Character education

[Gabu]

In my schools, it was generally expected that teachers were called "Mr./Mrs./Ms./Miss (last name)" by the students, partly for respect and partly to establish the teacher as the man or woman who is in charge in the classroom.  Personally, I see nothing wrong with that; it's not exactly asking a whole lot, and it's just nice to the teachers.

I do, however, think that the words "sir" or "ma'am" are really kind of out of place in the modern world.  I don't know of anyone, young or old, who uses the terms "sir" or "ma'am" in a serious context.  If you're going to have the kids be respectful, at least make them be respectful in a way that actually exists in the real world.  Let's just keep it at "Mr./Mrs./Ms./Miss (last name)"; if we take it too far, people are going to be looking at these kids very strangely after they get out of school.

[Gabu]

I do, however, think that the words "sir" or "ma'am" are really kind of out of place in the modern world.  I don't know of anyone, young or old, who uses the terms "sir" or "ma'am" in a serious context.  If you're going to have the kids be respectful, at least make them be respectful in a way that actually exists in the real world.  Let's just keep it at "Mr./Mrs./Ms./Miss (last name)"; if we take it too far, people are going to be looking at these kids very strangely after they get out of school.

Maybe in Canada but certainly not here.

I can't say I've ever heard an American say "sir" or "ma'am" either, but maybe I've just been seeing the wrong people.

Actually, come to think of it, guys behind cash registers routinely say that in both countries, but I kinda wish they wouldn't.  It always makes me feel weird.

[Gabu]

Actually, come to think of it, guys behind cash registers routinely say that in both countries, but I kinda wish they wouldn't.  It always makes me feel weird.

I don't suppose you've been addressed as the wrong one (in your case, ma'am) before? It happens to me so much that it's rather annoying.

Not by a guy behind the cash register, but I have been addressed repeatedly as the wrong sex by restaurant waitresses who look at my mom, and then my ponytail, and then launch into the spiel of "Good evening, ladies, our special tonight..."

[Gabu]

I'd address them in the way I address my dog personally.

I don't think teachers would like it very much if you said "Here, boy!" to them.

[Gabu]

Wow, from the response here it sounds like the Northeast and northwest are terrible places to live. No one says "sir" or "ma'am". Do you people even bother to hold doors open for women or open car doors for women anymore? No wonder they say northerners are so brash.

I'm polite to women.  I just don't call them "ma'am" because everyone I know would look at me very strangely if I did.

[Gabu]

Wow, from the response here it sounds like the Northeast and northwest are terrible places to live. No one says "sir" or "ma'am". Do you people even bother to hold doors open for women or open car doors for women anymore? No wonder they say northerners are so brash.

Opening doors for women is condescending to them.

No it is not, and it shouldn't be sexist either.

Certainly; it is not sexist, but chivalrous.

It depends on the woman, really.  Some enjoy having guys open doors for them.  Others see it as an encroachment on their independence.  There's no one right or wrong thing to do.

[Gabu]

Wow, from the response here it sounds like the Northeast and northwest are terrible places to live. No one says "sir" or "ma'am". Do you people even bother to hold doors open for women or open car doors for women anymore? No wonder they say northerners are so brash.

Opening doors for women is condescending to them.

No it is not, and it shouldn't be sexist either.

Certainly; it is not sexist, but chivalrous.

It depends on the woman, really.  Some enjoy having guys open doors for them.  Others see it as an encroachment on their independence. 

If they are so independent, they should 1. get to the door faster and 2. not be so uptight about a gesture that may or may not have anything to do with their gender.

Well, I'm just saying that it's an action that's intended to be helpful, and if it's not helpful and is actually the opposite, then it doesn't exactly serve its intended purpose and should not be done.  Obviously, if it's just some random female off the street, then you couldn't know, and it would not be a bad idea to just assume that she'll appreciate it, but if it's someone who you know dislikes that sort of behavior, it seems to me that it would not exactly be impolite not to do it.

[Gabu]

Wow, from the response here it sounds like the Northeast and northwest are terrible places to live. No one says "sir" or "ma'am". Do you people even bother to hold doors open for women or open car doors for women anymore? No wonder they say northerners are so brash.

I'm polite to women.  I just don't call them "ma'am" because everyone I know would look at me very strangely if I did.

I've had several supervisors (female) who got very upset with me when I called them "Ma'am."  It was considered inappropriate.

My oldest daughter says "yes sir" and "yes ma'am" to every grown adult whenever they ask her a question. I don't see how I am doing "the wrong thing" in teaching her that.

If it's fine where you live, by all means, go ahead.  All I'm saying is that if it isn't common in another location, then teaching kids to do so regardless is not really helping them.

[Gabu]

Manners are all a matter of context. No single formula works (nor should it) in every situation.

Yes, if you want a good example of this, it's considered very rude in North America to let out a big belch at the dinner table.  In other areas in the world, however, it's considered extremely complimentary to the chef to do so.

[Gabu]

I'm just mocking you. Every year yankees come down here saying "Well we don't do it this way up NORTH".

What?  We don't do it that way up NORTH.