The Comedy Goldmine(ONLY FUNNY ATLAS POSTS ALLOWED, NO BRTD ALLOWED)

[Speed of Sound]

So let me see.  If you accidently get some crap on your hand when you wipe, do you just wipe it off with toilet paper or do you wash your hands afterwards with water?

Why is your bum any different?

Well, for most people their bum is not used for eating. Of course, that doesn't apply to you.

[ATFFL]

Reality hits Harry, from the thread announcing someone's banning:

MissCatholic PMed me and told me that "she" thinks I'm cute.  I PMed her back and was like "thanks, so are you."  Then HE PMed me back and was like "oh, no I'm an old fat man" and I'm like ohhh.....
So I'm much less saddened by this than you might expect.

[MaC]

[MODU]

hahaha . . . that's funny.  I especially like the 666 on Pennsylvania. 

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Go commit suicide. Now. I'd hate to think of what would happen to the world if you remained on it much longer.

[Tender Branson]

That would be funny.  Could you imagine Blair in black leather, black sunglasses, riding a chopper while whipping out a sawed off shotgun?    And, in his proper British accent, have him say "I'll be back."  hahaha

However, on a semi-serious note, I could see him as Secretary General of the UN.  It would be a big improvement over De-caf Coffee Kofi Annan.

[minionofmidas]

That would be funny.  Could you imagine Blair in black leather, black sunglasses, riding a chopper while whipping out a sawed off shotgun?    And, in his proper British accent, have him say "I'll be back."  hahaha

However, on a semi-serious note, I could see him as Secretary General of the UN.  It would be a big improvement over De-caf Coffee Kofi Annan.

That crazy crusader? He's about the last man on earth I' d entrust with that position. Him and John Bolton.

[??????????]

The current Israel/Hezbollah skirmish is the tipping-point in the War on Terror.

If it wasn’t already clear, Israel’s lack of will to fight (mirroring the US lack of will) has made the outcome of the War on Terror known: The Muslims will Win. 

---

Lessons learned:

Wars efforts of half-measures fail.

The naïve idea that democracy itself brings civility has proven to be, well, naïve. 

The Arabs are not civil, neither is their religion.

---

Consequences:

Now that the terrorists have won, the entire Arab and Muslim world will become bolder in attacking Israel and its main (only) ally, the United States.  And the US, with 130k troops stuck in the middle of the Muslim world with the hopeless goal of bringing civility to the region, is destined to withdraw. 

In the long term, the US, shrinking on the world’s stage, will drop its support for Israel.  It is not a matter of if, but when. 

[YRABNNRM]

He said the Jews caused 9/11 when the second plane hit the building. (He was working with a Jew at the time he said this as well)

Which was a pretty odd thing for him to say, since 9/11 was going to happen anyway.  It follows 9/10 every year pretty much like clockwork.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Doesn’t maturity require the examination and comparison of facts?:

Islam:  I would not have heard of al-Zarqawi if it weren’t for people like you pointing him out.  I have no contact or association with al-Zarqawi.  He has zero influence over me.

Christianity: The populous is supported by churches which, in turn, indoctrinate the populous into hatred. Their societies are not integrated, nor are they tolerant of other religions.  Their societies are corrupt from top to bottom, and as such, as lost in a constant state of poverty.

[YRABNNRM]

Just like the same racist whites gave Michael Jackson and Mike Tyson a chance and then tried to take everything away from them after they achieve their goals. The racist whites can give you chance, but to maintain their support is hard to do. I didn't say winning rural voters, winning suburbian voters and city voters is an easier task.

Just like the racist Emeniem mocks Michael Jackson but he hangs around blacks. Whites can be contradictory at times.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I believe that day has come because for the last two months you've had something stuck up your ass.

Pot: Hey Kettle, you're pretty black.

[Platypus]

I believe that day has come because for the last two months you've had something stuck up your ass.

Pot: Hey Kettle, you're pretty black.

does anyone actually have a black kettle or pot anymore? Well, maybe pot, but kettel?

[Sam Spade]

Keystone Phil posing with his urban supporters.

[J. J.]

Keystone Phil posing with his urban supporters.

Ah, I have a wall full of those photos, except it's mostly women.

[Bacon King]

Some ugly kid caught Mike Naso.

[YRABNNRM]

I feel bad but...

I'm very good looking. All my life, that's all anyone has ever told me. Plus, ever since I quit spiking my hair in March, I've gotten more out of the blue compliments on it...and girls thinking I am in college. I was a male model when I was younger, and I personally think that my natural red glowing hair is unique so that I will never dye it.

It was only a matter of time...

[Bacon King]

(all quotes from this thread)

First:

(Naso picture removed)

I am a loser. I've come to face it. I spike my hair....nobody likes it...including me. I comb it back...older women (30yrs old+) and family go nuts and tell me how beautiful my hair is. But, no girls like me. I'm never gonna be in a relationship. I'm lonely, and have nobody. I'm a nice, charming, Italian guy. I was a model as a child...and everyone thought I was the best lookin' thing...now no girls want to look at me. I don't under stand how I can win 2nd place in a Barbizon modeling competition...in the same place Hallie Berry and Katie Holmes started...then get ignored like I look horrible by girls a few years later.

Life sucks.

And:

Ugly losers like me don't get girls.

(another Naso picture removed)

But now:

I'm very good looking. All my life, that's all anyone has ever told me. Plus, ever since I quit spiking my hair in March, I've gotten more out of the blue compliments on it...and girls thinking I am in college. I was a male model when I was younger, and I personally think that my natural red glowing hair is unique so that I will never dye it.

(another Naso picture removed, that looks just like the other two)

At least the guy's got confidence now, I guess.

[Jake]

I know he [Raj Bhakta] can make a mean cup of coffee though!  His whole family works at the Frankford El Stop Dunkin Donuts.   One problem is they put too much damn sugar.  "You wan cleamsugar."

Sweet Flyers.

[Keystone Phil]

I am sure Lieberman has black supporters as well.

So yall need to go  off.  You all are about as intelligent as Mississippians. Arkansas is the most intelligent southern state.

Blacks get blamed for every problem in this country it seems, and yall have nothing better to do but to argue about politics all day.

[Keystone Phil]

I know he [Raj Bhakta] can make a mean cup of coffee though!  His whole family works at the Frankford El Stop Dunkin Donuts.   One problem is they put too much damn sugar.  "You wan cleamsugar."

Sweet Flyers.

Oh, but he's not a bigot. No, not at all. When a Republican brings up Mayor Street they are racists though.

[WMS]

Your brain is 0% Female, 150% Male



You have a complete boy brain.
Always thinking about sports and sex, you tend to be driven by emotion.
When you're not beating your wife, your favorite activities include watching football, drinking beer, and changing your motor oil.
You're the typical alpha male.

*snicker*

[YRABNNRM]

I am sure Lieberman has black supporters as well.

So yall need to go  off.  You all are about as intelligent as Mississippians. Arkansas is the most intelligent southern state.

Blacks get blamed for every problem in this country it seems, and yall have nothing better to do but to argue about politics all day.

[Michael Z]

How is the American University of Beruit? Is it a good college?

What's left of it is excellent!

[YRABNNRM]

Yeh I will believe that lie when pigs fly out of your retarded racist ass. No way in hell would there be a thread about this picture if those people in that picture were white. Stop being such a hypocrite jackass.