Sexless love or loveless sex?

[RI]

I love it when libertarians find total emptiness fulfilling.

     Sorry for being able to find fulfillment outside of love.

Any fulfillment you find outside of love will never last.

     Don't get me wrong, I still want to try to find love. I just am suspicious that I can't find fulfillment in teaching kids physics.

I did not mean it that way. I apologize.

     It's alright. I do see how my first post in the topic could seem confrontational to Christians.

My objections do not come from religion. Most Christians would not include me in their circles, though I do consider myself one, albeit very liberally.

     People can be heavily influenced by ideas while rejecting them. When you live in a society as heavily Christian as the United States, it's easy to accept certain Christian ideas while not believing in the religion itself.

Touché.

[Mint]

This thread is painfully predictable.

[RI]

This thread is painfully predictable.

What does that tell you?

[Mint]

Nothing I didn't already know. Sort of sad though.

[opebo]

I have both sexless love and loveless sex right now and I can tell you both are great.

It is very salubrious to keep these two things separated.

[Luis Gonzalez]

If had great sex with women that I barely knew, and never saw again, and horrible sex with women I've been in love with.

With men (generally speaking of course) when sex is good, it is a great thing, and when it is bad, it's still pretty good.

So the answer - as I see it here - is that sexless love is unsustainable, while loveless sex is (if nothing else) a viable option to watching bad television.

[12th Doctor]

Since it has been several years since I've had either love or sex, I would happily take either option at this point.

[afleitch]

Since it has been several years since I've had either love or sex, I would happily take either option at this point.

[Keystone Phil]

     Where did you get the notion that I focus on short-term physical satisfaction?

By looking at your answer.  

What kind of guy gets in a relationship or deals with women at all if not to eventually have sex with them? That's the driving force behind all relationships.

Wrong, spoiled brat.

 

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Uh...who said anything about lacking physical attraction? What does that have to do with loveless sex or sexless love?

The point some of us are trying to make is that sex isn't the basis of love. I wouldn't expect you to know about this since Mommy and Daddy probably buy anyone that you ever dated. The girls stick around because they love your Benz, dude. That suddenly makes...er...everything seem bigger. You know what I mean?

 

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Yeah. Girls are only good enough for you when you get to spike their drinks, right?

[JohnFKennedy]

FÜCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! *smashes beer can on forehead*

I think a few people around here need to start realising that this whole 'macho' notion of masculinity is just a societal construct; the values that society associates with being a 'man' are by no means all the product of biology.

[Keystone Phil]

FÜCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! *smashes beer can on forehead*

I think a few people around here need to start realising that this whole 'macho' notion of masculinity is just a societal construct; the values that society associates with being a 'man' are by no means all the product of biology.

LOL

Exactly

[RI]

Since it has been several years since I've had either love or sex, I would happily take either option at this point.

Somebody needs a hug.

FÜCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! *smashes beer can on forehead*

I think a few people around here need to start realising that this whole 'macho' notion of masculinity is just a societal construct; the values that society associates with being a 'man' are by no means all the product of biology.

LOL

Exactly

Could not agree more.

[afleitch]

I am lucky to be in love and have sex with the one I love (yes I know he's another forumer but put two and two together ) Seperating the two would seem rather odd, but if I had to, I'd have to go with sexless love.

[The Man From G.O.P.]

We need to establish what each choice actually means.

[Marokai Backbeat]

I don't say this often but.. Phil is absolutely and completely right.

...

I feel unclean.

[TeePee4Prez]

Since it has been several years since I've had either love or sex, I would happily take either option at this point.

Don't sell yourself short man.  Knowing what you want=confidence.  Some people on here are seeking the "true love" and relationship thing.  Whatever floats their boats and they're not f****ts for thinking that way as someone eluded to earlier.  They just have a different point of view which works for some guys.  Just not for me.  Some are hornballs like me and a few others and really don't care to deal with the female sex too much on a non-sexual level.  You have to be comfortable with being single.  If someone comes along I can love, great.  It hasn't happened yet.  I've only told 1 person I loved them after a month of seeing her.  She left me right after and yes we had sex a few times.  I've learned not to get too attached and have almost developed an emotional callous towards women.

[TeePee4Prez]

Why even deal with females without the sex? 

This is why you are single.

Thank you Phil.  I'm proud of it.  It's a shame the rest of society's not quite there yet.  I am not institutionalized and have to listen to a 2nd mother like some of my friends.  To each his own.

[Marokai Backbeat]

Since it has been several years since I've had either love or sex, I would happily take either option at this point.

Don't sell yourself short man.  Knowing what you want=confidence.  Some people on here are seeking the "true love" and relationship thing. 

Yeah, stupid us. Wanting something meaningful and lasting.

[TeePee4Prez]

Supersoulty- question:

If you were talking to a woman at a bar, you have a decent rapport, she's moderately attractive, bought her a drink or two, shared a smoke, etc. and you find out  in the conversation she's a preschool teacher and blurts out "I think kids are soooo cute and I want a baby in the next 2 years."  And you have a shot with love and sex with her fairly quickly.  What would you do?

[TeePee4Prez]

Since it has been several years since I've had either love or sex, I would happily take either option at this point.

Don't sell yourself short man.  Knowing what you want=confidence.  Some people on here are seeking the "true love" and relationship thing.

Yeah, stupid us. Wanting something meaningful and lasting.

Did you read the rest of my post?  I never said you were stupid.  All I suggested to super is that he should know what he wants.

[Marokai Backbeat]

Since it has been several years since I've had either love or sex, I would happily take either option at this point.

Don't sell yourself short man.  Knowing what you want=confidence.  Some people on here are seeking the "true love" and relationship thing.

Yeah, stupid us. Wanting something meaningful and lasting.

Did you read the rest of my post?  I never said you were stupid.  All I suggested to super is that he should know what he wants.

I never literally said you called me or anyone else stupid

All I'm saying is it's hard to respect that sort of lack of attachment and affinity for on the fly relationships/flings and one night stands without any sort of emotional attachment whatsoever. Quite frankly I couldn't respect myself if I ever subscribed to that way of thinking.

And in general, the idea that one person couldn't commit yourself to someone you care a great deal about and love just because you wouldn't be able to have sex is absolutely shallow and immature. What if the person you fell in love with is physically incapable of having sex after some sort of accident or traumatic experience? Would you leave them?

For anyone that answers yes: I have some hemlock I'd like you to try.

[TeePee4Prez]

Since it has been several years since I've had either love or sex, I would happily take either option at this point.

Don't sell yourself short man.  Knowing what you want=confidence.  Some people on here are seeking the "true love" and relationship thing.

Yeah, stupid us. Wanting something meaningful and lasting.

Did you read the rest of my post?  I never said you were stupid.  All I suggested to super is that he should know what he wants.

I never literally said you called me or anyone else stupid

All I'm saying is it's hard to respect that sort of lack of attachment and affinity for on the fly relationships/flings and one night stands without any sort of emotional attachment whatsoever. Quite frankly I couldn't respect myself if I ever subscribed to that way of thinking.

And in general, the idea that one person couldn't commit yourself to someone you care a great deal about and love just because you wouldn't be able to have sex is absolutely shallow and immature. What if the person you fell in love with is physically incapable of having sex after some sort of accident or traumatic experience? Would you leave them?

For anyone that answers yes: I have some hemlock I'd like you to try.

Some men have different ways of thinking within the realm of heterosexuality.  There are plenty of women that think the way I do as well about men. 

I guess I'm older than you and have had the experience of being burnt so many times not to care so much.  I was more idealisitic about love when I was your age, but a lot of harsh realities have set in for me.  My friend says I have a subconscious tendency to be non-committal when it comes to women who start to have an interest in me.  And at the same time I want and try to lock down in a relationship what I can't have.  Yes, I'll be the 1st to admit I'm a bit of an emotional trainwreck. 

[Marokai Backbeat]

I don't consider myself idealistic about love. I'm just gay in a very rural and poor area revolving around Southern culture. That loneliness and isolation has made me realize that love is something special and people should be cherished when you finally do find someone.

Heterosexuality or bisexuality in the hands of the wrong people make it harder for some to realize how special people truly are when you find them.

[afleitch]

I don't consider myself idealistic about love. I'm just gay in a very rural and poor area revolving around Southern culture. That loneliness and isolation has made me realize that love is something special and people should be cherished when you finally do find someone.

Heterosexuality or bisexuality in the hands of the wrong people make it harder for some to realize how special people truly are when you find them.

I think that is a nice attitude to have I think love and sex can be so throwaway people balk at it when it's the real deal, or think they loose out on sex if they settle down. Quality not quantity I say.

[Associate Justice PiT]

     Where did you get the notion that I focus on short-term physical satisfaction?

By looking at your answer.  

     Oh. It's called not being nihilist towards the physical world.