You Have Two Cows

[Lunar]

Lunarism: You have two cows. You're a pussy.

Meekerism: You have two cows.  Actually, they could be trangendered bulls, you really don't know because you're a dick.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Benconstinism: You have two cows and you're offended beyonf any recongition, when someone calles them a liberals

[Teddy (IDS Legislator)]

Sorry to bump this old thread, but

Teddyism

You have two cows. You wonder how they will fit into the apartment.

[k-onmmunist]

Bump.

Rochembeauism: You have two cows. They give milk. I hope this didn't offend anyone.

Jewish Conservatism: You have two cows, but they have to be shot when you find out they're Palestinian.

Antoniovism: You have two cows. You nominate them to the HAEV when they vote for a Populare.

[courts]

USA: You have two cows, because that's all you can really afford and organic food is a 'big money making opportunity' (or so you've heard). You try to sell their unpasteurized milk locally to yuppies and well meaning granola-crunching college students. The FDA raids you for not being sanitary, while the factory farm getting tax payer money a few miles away recalls millions of tainted eggs the inspectors ignored. You try to go 'legit' but go bankrupt from the new fees, ordinances and federal regulations you do decide to comply with, while people 'too big to fail' are again given 'emergency loans' (with your tax money). Everyone tells you that you should feel great to live in the freest country in the world, while you're living out of your car.

[TheDeadFlagBlues]

I'm cool enough to have an ism.

[King]

Our founding fathers would want us to kill both cows because owning cows is socialism, and by not having any cows, our economy will be jumpstarted by its need to purchase cows.

[courts]

Our founding fathers would want us to kill both cows because owning cows is socialism, and by not having any cows, our economy will be jumpstarted by its need to purchase cows.

Neoliberalism?

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

Atlasism: You have two cows. One of them is banned and the other won't stop bitching about it.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Sarkozism : You have two cows. They are almost starving. You tell them that, if they want to get more grass to eat, they first have to produce more milk. The cows obey and produce more milk. Meanwhile, you sell your land and have to move to a desert. So you tell your cows "sorry folks, but there's no grass anymore !". The cows then kick your ass.

[bore]

Forum Communityism- You have two cows and you think about asking them what their opinion of the music you're listening to is, but then you realise they don't care and go back to milking them.

[Teddy (IDS Legislator)]

Right-wing Ideology: You have two cows. You work them to death trying to make yourself money off them.
Left-wing Ideology: You have two cows. You work them to death trying to make everyone else money off them.
Pragmatism: You have two cows. You do what's best for the cows and they reward you and everyone by being productive.

[afleitch]

Labour;

You have two cows. You elect the wrong one to be leader.