Man Cave / Office of Harvey Updyke Jr -- RE-ELECT HARVEY TO THE HOUSE!!!
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Author Topic: Man Cave / Office of Harvey Updyke Jr -- RE-ELECT HARVEY TO THE HOUSE!!!  (Read 1946 times)
Harvey Updyke Jr🌹
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« on: December 05, 2020, 07:19:54 PM »
« edited: April 21, 2021, 02:58:15 AM by Harvey Updyke Jr🌹 »

Hi, my name is Harvey Updyke, Jr.  You may call me Harvey.  I am a newly single male since my wife left me after the trial.  "What trial," you might ask?  Allow me to regale you with a tale that takes us a few years back through time...

The year is 2010.  #1 Alabama just won the BCS National Championship against Texas in the Rose Bowl Stadium in Pasadena, California.  My life was looking mighty excellent.  In fact, you might say that I was "high on life."  I loved my wife, Mary Sue.  I was proud of my son Bear, who was named after legendary Alabama football coach Paul "Bear" Bryant, and my daughter Allie Bama, who was named after my favorite state and our football team.  Life was great.


That is, until Scam Newton won the Iron Bowl and went on to win the championship because that cow college down the road cheated and always has cheated.  I had to watch that abortion on television.  And then some barner idiot put a Scam jersey on the Bryant statue in front of Legion Field.  So I decided to get my payback.  Yessir, I did.

There are times when a man must look into the abyss.  He must look into that dark abyss... and he must go to Lowe's home improvement.  And he must buy Spike 80-DF, an industrial organophosphate poison stronger than Agent Orange, and he must go down to the Auburn campus and poison their historic oaks at Toomer's corner that they roll with toilet paper after every home victory.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yyc7lcGCMI0

This is my story.  Now you are able to say that you know me.  We are friends now.  Please take a seat and enjoy the free cashews.  Roll Tide.
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Harvey Updyke Jr🌹
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« Reply #1 on: December 05, 2020, 07:20:19 PM »
« Edited: December 05, 2020, 07:43:33 PM by Harvey Updyke Jr🌹 »

Harvey Updyke FACTS:

-I was a state trooper in the state of Texas.

-Long time college football fan.

-Extensive knowledge of the Welfare, Medicaid, Medicare, and Social Security systems.

-Amateur expert in the criminal justice system and judicial proceedings.

-Outdoorsman and lover of dogs.

-Father of two beautiful adult children.

-Labor party member ever since my recent incarceration and domestic terrorism charges.
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Harvey Updyke Jr🌹
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« Reply #2 on: December 05, 2020, 07:20:38 PM »
« Edited: December 05, 2020, 08:03:06 PM by Harvey Updyke Jr🌹 »

Bourbon Street, New Orleans, Louisiana

You might ask, "Harvey, why are you running for Atlasian House of Representatives?" My answer, while complicated, is grounded in our need to continue the legacy of a strong Labor tradition and preserve our Atlasian ideals.  You might follow up with, "But, Harvey, you're a redneck."  Well, both things are true and are not mutually-exclusive.

Although my greatest notoriety was destroying a historical site beloved by a college community, I also care about your rights.  I care about your right to healthcare.  I care about your right to freedom and prosperity.  I care about your right to safety and the freedom from being gunned down in public.  I demand a right to a healthy future free of pollution and carbon emissions.  I will protect our planet with bold action through climate policy.  Our Earth deserves better, and I will give it one so that we all may benefit.

I care about a strong and proud Atlasia.  I want to go to Nyman to look out for the people, not the corporate lobbyists.  In fact, I support publicly funded elections and always have.  Money isn't speech, and every vote should count equally. 

I support a strong defense and slashing the bloated overseas military budget.  I support tying 10% of defense spending to space exploration.  I have drafted a bold space policy with President MB, and I hope to be able to work with my fellow members in the House to turn these dreams into reality.  We must give our children hope.  We must provide a brighter future for ourselves and for future generations.

For these reasons, I am running for the Atlasian House of Representatives.  I want your support.  I NEED your support.  So show up and vote, Atlasia!  Send Harvey to Nyman!  May Dave Bless Atlasia!  Thank you and good night Bourbon Street!
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Mike Thick
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« Reply #3 on: December 05, 2020, 08:07:16 PM »
Endorsed!
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Left Wing
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« Reply #4 on: December 05, 2020, 08:25:26 PM »
Endorsed!
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S019
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« Reply #5 on: December 05, 2020, 08:37:08 PM »
Enthusiastically Endorsed!!!
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OBD
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« Reply #6 on: December 05, 2020, 08:37:37 PM »
ENDORSED!
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Terry the Fat Shark
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« Reply #7 on: December 06, 2020, 10:27:24 PM »
lmao
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Harvey Updyke Jr🌹
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« Reply #8 on: December 10, 2020, 01:45:43 PM »

thank you and roll tide


thanks FA! back atcha! roll tide roll


thank you! rtr!


thank you OBD, and rammer jammer!


thank you! your enthusiasm keeps my type II diabetes at bay
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Harvey Updyke Jr🌹
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« Reply #9 on: December 15, 2020, 12:04:41 PM »
Thank you everyone who worked hard to make this campaign victory possible.  Thank you to the staff, to my daughter Allie Bama for being a stubborn campaign manager.  Thank you to my son, Bear, for being my chief of staff and letter reader (since I am only half literate).  I will represent Atlasia with true Labor values.

Thank you, and may Dave bless Atlasia.
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Harvey Updyke Jr🌹
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« Reply #10 on: December 31, 2020, 11:30:52 AM »
Big announcement coming soon!  Stay tuned!!!
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Harvey Updyke Jr🌹
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« Reply #11 on: December 31, 2020, 12:14:12 PM »
« Edited: December 31, 2020, 12:23:34 PM by Harvey Updyke Jr🌹 »


Alabama Theater, Birmingham, Alabama
(800 attending, masks required, socially distanced)

Good morning.  It is a pleasure to be able to be here with you all today in my home state, in such a beautiful theater.  I remember watching "2001: A Space Odyssey" on this screen as a young adult.  I was enamored with its visuals and storytelling.  Everyone who saw this film could not wait for its future to become our reality.  So what went wrong?  Why has the South fallen by the wayside while our other regions have advanced beyond us in their quality of life and happiness?

We forgot our values.  It's quite simple.  We allowed ourselves to become enamored with competition instead of brotherhood.  With greed instead of community.  With selfishness instead of progress.  We forgot our Labor values.

Well it's time to remember them.  It's time to come together.  It's time to move forward.  To progress.  It's time to make the South maroon again.  It's time for a Labor South.  For a revolutionary spirit!  For our brothers and sisters and friends and community, we must come together and reject the inclination to hurt each other and accept the policies that bring us together!  We're all human, and we're all in this together.

I'm pleased and honored to tell you today that not only will I be running for re-election to the Atlasian House in February, but I will be running to secure your vote and become your next Atlasian senator from the Southern region!  Let's move forward together!  Thank you everyone, and may Dave Bless Atlasia and the Southern region!
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Left Wing
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« Reply #12 on: December 31, 2020, 08:01:26 PM »
Endorsed!
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Mike Thick
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« Reply #13 on: December 31, 2020, 08:01:58 PM »
Glorious news! Endorsed!
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OBD
Junior Chimp
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« Reply #14 on: December 31, 2020, 08:09:58 PM »
Proudly Endorsed!
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S019
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« Reply #15 on: December 31, 2020, 08:10:56 PM »
Enthusiastically Endorsed!!!!
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The world will shine with light in our nightmare
Just Passion Through
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« Reply #16 on: December 31, 2020, 09:03:16 PM »
Endorsed with gusto!
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Harvey Updyke Jr🌹
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« Reply #17 on: January 01, 2021, 01:56:49 PM »

Thanks comrades!  Onward to victory!
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President Punxsutawney Phil
TimTurner
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« Reply #18 on: January 11, 2021, 07:31:47 PM »
Endorsed!
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Terry the Fat Shark
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« Reply #19 on: January 13, 2021, 06:44:23 PM »
How are the trees doing sir
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Joey1996
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« Reply #20 on: January 20, 2021, 10:23:02 AM »
Endorsed.
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Harvey Updyke Jr🌹
jtsmd2
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« Reply #21 on: February 07, 2021, 04:09:18 PM »

THEY AREN'T DEAD YET BUT THEY WILL BE
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Pordor4
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« Reply #22 on: February 07, 2021, 09:23:30 PM »
Endorsed.
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« Reply #23 on: February 10, 2021, 01:39:57 PM »
Endorsed
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Dac10
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« Reply #24 on: February 18, 2021, 08:27:50 PM »
Endorsed!
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