Update

[tik 🪀✨]

This thread is a guilty pleasure. I almost want to place bets.

If it doesn't work out for you OK, I'd recommend dating someone exclusively for at least a year before you pop the big question. It's really impossible to know how well two people will get along together in such a short amount of time otherwise - especially if they aren't already living together, which I expect you wouldn't dream of doing.

[Brittain33]

I had another very interesting dream this morning right before I woke up.  The dream was we were still talking to each other and starting to go places and do things together again, to put it in a nutshell.  This is the 4th in a series of related dreams that I've had all month of July so far.  The first one was the wedding itself was still happening.  The second one was the reception.  The third one she was giving birth to our baby.  The fourth one, we were starting to talk again about what's been bothering us and going places and doing things as a couple, again.  We were basically back to where we were in June.  As long as these dreams keep happening, I still have unwavering faith in this:  8 months 26 days.  Say nay all you want, but I'm still very confident that things will work out and that it won't take too long.  I have faith that we are nearing the end of this phase.

Dreams are often a reflection of what you want or what you fear, so it isn't surprising if your dreams confirm your hopes. I wouldn't take them as a sign of the future. They're a continuation of your daytime thoughts and experiences. It's like how, for me, dreams about being late for class and not being caught up tend to reflect stress in my daytime life, not predict it.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

I had another very interesting dream this morning right before I woke up.  The dream was we were still talking to each other and starting to go places and do things together again, to put it in a nutshell.  This is the 4th in a series of related dreams that I've had all month of July so far.  The first one was the wedding itself was still happening.  The second one was the reception.  The third one she was giving birth to our baby.  The fourth one, we were starting to talk again about what's been bothering us and going places and doing things as a couple, again.  We were basically back to where we were in June.  As long as these dreams keep happening, I still have unwavering faith in this:  8 months 26 days.  Say nay all you want, but I'm still very confident that things will work out and that it won't take too long.  I have faith that we are nearing the end of this phase.

Dude, we'll all be behind you when the reality of this situation sets in.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I just got back from my cousin's this evening and he gave me a new perspective on why she's not saying a whole lot.  He said that we went so fast in June to get started that she may be just trying to process everything.  She was just able to settle down and catch her breath this past Sunday, so she may still be trying to relax.  She's had a very busy last 5 weeks with trying to plan our best friend's wedding in less than 3 weeks, then working 14 hours a day for 5 days two weeks ago and then Vacation Bible School all last week.  She's been a busy bee lately and she's just now able to sit down and relax and process everything.  I don't blame her for needing space.  I just process it in a different way, by consulting with trusted friends and Christian brothers.  She, evidently, processes things through isolation.  There's nothing wrong with that.  She even mentioned that to me when I talked to her on Sunday.  She said she's been going through a lot lately and needs time to process everything.  She said she would call me when the time is right for her.  She also told me not to call her until she calls me.  So, based on what I heard tonight and from what she said Saturday and Sunday, I'm tempted to give her as long as she needs, within reason of course, though it may be later than August 1.  I don't think it will take that long, though.

He also said that until and unless I hear it from her lips, that I have no reason to consider the wedding off, yet.

All in all, I am still very encouraged and I still have mountains of faith.  I'm not going to let anyone take away the faith that I have or try to discourage me.

[pogo stick]

Good Luck. Hope everything turns out ok.

[Eraserhead]

I just got back from my cousin's this evening and he gave me a new perspective on why she's not saying a whole lot.  He said that we went so fast in June to get started that she may be just trying to process everything.  She was just able to settle down and catch her breath this past Sunday, so she may still be trying to relax.  She's had a very busy last 5 weeks with trying to plan our best friend's wedding in less than 3 weeks, then working 14 hours a day for 5 days two weeks ago and then Vacation Bible School all last week.  She's been a busy bee lately and she's just now able to sit down and relax and process everything.  I don't blame her for needing space.  I just process it in a different way, by consulting with trusted friends and Christian brothers.  She, evidently, processes things through isolation.  There's nothing wrong with that.  She even mentioned that to me when I talked to her on Sunday.  She said she's been going through a lot lately and needs time to process everything.  She said she would call me when the time is right for her.  She also told me not to call her until she calls me.  So, based on what I heard tonight and from what she said Saturday and Sunday, I'm tempted to give her as long as she needs, within reason of course, though it may be later than August 1.  I don't think it will take that long, though.

He also said that until and unless I hear it from her lips, that I have no reason to consider the wedding off, yet.

All in all, I am still very encouraged and I still have mountains of faith.  I'm not going to let anyone take away the faith that I have or try to discourage me.

This cousin sounds like a bad influence.

[dead0man]

If she actually said "don't call me until I call you"....well that's not a good sign at all in my book (along with many other, more subtle, signs).  On the other hand everybody is different and you know her a lot better than any of us do, so I'm not going to go so far and say there is no hope.

Certainly continue the weight loss (for you, and your future wife/family), but keep an eye on the other single ladies too.  One might come along even better than your current attraction.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

She also told me not to call her until she calls me. 

Sigh.  Sorry, Bro, but that sounds like an epitaph

[WalterMitty]

call her up and tell her you need to move on with your life.

dont let her hold you hostage...waiting on some call that probably wont come.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Yeah. You can't have her telling you not to call her unless she calls you first. That isn't the way a relationship should go.

[TeePee4Prez]

Do we get an update today?

Well he's not going to call her till August, and I have a feeling she won't be calling him anytime before that, so I suspect there's nothing to be updated about.

I was really hoping he'd take my advice.

That ring is gone for good, E.......

I just hope he didn't shell out a fortune for it.  That would suck.  Hey, I couldn't imagine going through what he is right now.  Someone he's about to marry is talking about "space".  That's not good.

Being objective here.  Jake is right.  I've been through the same situation with someone with the "don't call me, I'll call you" routine.  The keywords "space" and that pretty much mean it's over.  I really hate to sound harsh, but in the end I'm glad people have told me this- Move on.  Date lots of women.  And be casual about it, like you don't care what happens next.  And like prison, you get one call after the 1st date.  My overall callousness and alcohol have helped me out a lot I must say in these situations though.  Again, it's just me, but I'm sure you get the idea.

BushOK- Good luck with the weight loss.  I need to do so as well.  I've been getting chewed out by my teammates in roller hockey for not being able to get back on defense as fast and I'm too slow to cover the perimeter.  Plus I'm starting to have back issues.  Not something a 29 year old should have.

[TeePee4Prez]

Yeah. You can't have her telling you not to call her unless she calls you first. That isn't the way a relationship should go.

Yep, this is what it looks like.  Not good.

[WalterMitty]

bushok--isnt your ex friends with your fiance?

you should ask your ex what is going on.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I'd hate to say I told you so but...

I can't do much besides echo what everyone else said, but if you're getting married and she doesn't want you to even CALL her for over two weeks, there's something wrong here. Big time.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Good Morning,

This will be a quick update.

I had the 5th dream in this series of dreams last night.  We were listening to a preacher or somebody and she was grabbing my hand to hold it.  Very simple, but very profound.

I'm expecting something to happen this weekend, though.  I'm expecting I will be able to see her for a little bit this weekend, or at least talk to her.  I don't know if it will happen tonight, tomorrow, or Sunday, but I have a hunch something will happen.

[WalterMitty]

you really shouldnt do this to yourself, bushie.

[Eraserhead]

you really shouldnt do this to yourself, bushie.

Agreed, this is just sad.

[TeePee4Prez]

you really shouldnt do this to yourself, bushie.

Agreed, this is just sad.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Your question should now be pawn shop or eBay?  Not will she call?  Leave a message, tell her it's over, and I want the ring back.  Cut your losses now both financially and emotionally.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

you really shouldnt do this to yourself, bushie.

Agreed, this is just sad.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

This is really sad to hear. She certainly isn't being fair to you at all. If you are about to get married, you both need to have open communication lines at all times. She isn't respecting you with her behavior either. I'd like to give her a good talkin' to. 

[Meeker]

Believe it or not I'm in a vaguely similar situation right now. There's this friend I've had for six years who about a year ago I started having feelings for. I finally got the nerve to tell them about a month ago and everything was fine and dandy at first but then something gradually changed and now they won't even return my phone calls. The most frustrating part is that I didn't even do anything (at least that I can think of) or try to make any advances and they won't explain what the hell the problem is except vague texts that don't make any sense whatsoever. I would just give up but we've known each other since we were about 12 and I really do care about them as a friend first and foremost...

Sigh...

[Хahar 🤔]

I just noticed how weird singular they really sounds.

[Purple State]

I just noticed how weird singular they really sounds.

Indeed. Best to use he/she.

[Хahar 🤔]

I just noticed how weird singular they really sounds.

Indeed. Best to use he/she.

He/she is kind of awkward too (unless you mean to use either he or she).

[Meeker]

Bad habit. My apologies.