FT 14-21-How Stupid are the People of Iowa Act (debating)

[Roblox]

AN ACT
to combat the inherent and deep-seated ignorance, incompetence, innumeracy and illiteracy of the people of Iowa

Section 1 (Title)
i. The title of this Act shall be, the "How Stupid are the People of Iowa Act." It may be cited as the "Country Bumpkins Act."

Section 2 (Resolutions)
i. This Parliament hereby resolves that the state of Iowa has proven itself to be a beacon of ignorance, incompetence, innumeracy and illiteracy, and that this must be changed as a matter of the utmost urgency.
ii. The parliament resolves that the honourable sitting member from Iowa be excluded from this legislation, and recognises her as a great exception to the trend.

Section 3 (Combatting ignorance, incompetence, innumeracy and illiteracy)
i. To combat the deep seated ignorance and incompetence among the people of Iowa a Public Inquiry into this question shall be established along the lines of the common law Royal Commission. Such an inquiry shall be headed by the Regional Justice, and the recommendations it issues must be given due consideration and debate by the Commonwealth Government.
ii. To combat the innumeracy and illiteracy of the people of the State of Iowa, a universal adult education programme shall be established to counter these plagues on good society. This programme shall be costed by the regional department of education and shall be exclusively funded by taxes levied within the state of Iowa.
iii. To combat the institutional incompetence of the Iowan State Government, the entire State Government of Iowa is summarily dismissed and shall be replaced by an interim appointed administration that shall be headed by the parliamentarian KoopaDaQuick. Such interim administration shall be temporary until the Regional Government has determined that the internal culture of the Iowan Government has sufficiently changed for them to be deemed capable of self-administration, upon which regular elections will be held to re-establish Iowan self-government.

Section 4 (Implementation)
i. This act shall take effect maybe a day after its signature by the First Minister to allow for quality control to check and resolve discrepancies.

Sponsor: Australian Swing Voter.

[Unconditional Surrender Truman]

I'm going to be an annoying jerk by pointing out that the real-life caucuses are carried out by the Iowa Democratic Party, not the state of Iowa. While I can appreciate a good joke, I'm not comfortable spending regional money to address a problem that doesn't exist ITTL.

[PSOL]

On top of the echo done by the First Minister, I am very uncomfortable with several other stylistic and legal effects of this if passed.

Firstly, the title itself is wrongly directed and inflammatory to the people of Iowa. Rural Iowans don’t deserve to have verbal degradations be codified into our inclusive state, especially considering that this was the fault of a private company that was the inspiration of this app.

Moving forward, what really could spell trouble is the ramifications of S.3 C.iii. Dismissing the entire government for the fault of a company is nonsensical, especially if it is replaced by the undemocratic decree of coronating parliamentarian KoopaDaQuick. While I like all of my colleagues here, the way we are doing this could send us to a slippery slope of undemocratic appointments regionally and perhaps even nationally.

As a Leftist, I cannot accept such bigotry and tearing down of our democratic process like this, and I suggest the same for the rest of you all. I urge the rest of my fellow parliamentarians to not fall for passing this for the meme factor and seriously show our respect toward all those who reside in Fremont. I motion to table this bill.

[Pericles]

Classic ASV.

[AustralianSwingVoter]

Classic ASV.

You can't blame me for getting bored in the Fremont Parliament.

[Unconditional Surrender Truman]

I move for a vote.

[Unconditional Surrender Truman]

Seeing no objection, we proceed to a vote. Members will vote Aye, Nay, or abstain. Voting will last 48 hours or until all members have voted.


Nay.

[PSOL]

Nay

[KoopaDaQuick 🇵🇸]

I'm abstaining from debating and voting on this due to potential conflict of interest.

Abstain

[Roblox]

Nay

[AustralianSwingVoter]

Nay

[Unconditional Surrender Truman]

With four members against and one abstaining, the resolution fails.