine.  A parent is not supposed to be OK with that.  And a parent is supposed to take steps to stop it if it's going on, and to prevent it from going on in the first place.  What I'm stunned about is the idea that this is a foreign concept to the majority of Atlas.

[Blue3]

For thousands if not millions of years, most humans became parents in their teenage years.

Now, that doesn't make it right necessarily. But let's not go down the "it's not natural" path.

[Fuzzy Bear]

For thousands if not millions of years, most humans became parents in their teenage years.

Now, that doesn't make it right necessarily. But let's not go down the "it's not natural" path.

Is it "natural" for kids to grow up with no rules and become feral kids?

Or is it natural for a parent to attempt to equip a child to make decisions that lead to safety, security, and an existence that makes sense?