I'm sorry

[Alben Barkley]

I'm sorry folks for being who I am.

I feel like a failure and impostor a lot of the time, like I'm just putting up some front of being a lot tougher than I really am. I don't know if that's really true, but that's how it feels sometimes.

I apologize to everyone I've ever been embattled with on this site. One exception may be IndyRep; you were like designed in a lab for me to hate apparently.

In any case, I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve!

All I know for certain is that it gets tougher and tougher to go on as the days get shorter and the odds of Republicans destroying what's left of American democracy get greater.

This is NOT to say I will commit suicide. Fortunately I have enough to live for in my life that I'm now beyond that, including a wonderful girlfriend. But I may well just check out of politics for a while. It's a a huge stressor in my life and at the end of the day, all I can really do about it is cast a vote which is utterly futile in my state. Seems like a kind of madness to get so worked up about something you have so little power over.

I'm not promising I'll leave, either, to the great disappointment I'm sure of some of you who would like to see me gone. I'm just venting right now. I regret things I've posted in the distant past all the way up until minutes ago. I feel like I've acted like a child on this site and it's not good for me. Then again, the site is a great source of information and it's fun to deal with like-minded lunatics. So I don't know if I can leave that behind entirely.

TL;DR: I might be leaving Neverland, and before I do, I apologize if you've ever been offended by anything I've said to you or about something you hold dear. (Unless you're IndyRep.) But I also might not be, might just be drunk and somber right now. Above all, it might not matter because US democracy -- which this forum is a shrine to -- might die anyway.

Well, I can assure you I'll still be around through Tuesday at least folks. If only to say I told you so and/or how glad I am that I was wrong. But I'm not sure about beyond that. My girlfriend is literally asleep at my side right now and has complained about the amount of time I've wasted online. It might be time for me to go off to greener pastures soon. We'll see. Those of you who have been around long enough know that I was off this forum almost entirely for quite some time when we first started dating. May be time to do that again. Maybe I'll come back eventually or pop in every once in a while like a guest star on a TV show. But I'm not sure I'll be a regular anymore. This forum might well just be too damn depressing if nothing else. And after a close brush with suicide that some of you are aware of, that's the last thing I need. I need to focus on what makes life worth living. And I'm not sure this forum is it, frankly.

Whatever I do, remember: Old soldiers never die. They just fade away.

Eh, f--k that. What I really mean to say is that the 413 map was actually a reasonable prediction at the time, even though I didn't formally make it, and...

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

I wish you the best in all your pursuits, Alben. Fine man and a fine poster. I'm personally a teetolar, but go ahead - enjoy that bottle of Kentucky bourbon!

[Meclazine for Israel]

Imposter Syndrome is a horrible feeling. When you feel like that, it is a gut wrenching state, it's not something that I found enjoyable to experience.

Inevitably, in a workplace, some dominant characters enjoy be-littling other staff in front of management as they think it elevates their role.

Find something you are good at, and do that for a while. And trim the unwanted behaviours and things affecting you, including toxic people.

[dead0man]

Seems like a kind of madness to get so worked up about something you have so little power over.

listen to yourself and stopped getting so worked up over stuff you have so little power over.  Pass it a long to the other 120 million Americans with the same problem.  In spite of everything, this is still the best time to be alive.  Especially if you are a minority or an Alphabet people.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

Do whats best for your mental health, but don't feel bad about your posting on here. Yes, you act immature occasionally, but you contribute positively to this forum, and it would be worse off without you.

[Pink Panther]

Even though I don't always agree with your analysis or beliefs, I believe that you are a positive contributor here on this forum, and I wish you luck. Don't underestimate how important mental health is.

[John Dule]

Yes, maybe you should transition... to spending less time on here.

[PSOL]

Hopefully you find a J.K. Rowling near you to spend the rest of your days looking down at the masses below you.

[It’s so Joever]

Ignore some of the above comments, you’re a good guy…too good of one imo.

Do what is best for your mental health, and I wish you the best in life. You know my feelings on our future…just know that it’s all cyclical. We will have bad times, we will have good times. The immediate future will come and it will go. Tomorrow is still just one day…etc etc.
Don’t feel bad about any old posts, you are well liked here still.

Oh and 413 was wrong

[President Johnson]

Take care, friend. I've always enjoyed your insights and straight talk. Hope you'll be around in the future, too.

[Schiff for Senate]

You're a great guy Alben - truly one of my favourite posters - no matter what the naysayers in the minority say. I'd be sorry to see you go.

[heatcharger]

IndyRep bodied you

[Hope For A New Era]

From one 413-predictor to another - all we can do is the best we know how to do in the moment with the knowledge available to us, and that applies both to elections and to everyday life. I wish you well, whether terminally-online-Atlasian or the opposite. All the best

[Alben Barkley]

Ignore some of the above comments, you’re a good guy…too good of one imo.

Do what is best for your mental health, and I wish you the best in life. You know my feelings on our future…just know that it’s all cyclical. We will have bad times, we will have good times. The immediate future will come and it will go. Tomorrow is still just one day…etc etc.
Don’t feel bad about any old posts, you are well liked here still.

Oh and 413 was wrong

This was and is honestly touching to read, man.

Whatever words we've exchanged, know I wish for the best for you too.

Which of course means I hope you are WRONG! For your own sake!!!

[Alben Barkley]

IndyRep bodied you

He wishes.

I swear by the blood below my feet, you can't raise a (MY LAST NAME CENSORED) back up when he's in defeat!

[Alben Barkley]

Ultimately I think I'll be around here a little longer after tomorrow, but probably less frequently.

It's not because I'm whipped by my GF either!

I just feel like it's become a source of negative energy in my life in some ways... positive energy too in some ways though! I've told you all I've literally reached that "Make it or break it" moment of suicide before. It's scary as hell. And I'm not sure I would have "made it" without this forum, even though I didn't show it at the time. So I will always owe you all a huge debt.

Seeing the outpouring of support from most of you wanting me to stay... Hell it might have made me heart grow 10 sizes today!

I might stay longer than I anticipated after all. Probably at least through the end of the year. No idea what the new year will bring me. As I've alluded to, marriage and family might be in my not-so-distant future. If it is, that could change things. I'll never leave here entirely though, I don't think.

Atlas is a part of me and I am a part of it now, for better or worse. The outrageous comments, the inflammatory arguments, the drunken and sober posts alike that got an outpouring of support and/or hate! Through it all, I've loved this site. So I think I will stay around a little longer. Again, it may be less frequent than it was before. But I'll be around. Shoot me a PM, respond to my threads, I'll still be here.

This is a mad band of lunatics on this site, but we all share a common deranged obsession with US politics. Not sure what I'd replace it with in my life, so I'll keep at it for the foreseeable future I think.

In fact, I think I'll start a new AMA thread! It's been over 14k posts after all.

This may be an addiction, but I can't escape it. Love y'all!

[Aurelius]

IndyRep bodied you

He wishes.

I swear by the blood below my feet, you can't raise a (MY LAST NAME CENSORED) back up when he's in defeat!

Good taste in music, I approve.

[Alben Barkley]

IndyRep bodied you

He wishes.

I swear by the blood below my feet, you can't raise a (MY LAST NAME CENSORED) back up when he's in defeat!

Good taste in music, I approve.

Thank you! I hoped someone would understand that reference!

Also this might be a bit like Tom Brady choosing football over Gisele LOL.

Gotta do what you love, right?

(God I hope she doesn't see this...)

[All Along The Watchtower]

This is a mad band of lunatics on this site, but we all share a common deranged obsession with US politics.

I don't know what you're talking about. This is a very normal place full of very normal people.

[Vice President Christian Man]

I hope you get better soon. You're typically a civil poster who has a lot to offer but as other people have been saying, your mental health is the most important thing. I for the best.