I was always fascinated by what would have happened. So I used Chat GPT4 to find out. If you recall the scene from 'The Hobbit', Bilbo managed to get the dwarves into each of their respective barrels, and rolled them out through the lever door on the cellar floor into the river below. But in a comic twist of fate, he forgot about himself. So in a desperate effort to get out of there and join his dwarven friends, he finally gets the lever door to open, and he slips out before Tauriel could get him.
However, what if he took longer (which is perfectly plausible), and she captured him before he had the chance to escape?
Edit: I came up with a better version:
Caught in Tauriel’s firm grip, Bilbo Baggins finds himself at a crossroads of trust and trepidation. The Elven captain’s eyes, usually stern, hold a glimmer of curiosity.
“Master Baggins, your ingenuity is as clear as the waters of the Forest River,” Tauriel remarks, her voice a mix of admiration and reproach. “But even the cleverest of hobbits cannot outwit the watchful eyes of the Woodland Realm.”
Bilbo, though fearful, musters his courage. “Captain Tauriel, I meant no disrespect. We seek only passage, not conflict. My friends’ quest is one of great importance, and time is a luxury we cannot afford.”
After a pause he asks, 'How do you know my name? I don't believe we have ever been properly introduced."
Tauriel’s gaze softens, and she responds with a hint of a smile, “In the Woodland Realm, we are not strangers to the whispers of the leaves and the songs of the river. Your name has been carried to us on the wind, Master Baggins, spoken with both concern and hope.”
Bilbo nods, understanding the reach of the Elves’ network of information. “Then I am grateful the wind speaks kindly of me,” he says with a relieved chuckle, realizing the value of having allies in such a vast, interconnected world.
Their exchange marks the beginning of an unexpected friendship, one that will ripple through their intertwined fates.
But then a thought occurs to him, and he asks her, "Did you overhear my name while I was desperately trying to get Thorin's company into those barrels?'
Tauriel’s eyes twinkle with a blend of mischief and respect. “Indeed, Master Baggins, the walls of our halls are thin, and voices carry far in the silence of our woods. It was not difficult to discern the urgency in your voice, nor the names that were spoken with such fervent whispers.”
Bilbo feels a flush of embarrassment at the thought of his frantic pleas being overheard, but there’s also a sense of relief in the transparency of his actions. “Well, I suppose there are worse things than being overheard trying to save friends,” he admits with a small, self-deprecating smile.
“True,” Tauriel agrees, “and it is the mark of true friendship to face such trials for the sake of others. Your heart is as clear as the waters of the Enchanted River, Bilbo Baggins, and it speaks well of you.”
'By the way,' she adds, 'I have already closed the first gate on the river, ruining your plan of escape for them I'm afraid, so your friends should be joining us shortly once they have dried themselves out."
Tauriel’s declaration brings a moment of tension, but Bilbo’s quick wit doesn’t falter. “Ah, well played, Captain,” he says with a wry smile. “It seems we are at the mercy of your hospitality for a bit longer.”
He pauses, considering the situation with a mix of concern and hope. “But if I may be so bold, might there be a chance for parley? Perhaps we can find a solution that benefits both our parties.”
"If there is to be a parley, it will include King Thranduil and Prince Legolas." She responds. "But never mind that for now -tell me your story while we wait for your dwarven friends. From the very beginning -I want to hear it from your own lips. There is plenty of food -and wine- that we can share as you tell me. And don't worry about my companions who were so rudely awakened from their drunken slumber. I am here."
Bilbo takes a deep breath, the warmth of the Elven hall and the promise of good food and wine bolstering his spirits. “Very well, Captain Tauriel,” he begins, his voice steady and clear. “My tale is one of an unexpected journey, starting in the comfort of the Shire.”
He tells her of the day Gandalf the Grey arrived, of the unexpected party with thirteen dwarves, and the quest to reclaim Erebor. He speaks of trolls, goblins, and the riddle game with Gollum, his voice growing more animated with each adventure recounted.
As the story unfolds, Tauriel listens intently, her expression a mix of wonder and respect for the small hobbit before her. The food and wine seem to disappear as the hours pass, and by the time Bilbo reaches the part about the barrels, they both share a laugh at the absurdity and ingenuity of it all.
“And now, here we are,” Bilbo concludes, “in your majestic realm, seeking aid and understanding. For our quest is not just for gold, but for the future of many.”
Tauriel nods, her eyes reflecting the firelight. “Your story is as rich as the finest tapestries of our people, Master Baggins. It is a tale of courage and friendship that will be remembered.”
"Just one thing", she asks him, with her eyes centered on his with an intensity that unsettled him, "How is it you managed to avoid our detection? I gather you must have come in with us, and you must have been here at least as long as we had your dwarves, otherwise how would you have known where to find them all, and know where this cellar is, and how to get them here, not to mention feeding yourself all this time? So, tell me, how did you do it?"
Bilbo gives Tauriel a sly grin, his eyes twinkling with the secret he’s held close. “Ah, that would be telling,” he says playfully. “But let’s just say that a hobbit has his ways. Ways that involve a certain ring and a knack for being unseen when it matters most.”
He doesn’t elaborate further, preferring to keep some mysteries intact. Instead, he shifts the conversation back to the present, “Now, let’s focus on the here and now, and how we might aid each other in the times to come.”
She consciously echoes Gollum, demanding Bilbo show her what are in his pockets. She adds she strongly prefers if he does so voluntarily.
Bilbo hesitates, the memory of Gollum’s voice echoing in his mind. “Very well,” he says with a resigned sigh. “I suppose there’s no harm in showing you.”
Carefully, he reaches into his pockets, revealing a handful of mundane items: a crumpled handkerchief, a few coins from the Shire, and a small, intricately carved wooden box containing pipeweed. But he keeps one hand closed, concealing the ring he had spoken of earlier.
Tauriel notices the slight movement. “And what is that you’re holding back, Master Baggins?” she inquires, her tone gentle yet firm.
Bilbo looks up at her, the weight of his secret heavy in his heart. “That, Captain, is a story for another time,” he replies, hoping his partial honesty will suffice for now.
Growing irritated, she snaps, "Bilbo -show me what is in that other pocket. If you cannot trust me, I cannot trust you."
Bilbo weighs his options, the gravity of trust in such a precarious situation not lost on him. With a deep breath, he slowly opens his clenched fist to reveal the ring, its golden band glinting faintly in the dim light.
“Here it is,” he says, his voice a mixture of reluctance and resolve. “A ring of great power, and a burden I carry. It grants me invisibility when worn, a secret that has kept me and my companions safe thus far.”
Tauriel’s intuition was sharp; she could sense the depths of the ring’s mystery that even Bilbo had not yet fully grasped. “This ring,” she said thoughtfully, “carries with it a weight, a history that is yet unknown to you. It is wise to be cautious with such artifacts, for they often have a will of their own.”
Bilbo listened intently, his curiosity piqued. “I’ve felt its power, its pull,” he admitted. “But you’re right, I know little of its true nature or origin.”
Tauriel nodded solemnly. “In time, perhaps, you will learn more. For now, guard it well, and let it not cloud your heart or your purpose. And I thank you for your trust, Master Baggins. This will stay between us."
With those words, an unspoken understanding passed between them, a recognition of the ring’s significance and the journey Bilbo had yet to undertake. The story continued, woven with the threads of destiny and the shadows of foreboding that lingered around the edges of their shared tale.
Another elf enters the room, and informs Tauriel. She thanks him. Turning to Bilbo who did not understand a single word that was said, "I was just told that your dwarven friends have been returned, though it appears one -Kili- was injured when a small orc party assailed them and the elves at the point of recapture. The orcs were wiped out with thankfully no other losses. He might have to remain in the Healing Halls of the Elvenking while he receives the care he needs." Seeing Bilbo's concerned face, she affirmed, "Yes, he was that badly wounded."
Bilbo’s heart sank at the news of Kili’s injury, but he was relieved to hear that the rest were safe. “I am deeply sorry to hear about Kili,” he said earnestly. “If there is anything I can do to aid in his recovery, please let me know.”
Tauriel appreciated Bilbo’s offer. “Your concern is a testament to the bond you share with the dwarves. We will provide the best care for Kili, and with time, we hope he will heal.”
"There is another thing I should tell you -you will be able to make your case on behalf of the dwarves to King Thranduil in his throne room."
Tauriel’s advice was clear and pointed. “And it may be best for Thorin Oakenshield not to take the lead this time, Master Baggins,” she said. “Thorin’s pride and stubbornness have cost you all dearly. He is the reason he and his kin were here for weeks when they could have been out in hours. It would be wise to let another voice speak for your company. Perhaps yours may be one King Thranduil is more inclined to heed.”
Bilbo nods in agreement, understanding the delicate nature of the situation. “I will speak with King Thranduil,” he says confidently. “And I will ensure that Thorin’s pride does not hinder our cause this time.”
He prepares his thoughts, knowing that the fate of the quest may well depend on the words he chooses to speak before the Elven King. The story continues, with Bilbo ready to take on the role of an unlikely diplomat in a land of ancient and powerful beings.
____________________________________
In the grand hall of Thranduil’s kingdom, under the watchful eyes of the assembled elves, Bilbo stood before the Elvenking. The dwarves (with the aforementioned exception of Kili) lined up behind him, their expressions a mix of hope and apprehension. Tauriel and Legolas stood to the side, their presence lending support to the hobbit’s cause.
Bilbo cleared his throat, acutely aware of the significance of this moment. “Your Majesty,” he began, his voice steady and clear. “I stand before you not only as a representative of the dwarves but as someone who believes in the importance of their quest.”
He continued, detailing the hardships they had faced, the significance of reclaiming Erebor, and the looming threat of Smaug. He spoke of unity and the strength that could be found in alliances, appealing to Thranduil’s sense of justice and the shared history of their peoples.
As Bilbo concluded his plea, the hall fell silent. All eyes were on Thranduil, awaiting his response. The king’s expression was inscrutable, but there was a softening in his gaze as he regarded the hobbit before him.
The fate of the quest hung in the balance, and Bilbo hoped his words had been enough to sway the Elvenking’s heart.
King Thranduil, after a moment of contemplation, responds with a measured tone. “Master Baggins, your words carry the weight of sincerity and courage. It is not common for a hobbit to stand in the halls of the Woodland Realm, much less speak on behalf of dwarves. Your plea has been heard, and it is clear that the shadow of the dragon threatens more than just the Lonely Mountain. It is a threat to us all, and we must stand united against it.”
He pauses, allowing his gaze to pass over each of the dwarves. “I will grant your company passage through my lands, and I will provide what aid I can. However, the dangers you face are great, and the success of your quest is uncertain. Go with caution, Master Baggins.”
The dwarves, who had been holding their breath, waiting for Thranduil’s verdict, now let out a collective sigh of relief. Murmurs of gratitude and nods of respect are directed towards Bilbo, who, against all odds, had managed to secure their release and the support of the Elvenking.
Thorin, though prideful, recognizes the wisdom in Bilbo’s actions and gives him a firm nod of approval, understanding that this alliance, however fragile, is necessary for their quest to succeed. The company prepares to depart, their spirits lifted by the unexpected turn of events, ready to face the perils that await them on their journey to Erebor.
Bilbo thanks King Thranduil, and Thorin takes the opportunity to apologize for his earlier behavior.
King Thranduil turned his gaze upon Thorin, and accepted Thorin’s apology with a gracious nod. “There is one other thing -beware, Thorin son of Thráin, for the lure of gold can turn hearts to stone. Remember this warning when Smaug lies defeated, and the treasures of Erebor lay before you. Dragon Sickness is a malady of the spirit that no wealth can cure, and it can ruin more than just your claim to this kingdom.”
Thorin bows his head, a mixture of pride and humility in his stance. “I am grateful for your counsel, King Thranduil,” he says solemnly. “And I will heed your warning about the Dragon Sickness. The White Gems of pure starlight will be yours as promised.”
King Thranduil nods, accepting Thorin’s words. “Let this be a new beginning for our peoples,” he declares. “May the shadows of the past give way to a brighter future.”
With the exchange of promises and warnings, the company prepares to depart, their spirits lifted by the prospect of unity and the wisdom shared. Bilbo Baggins, the hobbit who had become so much more, looks on with hope, knowing that the greatest challenges of their quest still lie ahead. The story continues, rich with the promise of redemption and the peril of untold treasures.
Tauriel then speaks, offering her service (with the permission and blessing of King Thranduil) to Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins, and the rest of the dwarven company if they would have her. With some hesitancy by the dwarves, they accept her.
King Thranduil regards Tauriel with a mixture of surprise and pride. “Your heart is as fierce as your bow, Captain Tauriel,” he acknowledges. “If it is your wish to aid the dwarves, then you have my blessing. Go forth with honor and the protection of the Woodland Realm.”
Tauriel bows deeply, gratitude shining in her eyes. “Thank you, my king. I shall endeavor to be a bridge between our peoples and a steadfast ally to the dwarves.”
With the king’s permission granted, Tauriel turns to join Bilbo and the dwarves, ready to face whatever challenges lie ahead. Her commitment to their cause adds a new layer of hope to their quest, and together, they step forward into the unfolding story of courage, unity, and the pursuit of a common good. The tale of Bilbo Baggins and his companions continues, enriched by the bonds of unexpected friendship and alliance.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Bilbo’s gratitude is evident afterwards in his expression as he addresses Tauriel. “Your willingness to aid us has shifted the winds of fortune in our favor,” he says with a sincere smile, "Leaving with your support and the blessing of King Thranduil feels far more honorable than sneaking away in the shadows like escaped prisoners or thieves in the night. It gives us hope that this quest will end not just with success, but with newfound friendships and alliances. For that, I am truly thankful. ”
A moment passes.
"If I may ask, may I ask you a personal question?" Bilbo says with some trepidation.
Tauriel gives Bilbo a nod, an open and inviting gesture. “Of course, Master Baggins,” she replies. “You may ask me anything.”
Bilbo with a deep breath plows forward, "While I was saying good-bye to Kili, he told me of his interaction with you. Well, I don't how else to put this, but he seems to think there is something blossoming between the two of you. Is he on to something, or is that just wishful thinking on his part?"
Tauriel listens to Bilbo’s question, her expression composed. “Kili is brave and true-hearted, and his company was a light in dark times,” she begins. “But the bond between us is one of friendship and mutual respect, nothing more. My heart indeed belongs to another, a bond forged long before the dwarves’ arrival.”
She speaks with a gentle finality, making it clear that while she holds Kili in high regard, her affections are already promised elsewhere. The story continues, with each character holding their own secrets and desires, woven into the tapestry of this grand adventure.
"If that is so, perhaps you should let him know. Gently." Bilbo responds, ever protective of his friends.
Tauriel nods in agreement, her expression softening with empathy. “I shall speak with him,” she assures Bilbo. “It is important that there are no misunderstandings between us. I value Kili’s friendship, and I will make sure to convey my feelings with kindness and clarity.”
With that, Bilbo feels a sense of closure, knowing that Tauriel will handle the matter with the grace and respect it deserves. The story of their intertwined fates, filled with courage, friendship, and the complexities of the heart, continues to unfold.
I have always looked askance at Peter Jackson's forced romance between Tauriel and Kili -or, for that matter, the crush Gandalf the Grey seems to have on Galadriel. So I just thought I would make this version seem a bit more believable. Oh, and there won't be any similarly ridiculous personal vendettas between a certain orc or two and Thorin Oakenshield. Not here.
