You Have Two Cows

[Antonio the Sixth]

DWTLism: You have two cows and spend your time trying to convince other people that they should give you their cows. During this time, Pit stealsyour cows.

Man crush has gone completely overboard at this point

You really feel offended ? That's quite ridiculous coming from you.

Oh, wait. Sorry. I thought I was speaking with the old DWTL, the arrogant manipulative bully, instead of the new one, a poor innocent victim of the Evil conspiracy.

[DownWithTheLeft]

DWTLism: You have two cows and spend your time trying to convince other people that they should give you their cows. During this time, Pit stealsyour cows.

Man crush has gone completely overboard at this point

You really feel offended ? That's quite ridiculous coming from you.

Oh, wait. Sorry. I thought I was speaking with the old DWTL, the arrogant manipulative bully, instead of the new one, a poor innocent victim of the Evil conspiracy.

I'm not offended, I'm disturbed

[RIP Robert H Bork]

Someone make up an "Opeboism" version.

You already did:

Opebo: You have two cows. You brag about this to people with no cows, then you advocate policies to help the people with no cows while doing nothing to help them yourself. Meanwhile you sell the cows and use the money to go pick up prostitutes while you complain the religious right has stopped you from owning more cows.

Sadly, that summarizes perfectly what's wrong with opebo.

[Mechaman]

Mechamanism: You have two cows, you sell the two cows to your neighbor for illicit drugs and sex with the neighbor's daughter. The next day you open your closet and find.........

[Vepres]

SPCism: You own two cows, but they're not happy cows because they can't legally own nuclear warheads.

[k-onmmunist]

Animal rights: You have two cows. They eat you alive, you evil meat eating fascist.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Winstondisraelism: You have two cows and your neighbor complains of the noise they make. You shoot him for trying to censor your cows.

[k-onmmunist]

Winstondisraelism: You have two cows and your neighbor complains of the noise they make. You shoot him for trying to censor your cows.

Wooo!

[HappyWarrior]

What would be a HappyWarriorism? lol

[Antonio the Sixth]

What would be a HappyWarriorism? lol

Don't know you enough to say.

[Tender Branson]

What would be a HappyWarriorism? lol

Don't know you enough to say.

And Tenderism ?

[JSojourner]

Someone make up an "Opeboism" version.

opeboism: You have two cows and you allow people to have sex with them.

Opeboism:  You have two cows. Neither looks good in sexy lingerie.  You wish you could invest in a couple of sheep.  But you spent every last dime on a barely legal who said, "Me love you long time.  You fookie fookie me make numba one boom-boom".

BRTDism:   You have two cows.  You truck them into the suburbs, move them off the truck and lead them onto a well-manicured suburban lawn.  You blast emo music to upset them and then they crap the whole place up. You then create a thread about it here.

[k-onmmunist]

Starkism: You have two cows, but not for long because the evil Jewish conspiracy are planning to take them away.

[Antonio the Sixth]

What would be a HappyWarriorism? lol

Don't know you enough to say.

And Tenderism ?

You have two cows and spend your time on internet looking for the most detailed analysis and polls concerning cows. You obviously find Nate Silver's site.

[President Mitt]

What is Giovannism?

[Mechaman]

Now time for a new one!

Mechanism: You have two cows, you kill both of them because the MOOS annoy you. You go back for the bodies and hide them in your underground lair. You create tons of Jenkem (http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Jenkem) and you sell it to retarded teenagers to make a quick buck, you decide that is a sh*tty idea so you instead fake an attention deficit disorder and get a prescription for a friggin ridiculous amount of Ritalin that you sell again to retarded teenagers who are noobs at getting drugs. You go to the Junkyard and find some scrap metal and dead car batteries. Somehow with the $128.87 you raised by selling crappy drugs to teenagers you manage to buy 4 lightning rods, a Honda generator, two heart rate monitors, and a Special Edition DVD of Scarface. After watching Scarface while high on Heroin you go down to your underground lair and set up your contraption. When you first activate it (test run) you somehow create a force field causing you to nearly crap your pants at the awesomeness of the sight. Eventually you put two car batteries into the cows, cover their exposed areas with the crap metal turning them into half mechanical/half organic cows before hooking them up to the heart rate monitor machine and the Honda Generator and the lightning rods. You press a button and the roof of the underground lair opens up to a dark sky with tons of lightning falling down. You activate the machine as the lightning strikes the lightning rods and suddenly your cows are back to life, stronger, faster, harder, meaner, and leaner. However, Mother Nature won't forgive you taking the part of God and the Invincible Mechanical Cows turn on you and evaporate you with their eye lazers before escaping and then they take over the world after reaching Super Ascended Cow Level 5. The future of man, destroyed by two mechanical invincible cows........you bastard.

[Hash]

yay attention whores

[Vepres]

HappyWarriorism: You have two cows and they do nothing out of the ordinary. The end.

[○∙◄☻¥tπ[╪AV┼cVê└]

BART SIMPSONISM:

[Хahar 🤔]

yay attention whores

^^^^

[Platypus]

attentionwhoreism: You have to cows. Hey, look at you; you've got a couple of cows. No, really, that's so cool! Hey everyone, come and have a look at this guy's cows! THESE COWS ARE TOTALLY AWESOME. WHY DON'T YOU CARE?? Whatever. Trolls suck.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Hughentism: You have two cows and you sell them to buy a platypus.

[k-onmmunist]

yay attention whores

^^^^

Not surprised, coming from the two most obnoxious posters on the forum.

[Hash]

yay attention whores

^^^^

Not surprised, coming from the two most obnoxious posters on the forum.

Thanks. You're welcome.

[Alexander Hamilton]

What is Hamiltonism?