What do I need to know about Australia?

[Mr. Morden]

OK, those of you with really long memories may recall that last year, I mentioned here that I was thinking about applying for a job that would take me to South Africa for ~2 years or so.  Well, I ended up not applying for that job, as I got an offer out here in Washington state.  However, the funding for my current position dried up earlier than expected, so I had to look for work somewhere else.  Well, I've now found it.  I've got a three year fellowship in Australia (in the Sydney metro area) that'll start in a few months....basically, as soon as I can sort  out the paperwork, and organize the move.

So, is there anything that I need to know about Australia before I move there (I've never been there; I've been to the UK though, is Aus. any more different from the US than the UK is?)?  Does anyone have any advice on any aspect of moving across the ocean?

[John Dibble]

All you need to know about Australia:

"Where's the poison? But it's so simple! All I have to do is divide from what I know of you - are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet knowing that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must've known I was not a great fool, you would've counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. I haven't made my decision yet, though. Because Iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely people with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. And you must've suspected I would've known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. You've beaten my giant, which means your exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must've studied, and in studying you must've learned that man is mortal, so you would've put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. Ha, it's worked; you've given everything away. I know where the poison is. And I choose- (points behind the Pirate) what in the world can that be?! (switches goblets) Oh, I could've sworn I saw something. Well, no matter. Let's drink - me from my glass, and you from yours. (drinks, then laughs) You think I guessed wrong, that's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha, you fool! You've fallen victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia", but only slightly less well known is this - "Never go in against a Sicilian, when death is on the line!" Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha h-!"

*(falls over dead)*

[afleitch]

'They wear hats on their feet and hamburgers eat people.'

[Middle-aged Europe]

Famous Australians:
















Oops, I think that last one is from New Zealand actually.

[bgwah]

Oops, I think that last one is from New Zealand actually.

omg its number three!!

[J. J.]

Everyone is named Bruce and there are no poofter. 

[Rin-chan]

The seasons are backwards!!

Rin-chan

[tik 🪀✨]

Burger King is called Hungry Jacks.

Don't get involved in football clubs. You will be crushed by a bogan wielding a VB, and that's no good.

There is a difference between gas and petrol, but no one knows what it actually is. So get petrol.

Here is a brief, extremely incomplete, list of things they say and their American equivalent:

car park = parking lot
footpath = sidewalk
shopping trolley = shopping cart
serviette = napkin
tomato sauce = ketchup
lemonade = sprite / 7up / etc
chips = french fries
crisps = chips
New Zealand = funny accent
American = "I bet you can't even tell me who our prime minister is!"
seppo = derogatory term for an American (it comes from rhyming slang, eventually, but that's a whole can of worms I can't begin to describe accurately)

There's plenty more, of course, but I'm tired of that.

Be wary of roundabouts, if you plan to drive. They take some getting used to. And you'll be on the left side of the road and right side of the car, of course.

Toilets do not have handles, they have buttons. One usually is a light flush (for piss) and another is for a 'full' flush. And they will all be low flow.

There's a long drought going on so there are lots of restrictions on what and when you can use water. It's worse during the summer, of course, and it depends where you're going.

That's all I can be bothered to think of. Have fun

[dead0man]

The women glow and the men plunder.

[Robespierre's Jaw]

The women glow and the men plunder.

But the thing is I cannot hear, I cannot hear the thunder. Nor can I better run and better take them on .

[Fmr President & Senator Polnut]

One thing... practical.

Sydney is expensive, especially if you want to live near anything... nice.

[Platypus]

Burger King is called Hungry Jacks.
Correct, although there was a brief flirtation with having both at once. It failed miserably.


Don't get involved in football clubs. You will be crushed by a bogan wielding a VB, and that's no good.
correct. Ish. League clubs, yes; and many aussie rules clubs. But it is an essential part of your stay that you pick a team and follow it, in at least one league. I recommend the Sydney Swans (AFL); ACT Brumbies (Union, although realistically NSW would make more sense) and maybe Manly in League)

There is a difference between gas and petrol, but no one knows what it actually is. So get petrol.
Wrong. Gas, LPG, is Liquid Petroleam Gas-basically cheaper, more efficient and a bit greener. If you can buy a car with dual-fuel (both LPG and Petrol) do; otherwise straight gas is best. Gasoline=Petroleum, btw.

Here is a brief, extremely incomplete, list of things they say and their American equivalent:

car park = parking lotyep
footpath = sidewalk yep
shopping trolley = shopping cart yep
serviette = napkin yep (although both are widely used)
tomato sauce = ketchup yep
lemonade = sprite / 7up / etc yep
chips = french fries yep
crisps = chips no, that's British. They're chips here too. Sometimes people distinguish between the two by using the terms 'hot chips and 'bag chips', especially the former.
New Zealand = funny accent Nuw Zillend es a great plice fe fush en chups.
American = "I bet you can't even tell me who our prime minister is!" yep along with "15% of Americans can't find the US on a map of the world!" and "Bible-bashing gun-grabbing death-penaltying wankers"
seppo = derogatory term for an American (it comes from rhyming slang, eventually, but that's a whole can of worms I can't begin to describe accurately) septic tank=yank; yank=anyone from the US

There's plenty more, of course, but I'm tired of that.


Be wary of roundabouts, if you plan to drive. They take some getting used to. And you'll be on the left side of the road and right side of the car, of course. yep. Basically, just always give way to the right at a roundabout. And be glad you won't have the trammed roundabouts of Melbourne or Hook turns. Other than that, Sydney's traffic and road system is a lot, lot worse so take the small mercies.

Toilets do not have handles, they have buttons. One usually is a light flush (for piss) and another is for a 'full' flush. And they will all be low flow. yep. Popular in areas with very little water: If it's brown, flush it down; if its yellow let it mellow". I don't let it mellow. Most of the time half-flush (~6L) is sufficient anyway. Oh, learn metric.

There's a long drought going on so there are lots of restrictions on what and when you can use water. It's worse during the summer, of course, and it depends where you're going. yep. No hosing down driveways or cars, can only water garden on certain days, not supposed to take showers more than 5 mins and certainly not for more than 10, etc.

That's all I can be bothered to think of. Have fun

Also...

TRAVEL. Sydney is OK, but you've got Tasmania, the Daintree and Great Barrier Reef, Melbourne, Kakadu, Perth, the Surf Coast and Great Ocean Road, New Zealand, the high country and a huge f-off rock in the middle of a huge f-off desert to see. And Canberra, but only if you're desperate or like Gum trees and concrete.

YOU DON'T ROOT FOR A TEAM, unless they are all very attractive and slutty.

DON'T PRAISE ANY POLITICIAN. Ever. Full Stop (period).

LEARN TO LOVE FISH AND CHIPS and forget McDonald's.

Also, Australia's culture is very much one that ties in with the rest of the Anglosphere. We're about 1/3 British, 1/3 American and the rest a mix of Indigenous, Continental European and Asian, with a little Middle Eastern, African and even a smidge of Latin American.

GET IN TO AUSSIE MUSIC, a lot of it is remarkably good considering our size. I personally recommend Triple J, of course, but whatever.

CRICKET IS YOUR FRIEND, but only when you're bored, drunk or preferably both.

SWIM somewhere on the Coast. South Coast NSW is probably the easiest to get to.

CONVICTS settled Sydney. That's why Melbourne is a much nicer city and if you can transfer, do.
Anything else?

[Fmr President & Senator Polnut]

Melbourne of course being founded by uptight, self-righteous windbags.

You want to have fun, stay in Sydney. You want to feel superior (or at least try) go to Melbourne.

Oh and for the LOVE OF GOD! do not support Manly?!

[HardRCafé]

GET IN TO AUSSIE MUSIC, a lot of it is remarkably good considering our size. I personally recommend Triple J, of course, but whatever.

Death to the Apple Gerls!

[Хahar 🤔]

And both the Liberals and Labor suck.

This is a political forum, no?

[Platypus]

Melbourne of course being founded by uptight, self-righteous windbags.

With a perchant for easy-to-navigate street layouts and sewage.

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If you want to have fun, go to Sydney...for a weekend. If you want to have fun, go to Melbourne for a weekend.

If you want to have a better lifestyle in a nicer city with deeper cultural and sporting heritage, a booming city with a great economy, go to Melbourne...unless you prefer hyper-expensive, poseur cities in which if you don't live on the water you aren't even a consideration. Then, go for Sydney, just make sure those sunglasses cost at least $350.

[Alcon]

Melbourne of course being founded by uptight, self-righteous windbags.

With a perchant for easy-to-navigate street layouts and sewage.

[Fmr President & Senator Polnut]

Melbourne of course being founded by uptight, self-righteous windbags.

With a perchant for easy-to-navigate street layouts and sewage.

You must be logged in to read this quote.

If you want to have fun, go to Sydney...for a weekend. If you want to have fun, go to Melbourne for a weekend.

If you want to have a better lifestyle in a nicer city with deeper cultural and sporting heritage, a booming city with a great economy, go to Melbourne...unless you prefer hyper-expensive, poseur cities in which if you don't live on the water you aren't even a consideration. Then, go for Sydney, just make sure those sunglasses cost at least $350.

That makes my over-generalisation of Melbourne look reasonable.

[Mr. Morden]

Well, thank you all for the info and opinions, but there is roughly zero chance of me relocating to Melbourne.  I'll be working for the Anglo-Australian Observatory in Epping (a Sydney suburb), and they don't have any alternative location in Melbourne.

[Fmr President & Senator Polnut]

Well, thank you all for the info and opinions, but there is roughly zero chance of me relocating to Melbourne.  I'll be working for the Anglo-Australian Observatory in Epping (a Sydney suburb), and they don't have any alternative location in Melbourne.

Epping is a nice area, I grew up about 15 mins down the road.

A lot of students due to Macquarie Uni - shouldn't be too difficult a place to live. Plus you can get the express trains into the City.

[Mr. Morden]

Epping is a nice area, I grew up about 15 mins down the road.

Cool.  I don't suppose you have any specific recommendations on places to live in that area?  I'm going to have to find an apartment there, and I don't know where to start looking.  None of the websites that I would go to to look for apartments in the US cover Australia.  If you don't know of a specific location, any ideas on where to go on the web to look?

[Smid]

I don't like Sydney, but that's because I'm from Queensland originally and we hate NSW with a passion (especially at State of Origin time). That said, I find the one thing that unites everyone in Australia from any state or territory (except for NSW) is their dislike of Sydney...

We have great beaches in Australia, and you can get to them quite easily from most major cities.

I reiterate what Polnut mentioned... don't support Manly! I've heard it said that everyone has two favourite teams - their home team, plus whoever's playing Manly.

[Fmr President & Senator Polnut]

Epping is a nice area, I grew up about 15 mins down the road.

Cool.  I don't suppose you have any specific recommendations on places to live in that area?  I'm going to have to find an apartment there, and I don't know where to start looking.  None of the websites that I would go to to look for apartments in the US cover Australia.  If you don't know of a specific location, any ideas on where to go on the web to look?

www.realestate.com.au
www.flatmates.com.au

Epping itself, there's Eastwood, Marsfield. Given Epping is on the major northern train line you can look a little further afield (like 10-15 commute) - Thornleigh, Pennant Hills, Hornsby (the main major shopping area... where I'll in fact be going in about 30 mins).

It's Sydney - so finding a place on your own might be expensive - finding a place to share should be pretty economical. Perhaps where you're getting the fellowship might have people there who need house/flat mates.

[Mr. Morden]

Epping is a nice area, I grew up about 15 mins down the road.

Cool.  I don't suppose you have any specific recommendations on places to live in that area?  I'm going to have to find an apartment there, and I don't know where to start looking.  None of the websites that I would go to to look for apartments in the US cover Australia.  If you don't know of a specific location, any ideas on where to go on the web to look?

www.realestate.com.au
www.flatmates.com.au

Epping itself, there's Eastwood, Marsfield. Given Epping is on the major northern train line you can look a little further afield (like 10-15 commute) - Thornleigh, Pennant Hills, Hornsby (the main major shopping area... where I'll in fact be going in about 30 mins).

Thanks.  OK, I have a rather odd question.  Forgive me if this is a dumb question, but I've never traveled outside of North America or Europe:

It looks like it might be cheapest (by quite a bit) to book an itinerary that has a layover in Fiji.  Is there any reason to avoid Fiji, even if I'm only going to be there for a few hours?  The State Department says this:

http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/cis/cis_1114.html

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...which doesn't sound terribly encouraging, but again, I'd only be there for a few hours, and the State Department could very well just be overdramatizing things so that people play it safe.

[Albus Dumbledore]

If it's only a few hours it shouldn't be too bad.