For the first time in my life, I feel depressed...

[TPIG]

For about the last month, inexplicably, I have been stuck in a pretty rough emotional state that oscillates pretty much exclusively between feelings of malaise, total emotional numbness, or profound sadness not connected to any particular cause. I'm increasingly anxious when engaging socially, even with people I've known and loved for a long time. My mind feels foggy and my memory weakened; basic tasks I used to complete are now much more difficult to do. Music doesn't bring me the joy that it did before, nor does food, and I've relied exclusively on prayer as a means to find any solace.

To top it all off, I just got a big promotion at work and will now be overseeing a large team of nearly 30 people. I should be happy about this, and theoretically, I'm very excited for the opportunity, but I don't feel capable of giving by soon-to-be subordinates the best of myself or capable of engaging with them on any sort of real level.

I guess there's not really anything I'm asking for other than thoughts and prayers and whether this has happened to anyone else/how were you able to get out of it? I just wanted to put this out into the semi-anonymous ether that is atlas.

[Del Tachi]

There are seasons to life.  Whenever I get to feeling sad I remember that I have felt sad before and come out the other side; our emotional states of being are always fleeting.  The timing and unexplained nature of your recent bout of depression may suggest some kind of literal seasonal affect. 

[It’s so Joever]

In cycles like these it’s easy to fall back into what takes the least energy because you basically have none. It’s easy to miss things and just go to sleep…or really try to go to sleep while staring at the wall.

My best advice? Do something even if it’s just 25%.
Go for a walk even if for two minutes down the street. Listen to a song, even if for only 30 seconds. Eat even a tiny bit, and do your best to not feel bad even if that’s all you can do. Remind yourself that if you had not done that, you would have done nothing, that you are making progress even if it’s slower than you hoped.

I dont know how to help you with the social anxiety part much because I suffer as well, but exposure is probably one way that helps. Talking with people is especially hard now…but if you don’t do it the anxiety will compound like interest. Even if it’s just saying hello to a random neighbor, you’re doing it.

Something I’ve considered doing is going on Omegle and embarrassing myself as a form of exposure therapy for my social anxiety…haven’t done it but considering it. I mean I already do it here .

DT is correct that these things are often fleeting, but even now just do what you are able to.

One last thing, this is REALLY hard but try not to should yourself into how you should feel. You do this in your post and I’m glad you did because it’s a good thing to point out. When you get upset with yourself over how you aren’t feeling the way you should to certain news…it oftentimes makes it all feel more hopeless. Your feelings are valid even if they don’t go in the way one would expect. Maybe don’t try so much to be “happy” because that’s such a hard concept. Just go about…do things as much as possible, and over time it will come back. God bless you, you’ll be in my prayers.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Best of luck.  Try some exercise.  Even just walking.  Brings out all kinds of good feelings which may help offset what you're feeling.  AVOID booze totally, if possible.

[Amenhotep Bakari-Sellers]

I don't feel depressed but disappointed the rich people voted for Vance, Budd and cast aside Ryan and Beasley two great Da and now look what we have a mess with YE and Fuentes, that goes to show that it's the rich whom are voting R and rural voters R poor and middle class voters arent discriminatory

Look at Hockey v other sports you have good whites even Nascar to some degree now because of blk race car drivers now, have changed and accept blks people

Hockey have Russian oligarchy skaters and blks are afraid to go to a Hockey game due to drunk whites might yell a racial slur and Russian Hockey players like Alex Ovechkin supports Putin

Whites are all rich they buy season passes but Hockey is distinct than the rest of the sports as far as Minority attending games

But, I feel great on 24 we have two pickups in FL and TX, NC and KY Gov races and OH and MT and Gallego challenge to Sinema I don't know what happens to Manchin but since it's gonna be 51/49 S we can deal without the two and based on H map on NY and CA alone we can win 5 seats back there goes Filibuster, Eday is two yrs from now not now and it's 4% unemployment we will win and since MI moved it's primary Harris if she wants it will be 47th Prez providing that the changes we made by nixing Filibuster are already enacted

That hurt Hillary, Obama didn't get rid of Filibuster so the same policies were still in place with trickled down economics even though it was 4% unemployment

Asa Hutchinson say keep taxes low lol poor and middle class people pay the bottom 40% and rich pays 60%

[Hammy]

To top it all off, I just got a big promotion at work and will now be overseeing a large team of nearly 30 people. I should be happy about this, and theoretically, I'm very excited for the opportunity, but I don't feel capable of giving by soon-to-be subordinates the best of myself or capable of engaging with them on any sort of real level.

Did these feelings begin around the time of the promotion?

It's not uncommon when achieving a goal or moving on to something bigger and better so to speak, as it can trigger depression, things ranging from this sort of 'now what' feeling if you're used to things being a certain way (even if it's something you genuinely want) to the promotion in itself adding more pressure that might not have been present beforehand

Hopefully this helps and things improve soon

[TPIG]

To top it all off, I just got a big promotion at work and will now be overseeing a large team of nearly 30 people. I should be happy about this, and theoretically, I'm very excited for the opportunity, but I don't feel capable of giving by soon-to-be subordinates the best of myself or capable of engaging with them on any sort of real level.

Did these feelings begin around the time of the promotion?

It's not uncommon when achieving a goal or moving on to something bigger and better so to speak, as it can trigger depression, things ranging from this sort of 'now what' feeling if you're used to things being a certain way (even if it's something you genuinely want) to the promotion in itself adding more pressure that might not have been present beforehand

Hopefully this helps and things improve soon

That's really interesting and something I wasn't aware happened! In my case though, the depression started a couple of weeks before I was made aware of the promotion. Completely sudden onset that I can't really pin down. Your willingness to engage with my rambling certainly helps and I appreciate your input.

[TPIG]

Also, thank you to everyone else who has responded. Your tips, shared experiences, and good wishes are very appreciated!

[soundchaser]

A lot of what you've said resonates with me - especially the part about engaging with people you care about. Frankly, it sounds like textbook clinical depression. Which sucks; no two ways about it.

In my case, therapy and medication have helped quell some of those anxieties. I still have periods of flare-up, but I'm much more able to navigate them and recognize them as temporary feelings. "Depression lies" is a common saying, and it's been true in my experience.

I really would suggest reaching out to someone who would be able to listen in a professional setting. There are plenty of Christian-specific therapists out there who would be happy to help you within a faith-based but clinically sound atmosphere.

I hope you start to turn the corner soon either way. Depression is a nightmare, but there are ways to co-exist with it.