Update Season VIII - "Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!"

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

What's with all these good Christian brides having children out of wedlock? I don't know anyone that's had a kid out of wedlock in my sinful, secular environment.

Weddings are for rich people. Has very little to do with religion either way.

What? That's the first time I've ever heard that only the rich get married...

[memphis]

What's with all these good Christian brides having children out of wedlock? I don't know anyone that's had a kid out of wedlock in my sinful, secular environment.

Weddings are for rich people. Has very little to do with religion either way.

What? That's the first time I've ever heard that only the rich get married...

http://mobile.nytimes.com/blogs/economix/2012/02/06/marriage-is-for-rich-people/

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

There are no tigers in Kenya.

It's still better than Norway.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Did every pastor in Jokelahama refuse to marry these people that they had to turn to Bushie, and is Bushie licensed to perform weddings?  Why didn't your infamous pastor cousin marry them?

I am licensed to perform weddings.  The couple chose me rather than him.

[King]

This title fcuking stinks.

"Upd8: The Laughing Headache Continues"

[Joe Biden 2020]

It is just after 1430 and I will be starting my evening in about 20-25 minutes.  I was going to go out to the State Health Department and get my anti-malarial medicine, but my friend who is a nurse and is also going asked her doctor that she works with to send a prescription of Malerone to a local pharmacy a little closer to me.  It will cost me $60 for 10 pills, but it will be worth it not getting Malaria.

I should be back to the church by 1600 and will start setting up for the wedding tomorrow night and then rehearsal will be at 1700.  I should be able to go to Bible Study at my Pastor Cousin's house while the family and the bridal party finish setting everything up.  I'll come back by the church on way home and lock everything up for the night.  I should be home by 2030 or 2100.

Since the ceremony is at 1800 tomorrow, I will open the church up at 1400 to allow everyone to come in and get ready without rushing.  I'll be home by 2300 tomorrow night after things are all cleaned up and put back ready for Sunday Morning Worship.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Did they invite you to the reception and what is wrong with your pastor cousin that they would choose a lay minister over a pro?

[Kitteh]

Did every pastor in Jokelahama refuse to marry these people that they had to turn to Bushie, and is Bushie licensed to perform weddings?  Why didn't your infamous pastor cousin marry them?

I am licensed to perform weddings.  The couple chose me rather than him.

So am I.

[Paul Kemp]

This title fcuking stinks.

"Upd8: The Laughing Headache Continues"

I hate "clever" Bushie.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Did they invite you to the reception and what is wrong with your pastor cousin that they would choose a lay minister over a pro?

They did invite me to the reception.  There is nothing wrong with my pastor cousin.  I've known the bride since she was a baby and she asked me Wednesday night if I would marry them.  I know most of her family, as well, sister, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.  During the reception time, though, especially toward the end, I'll be shifting my focus toward clean up and preparation for Sunday Morning Worship.  The reception will start at 1900 and I'm going to ask them tonight to start cleaning up about 2100 as we'll need to get home and get to bed.  I want to be home by 2300, so I can get to bed by 0000.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Did every pastor in Jokelahama refuse to marry these people that they had to turn to Bushie, and is Bushie licensed to perform weddings?  Why didn't your infamous pastor cousin marry them?

I am licensed to perform weddings.  The couple chose me rather than him.

So am I.

Have you actually gone before the deacons or elders of the church, preached in front of the deacons and other ordained staff at the church, preached to the congregation, been voted on by the congregation, and taken your license down to the court clerk for formalization?

I'm not saying that's how it has to be done, as that's the Southern Baptist procedures, but what I'm saying is I have actually gone through the required process to become an official minister.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Did they invite you to the reception and what is wrong with your pastor cousin that they would choose a lay minister over a pro?

They did invite me to the reception.  There is nothing wrong with my pastor cousin.  I've known the bride since she was a baby and she asked me Wednesday night if I would marry them.  I know most of her family, as well, sister, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.  During the reception time, though, especially toward the end, I'll be shifting my focus toward clean up and preparation for Sunday Morning Worship.  The reception will start at 1900 and I'm going to ask them tonight to start cleaning up about 2100 as we'll need to get home and get to bed.  I want to be home by 2300, so I can get to bed by 0000.

Bushie are you sure Dukey wasn't right when he asked if this was a shotgun wedding?  I mean asking you Wednesday for a Saturday service seems like one to me?

[politicus]

Bushie are you sure Dukey wasn't right when he asked if this was a shotgun wedding?  I mean asking you Wednesday for a Saturday service seems like one to me?

Well, shotgun weddings are a time honoured Southern tradition

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I think I am just out of touch, Grumps. Weddings are only for the rich, which I am shamelessly a part of, apparently, so weddings for the poors are atypical. I was just shocked that they had not picked a venue days before their wedding, as I have a friend of mine getting married tomorrow night as well, and they had theirs planned for months (it's a greek wedding, so obviously).

He said the bride already had a child, so it's definitely a shotgun wedding, just a little slower. It sounds like most of the people Bushie knows have kids out of wedlock, which isn't surprising, I guess, despite how religious they are.

[Kitteh]

I think I am just out of touch, Grumps. Weddings are only for the rich, which I am shamelessly a part of, apparently, so weddings for the poors are atypical. I was just shocked that they had not picked a venue days before their wedding, as I have a friend of mine getting married tomorrow night as well, and they had theirs planned for months (it's a greek wedding, so obviously).

He said the bride already had a child, so it's definitely a shotgun wedding, just a little slower. It sounds like most of the people Bushie knows have kids out of wedlock, which isn't surprising, I guess, despite how religious they are.

Not even necessarily despite. I'd imagine there's a strong connection between being deeply religious and not using contraceptives (or at least growing up in a deeply religious area where such things aren't talked about).

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I think I am just out of touch, Grumps. Weddings are only for the rich, which I am shamelessly a part of, apparently, so weddings for the poors are atypical. I was just shocked that they had not picked a venue days before their wedding, as I have a friend of mine getting married tomorrow night as well, and they had theirs planned for months (it's a greek wedding, so obviously).

He said the bride already had a child, so it's definitely a shotgun wedding, just a little slower. It sounds like most of the people Bushie knows have kids out of wedlock, which isn't surprising, I guess, despite how religious they are.

Not even necessarily despite. I'd imagine there's a strong connection between being deeply religious and not using contraceptives (or at least growing up in a deeply religious area where such things aren't talked about).

Yeah, it's pretty much accepted that more religious people have kids out of wedlock than others because they don't believe in contraceptives yet have sex because it is natural to want to do that. That's my theory. I am just glad Bushie keeps confirming it every time he gives us peeks into the people in his life.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Bushie are you sure Dukey wasn't right when he asked if this was a shotgun wedding?  I mean asking you Wednesday for a Saturday service seems like one to me?

Well, shotgun weddings are a time honoured Southern tradition

Brilliant.  Seems like a shady pastor in this picture too....

[Bacon King]

Well, the doctor gave me a shot for my migraines, but thankfully, I was still able to drive home.  I'm about to take a nap as the shot is making me fade.  I do need to be up to meet the bride and groom at the church to show them the facilities at 1500.

My headache just laughed at the shot.  It's still blaring away.  Mom gets these shots quite  often and thinks it may take some time for it to start working.  I'm going to try to go the rest of the day without taking anything.

Anyway, I will be meeting the bride and groom at the church at 1600 to show them the facilities and get their final decision on whether to use the church or not for their wedding.  If they decide to use the church, I will be getting the Minister's Handbook out of the Pastor's Office and brushing up on what to say during the ceremony which will be Saturday evening.  This will be my very first wedding to perform and I was very honest and told the bride that up front.  It doesn't seem to have made her change her mind, but I'll find out for sure about an hour from now.

It took about 6 hours for the shot to take effect, so its still working, but it has knocked my headache out of the migraine category to the moderately severe category.  On a 10 point scale, it was hovering between an 8.5 and 9.0 out of 10, now it's hovering between 6.0-6.5.

Holy it what the ck Bushie, are you cking serious? I've suffered from some pretty intense migraines in my day, and I have friends who have them even worse than I do. Migraines are so painful that they completely floor you... a headache doesn't warrant being placed on a numerical scale, let alone be a cking "nine out of ten," if you can still drive down to the reservation and back, stare at the computer screen for so long unphased, or even manage to coherently think about what you're supposed to be doing tomorrow. The fact that you're being so hyperbolic here suggests to me that you've been so cking babied for so long that you literally have no concept of how tough the real world actually can be, if some minor daily nuisance that doesn't actually keep you from doing anything is a "nine out of ten." Like, honestly, just cking grow a pair and cut it out with all this prissy pouty it.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

If I can get into exercising, I'll be doing even better.

Jeff, I'll probably get into a man before you get into exercising.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Did every pastor in Jokelahama refuse to marry these people that they had to turn to Bushie, and is Bushie licensed to perform weddings?  Why didn't your infamous pastor cousin marry them?

I am licensed to perform weddings.  The couple chose me rather than him.

So am I.

Have you actually gone before the deacons or elders of the church, preached in front of the deacons and other ordained staff at the church, preached to the congregation, been voted on by the congregation, and taken your license down to the court clerk for formalization?

I'm not saying that's how it has to be done, as that's the Southern Baptist procedures, but what I'm saying is I have actually gone through the required process to become an official minister.

Probably not.  Then again, she probably didn't do all of those things and then go steal money from her loved ones so she could fund her porn addiction.

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

And Bacon King already wins the thread.  Both for his use of R-MI and because of his sound analysis.

[King]

The Atlas tried to give a shot of common sense to the headache that is Update, but Bushie just laughed at it.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

My dad's girlfriend had a brain tumor a while ago and still gets migraines occasionally. When she does, she locks herself away and basically sits in a quiet, dark room until it goes away. I can't imagine her driving, administering a wedding or anything. If it is a 9/10, Bushie has a tremendous tolerance for pain.

And his mom has had a migraine every day for 35 years? Is that even possible?

[King]

A tremendous tolerance for pain but not enough to endure basic exercise

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Bushie, did you go for free doughnut day? I'm in line for one right now!