What would you do as President?

[Senator Incitatus]

I would simply Have a Good Time.

[HillGoose]

bruh i'd:

- legalize all drugs and lower the drinking age to -37
- legalize prostitution and gambling nationwide
- buy the Balearic Islands from Spain and Cancun from Mexico
- burn the Volcker rule and the rest of Dodd-Frank, and lower capital gains and corporate taxes to 0%
- invade the Pitcairn Islands
- annihilate the FCC and all that other Tipper Gore MegaKaren bullsh**t
- throw a massive Project X rager at the White House
- invite all the ppl who love freedom and getting their mf bankroll up to immigrate to America, to brain drain the rest of the countries and maintain our edge

[Hindsight was 2020]

Legalize weed while commuting sentences for those currently in prison for possession
Tackle climate change through a federal jobs program for green jobs/energy that would make FDR blush
Pressure Congress for Puerto Rico and DC statehood
Amend the constitution that the Supreme Court membership can’t go pass the amount of numbered circuit courts as was originally tradition so after Puerto Rico and DC get state hoods we get 3 new judges for the Supreme Court to make up for Mitch’s garbage while also making a tit for tat on SC size harder
Open up diplomatic and economic relationships with Iran
Work with Western Europe to economically and politically isolate Russia including allowing her neighbor states into NATO
And get at a minimum get a public option for Obamacare passed

[Boobs]

Take off my panties and jump on the copier.

[Hammy]

When I come to power:

I’d start by banning electric cars in favor of cars built in Europe before 1975 or the first generation Honda Insight. Haven’t really thought much beyond that. Probably make Steamboat Willie public domain and break up Big Disney. Institute MMP for congressional and state legislature elections. Pack the courts with a few more liberals. Resurrect Paul Wellstone. Make New Zealand the 52nd and 53rd states (after DC). 85% Wealth tax on all wealth over $1 billion. Medicare for All, make cows eat seaweed so they don’t fart out methane, and pardon Snowden (but not Assange, f*^k him).

Why would you ban electric cars? Isn't that counterproductive for reducing our carbon footprint?

Electric cars still use fossil fuel (power plants have to supply the electricity), the batteries are toxic, and mining the materials for the batteries isn't exactly environmentally sound.