Comedy Goldmine XI: The Atlas Forum Demilitarized Zone

[minionofmidas]

Last night I had a dream that I was trying to get to my polling place in dark-fictional-unfamiliar-dream-Tacoma.  I missed a bus and had to run there and got there like 2 minutes too late.  I was a little distraught until the pollworker told me that there was nothing on the ballot.  Literally.  It was a completely blank piece of paper.

I agree with my subconscious.

Why in the hell are there 25 pages about it?

Imagine what it would be like if there was meaning to the primary.

The primaries for King County Executive and Seattle Mayor should actually be relatively interesting (especially the former if people are smart enough to vote in a way that makes the maps cool).

Will Alcon vote for über union hack Beckie Summers Kirby WHO IS IN THE POCKETS OF THE UNIONS? Readers want to know.

District 5?  You think I live in District 5?  You are dead to me.

(Not dead enough that I probably won't ask you for help on several votes.  But a lot deader than you were before.)

District 2 is full of sodomizers and arsenic. But that's probably how you like it, you sick freak.

Ahem.  Arsenic is totally more a District 1 thing.  District 2 is exploding grain towers and sodomizers.  And Northeast Tacoma, whatever the hell happens there. [snippety]

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Yeah, you're also from a country occupied by Hitler in World War 2. Don't act like you are unbiased.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

an acquaintance of mine who works for her tells me that they have a rule in her office that she's not allowed to throw things weighing more than two ounces at her staff.

[tik 🪀✨]

ba zing

I bill clients $735/hour.  Are you sure you want to go this route?

Yeah but you don't have to dress up in a leather thong for jury duty.

[Alexander Hamilton]

Conservative Judaism is prolly the least-liberal group of Jews.

[Alexander Hamilton]

I think that Joseph Cao's (R) seat, LA-2, should be considered a Toss-Up as well.

[Bacon King]

[Ebowed]

Everyone loves to pan him as a radical leftist, but he represented South Dakota in both the House and SENATE.  How did he manage to get elected in such a heavily Republican state?  If I didn't know he was from South Dakota, I'd think he was from Massachusetts.  Massachusetts is the only state he carried in the 1972 election, and it also has a reputation as a corrupt and lawless state where married gay couples oppress heterosexuals, everyone has wild orgasmic sex in the middle of the street, and abortions are provided at every street corner.

[Bacon King]

What do you look for in a woman?

The same qualities Mr. Obama looks for in a Supreme Court nominee, obviously.  (Empathy, willingness to talk to old male Republicans, extensive knowledge of law)

[Bono]

My only abiding superstition is that something bad always happens on the Tuesday following the first Monday of November, particularly in years divisible by four.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

My only abiding superstition is that something bad always happens on the Tuesday following the first Monday of November, particularly in years divisible by four.

Hah, yes. That was a good one.

[Sewer]

[Marokai Backbeat]

hi guys, need help for a school project.  my question is, how does president veto bill? 

NO FLAMES PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  serious responses only.  if not, I will get pissed and leave the forum.  you do NOT have the right to make me fail.

[Alexander Hamilton]

hi guys, need help for a school project.  my question is, how does president veto bill? 

NO FLAMES PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  serious responses only.  if not, I will get pissed and leave the forum.  you do NOT have the right to make me fail.

OH sh**t.

[RI]

Maybe there was a President who was secretly female, too. William Howard Taft had very pendulous breasts.

[JSojourner]

hi guys, need help for a school project.  my question is, how does president veto bill? 

NO FLAMES PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  serious responses only.  if not, I will get pissed and leave the forum.  you do NOT have the right to make me fail.

Wow.  I never say this before.  He could be my idiot-nephew.

[pogo stick]

hi guys, need help for a school project.  my question is, how does president veto bill? 

NO FLAMES PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  serious responses only.  if not, I will get pissed and leave the forum.  you do NOT have the right to make me fail.

Wow.  I never say this before.  He could be my idiot-nephew.

um.. I didn't write that...

[Bacon King]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veto

United States
See also: List of United States presidential vetoes, Line-item veto, and Veto override
The word "veto" does not appear in the United States Constitution. Per U.S. Const., Article I, Section 7 all legislation passed by both houses of Congress must be presented to the President. This presentation is in the President's capacity as head of state.

If the President approves of the legislation, he signs it (sign into law). If he does not approve, he must return the bill, unsigned, within ten days, excluding Sundays, to the house of the United States Congress in which it originated, while the Congress is in session. The President is constitutionally required to state his objections to the legislation in writing, and the Congress is constitutionally required to consider them, and to reconsider the legislation. This action, in effect, is a veto.

If the Congress overrides the veto by a two-thirds majority in each house, it becomes law without the President's signature. Otherwise, the bill fails to become law unless it is presented to the President again and he chooses to sign it.

A bill can also become law without the President's signature if, after it is presented to him, he simply fails to sign it within the ten days noted. If there are fewer than ten days left in the session before Congress adjourns, and if Congress does so adjourn before the ten days have expired in which the President might sign the bill, then the bill fails to become law. This procedure, when used as a formal device, is called a pocket veto.

In 1996, the Congress passed, and President Bill Clinton signed, the Line Item Veto Act of 1996. This act allowed the President to veto individual items of budgeted expenditures from appropriations bills instead of vetoing the entire bill and sending it back to the Congress. However, this line-item veto was immediately challenged by members of Congress who disagreed with it. In 1998, the Supreme Court declared that the line-item veto was unconstitutional. The Court found the language of the Constitution required each bill presented to the President to be either approved or rejected as a whole. An action by which the President might pick and choose which parts of the bill to approve or not approve amounted to the President acting as a legislator instead of an executive and head of state - and particularly as a single legislator acting in place of the entire Congress - thereby violating the separation of powers doctrine. (See Clinton v. City of New York, 524 U.S. 417 (1998).)

In 2006, Senator Bill Frist introduced the Legislative Line Item Veto Act of 2006 in the United States Senate. Rather than provide for an actual legislative veto, however, the procedure created by the Act provides that, if the President should recommend rescission of a budgetary line item from a budget bill he previously signed into law - a power he already possesses pursuant to U.S. Const. Art. II - the Congress must vote on his request within ten days. Insomuch as the legislation that is the question of the President's request (or "Special Message", in the language of the bill) was already enacted and signed into law, either by this president or a prior president, any action by the Congress would be ordinary legislative action, not any kind of veto - whether line-item, legislative or any other sort. The House passed this measure, but the Senate never considered it, so the bill expired and never became law.

In 1982, the Supreme Court had struck down the one-house legislative veto, also on separation of powers grounds and on grounds that the action by one house of Congress violated the Constitutional requirement of bicameralism. The case was INS v. Chadha, concerning a foreign exchange student in Ohio who had been born in Kenya but whose parents were from India. Because he was not born in India, he was not an Indian citizen. Because his parents were not Kenyan citizens, he was not Kenyan. Thus, he had nowhere to go when his student visa expired because neither country would take him, so he overstayed his visa and was ordered to show cause why he should not be deported from the United States.

The Immigration and Nationality Act was one of many acts of Congress passed since the 1930s, which contained a provision allowing either house of that legislature to nullify decisions of agencies in the executive branch simply by passing a resolution. In this case, Chadha's deportation was suspended and the House of Representatives passed a resolution overturning the suspension, so that the deportation proceedings would continue. This, the Court held, amounted to the House of Representatives passing legislation without the concurrence of the Senate, and without presenting the legislation to the President for consideration and approval (or veto). Thus, the Constitutional principle of bicameralism and the separation of powers doctrine were disregarded in this case, and this legislative veto of executive decisions was struck down.

The Presidents of the Continental Congress (1774 - 1781) did not have the power of veto. Nor could the President veto an act of Congress under the Articles of Confederation (1781 - 1789), though he possessed certain recess and reserve powers that were not necessarily available to the predecessor President of Continental Congress. But with the enactment of the United States Constitution (drafted 1787; ratified 1788; fully effective since 4 March 1789), veto power was conferred upon the person titled "President of the United States."

The presidential veto power was first exercised on April 5, 1792 when George Washington vetoed a bill designed to apportion representatives among the several states. The Congress first overrode a presidential veto - that is, passed a bill into law notwithstanding the President's objections - on March 3, 1845.

Most U.S. states also have a provision by which legislative decisions can be vetoed by the governor. In addition, most of these states allow the governor to exercise a line-item veto.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Most important year in history:

64,998,665 BC, the year the dinosaurs were wiped off the planet by a bigass asteroid.

[ChrisJG777]

Most important year in history:

64,998,665 BC, the year the dinosaurs were wiped off the planet by a bigass asteroid.

He managed to get it down to the last year? 

[Mechaman]

Most important year in history:

64,998,665 BC, the year the dinosaurs were wiped off the planet by a bigass asteroid.

He managed to get it down to the last year? 

Oh wait....the Earth is only 6,000 years old. Okay, more like 2500 BC.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

Here is the U.S under My Presidency.

I boot out Illinois from America, for being so damn corrupt and stupid. And Vermont seceded from the union as Abortion was banned. The President of Illinois is... no other, then Rod Blagojevich

and Vermont's leader is Bernie Sanders.

[King]

Why do all five year olds (and Mike Naso) think they'll be President someday?

And why do they think the President has the power to kick a state out of the union?

[Psychic Octopus]

Why do all five year olds (and Mike Naso) think they'll be President someday?

And why do they think the President has the power to kick a state out of the union?

1. It gives them hope, It's a common childhood dream for political hacks like us, I used to want t do be President until I realized it was impossible and I have the worst possible last name for it.

2. No clue, school budget cuts?

[Joe Republic]

I used to want t do be President until I realized it was impossible and I have the worst possible last name for it.

Your last name is Hitlerf****t?