Chechnya bans all music deemed too fast or too slow

[dead0man]

CNN

Authorities in the Russian Republic of Chechnya have announced a ban on music that they consider too fast or slow.

Minister of Culture Musa Dadayev announced the decision to limit all musical, vocal and choreographic compositions to a tempo ranging from 80 to 116 beats per minute (BPM) at a meeting Friday, the Russian state new agency TASS reported.

“(I) have announced the final decision, agreed with the head of the Chechen Republic Ramzan Akhmatovich Kadyrov, that from now on all musical, vocal and choreographic works must correspond to a tempo of 80 to 116 beats per minute,” Dadayev said, according to TASS.

Under Kadyrov’s directive, the region now ensures that Chechen musical and dance creations align with the “Chechen mentality and musical rhythm,” aiming to bring “to the people and to the future of our children the cultural heritage of the Chechen people,” Dadayev added.

[Sirius_]

Dadayev is an idiot who doesn't know how music works

[Alcibiades]

Plato would be proud.

[Del Tachi]

FF!

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Does this include emo?

It no doubt includes powerviolence and many types of hardcore.

[Sestak]

no, officer, the song is in 8/8 i swear

[Crumpets]

I had the fun privilege of explaining this policy on a call to a bunch of government folks yesterday.

[LBJer]

One of the most bizarre things I ever heard of.

[Horus]

One of the most bizarre things I ever heard of.

Lyndon LaRouche wanted all orchestras tuned to 256 Hz, also known as the Verdi standard, instead of the modern 261.63 Hz. I think Farrakhan (an accomplished violinist) is also in support.

[Sirius_]

One of the most bizarre things I ever heard of.

Lyndon LaRouche wanted all orchestras tuned to 256 Hz, also known as the Verdi standard, instead of the modern 261.63 Hz. I think Farrakhan (an accomplished violinist) is also in support.

One of the absolute dumbest forms of pseudo-science, as doing so will not make any difference in relative pitches, thus leaving everything melodically and harmonically the same. The only reason Verdi in particular did this is because he wrote operas, and his singers found it easier at a lower pitch.

[Mr. Smith]

Hopefully Dora isn't banned.

[HisGrace]

One of the most bizarre things I ever heard of.

Lyndon LaRouche wanted all orchestras tuned to 256 Hz, also known as the Verdi standard, instead of the modern 261.63 Hz. I think Farrakhan (an accomplished violinist) is also in support.

What does olawakandi think?

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

Does this include emo?

It no doubt includes powerviolence and many types of hardcore.

Probably, but also...

it would seem to permit hip-hop music, which generally has a BPM of 85 to 95.

Others:

Some songs that would fit the bill include Beyonce's "Texas Hold 'Em" (110 BPM), the Bee Gees' "Stayin' Alive" (104 BPM), Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" (82 BPM), ABBA's "Dancing Queen" (101 BPM) and Taylor Swift's 10-minute version of "All Too Well" (94 BPM), among others.

Here are examples of songs that wouldn't:

Too slow:

"Little Wing" by Jimi Hendrix (71 BPM)
"Don't Worry Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin (69 BPM)
"Rehab" by Amy Winehouse (72 BPM)
"I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston (68 BPM)
"Imagine" by John Lennon (76 BPM)
"Hello" by Adele (79 BPM)

Too fast:

"Here Comes the Sun" by the Beatles (129 BPM)
"Cruel Summer" by Taylor Swift (170 BPM)
"16 Carriages" by Beyonce (127 BPM)
"Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana (117 BPM)
"Toxic" by Britney Spears (143 BPM)
"Hotel California" by the Eagles (147 BPM)

Chechnya is literally run by autists

[Badger]

FF!

WTF?