fantasy Madoff sentencing

[© tweed]

CNBC.com held a 'contest' in which people sent in their ideas for what Bernie Madoff's punishment should be.  most of the nominees were stupid, but this one caught my eye, and actually won the ensuing poll-vote with a plurality:

Sentence him to life working everyday for the SEC, finding people just like him who haven't been found yet...Give him leave to go walk in Central Park for an hour everytime he finds another crook, and leave to go to a very good restaurant for dinner everytime he turns up somebody who whacked the public for upwards of $100,000,000. Other performance bonuses can be created. Never mind his rotting in jail; it might feel good, but does nothing for us but force us to feed him. He's very smart, very experienced, and we should put him to work catching people just like him.


straight out of 'Catch Me If You Can' and Frank Abagnale and etc.  obviously this isn't the way our justice system works, and this thread may be better placed in another board that discusses the broader issue of the Western psychology of retributive justice, but, does anyone else think this might be more productive than sticking him in a prison cell at $25k/yr on the taxpayer for the remainder of his life?  claim most/all of his assets, have him live in a halfway house/minimum security prison, and make him work 50 hours/week with performance 'bonuses' such as vacation time/furloughs if he contributes to catching somebody.

[The Man From G.O.P.]

Use a fine cheese grater over 100% of his skin, release him naked to the NYC public, who have all been armed with lemon juice and vinegar guns.

[Purple State]

Is this your way of finding the sickest member of the forum...?

Use a fine cheese grater over 100% of his skin, release him naked to the NYC public, who have all been armed with lemon juice and vinegar guns.

Well it worked.

[© tweed]

I actually wasn't asking people to contribute their own ideas if you read my original post.

[k-onmmunist]

Tar and feathers?

Actually, I think we should give him $5,000,000 and force him to give it away within 24 hours, but he can only give away $1,000 at a time. If he fails, we tar and feather him.

[© tweed]

k, nevermind.  I'll resurrect this as a broader question in Religion & Philosophy a few months from now.

[2952-0-0]

Public hanging on Wall Street?

There will be a lot more people following him on the gallows later.

[Person Man]

uhhh...Castration?

[ilikeverin]

k, nevermind.  I'll resurrect this as a broader question in Religion & Philosophy a few months from now.

Actually, you had a quality post up there, but I guess everyone on this forum feels like playing the "Kill Bernie" game for a while.

[CultureKing]

Lock him in a room with all the investors he fooled/conned and arm them with sporks. Death by Spork.

[Meeker]

How would we force him to work? Couldn't he just sit there?

[Person Man]

Ehh...I like to stick to traditional Chinese and Byzantine punishments.

[© tweed]

How would we force him to work? Couldn't he just sit there?

I don't see why a mechanism to regulate this would be difficult to implement.  hold incarceration over his head if he is deliberately unproductive.

[Person Man]

How would we force him to work? Couldn't he just sit there?

I don't see why a mechanism to regulate this would be difficult to implement.  hold incarceration over his head if he is deliberately unproductive.

Would this violate the 13th Amendment?

[© tweed]

How would we force him to work? Couldn't he just sit there?

I don't see why a mechanism to regulate this would be difficult to implement.  hold incarceration over his head if he is deliberately unproductive.

Would this violate the 13th Amendment?

why would it?  Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime where of the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.


this type of thing isn't completely unprecedented either.  they even made a movie about it.

[Person Man]

Yeah...then again, we enter the entire 7th, 8th, 13th and 14th amendment kind of junction. My question is whether voluntary surgical castration would violate this part of the constitution that deals with Due Process and Post Due Process Rights.

[SPC]

Make him Treasury Secretary. If he could run a $50 billion Ponzi scheme for that long, he could probably keep the government's $50 trillion Ponzi scheme running for a little longer.

[pbrower2a]

Put him in the "Aryan Wing" of one of our Supermax prisons.

[TeePee4Prez]

Put him in the "Aryan Wing" of one of our Supermax prisons.

He'll get his rotation with the brothas' in the prison shower as well.  Hope he gets a very hard, bloody shower if you know what I mean.  Ahh, they might not find him remotely attractive though.  Oh well, they'll just beat him up then.   

[SPC]

Put him in the "Aryan Wing" of one of our Supermax prisons.

How nice of you to wish a man to be physically harmed because of his ethnicity.

[pbrower2a]

Put him in the "Aryan Wing" of one of our Supermax prisons.

How nice of you to wish a man to be physically harmed because of his ethnicity.

No -- he deserves it for robbing Jews as he did. He was a traitor to his own people, and he deserves the consequences.