Confessions of Atlas

[Nightcore Nationalist]

I hate being autistic and feel like a second-class person. I'm jealous of people that don't have to deal with so many challenges.

I know this feel all too well.

Autism being a spectrum and all, I've had to deal with severely autistic people who could barely function. Presumably, since you can post on this site coherently and rather intelligently, you're toward the middle of the spectrum, say, Asperger's? I could be way off base. But I know even the so-called Normies deal with the same awkwardness and insecurity, it's simply handled in another way. Correct me if I'm wrong.

My youngest brother’s autism is so severe that he could never post here, let alone live on his own in any capacity. The spectrum is way, way, way too long. Socially awkward but functioning kids should not be on the spectrum period. They shouldn’t be put in the same classroom like my brother (for their own sake), and we should if anything be integrating functioning people with mild Aspergers into the general population. It’d be good for their self-esteem but also would lead to more awareness.

When I was a kid circa 2003, I knew of nobody who had an autistic relative in their family. Societal awareness has improved dramatically and strangers are way more sympathetic to him then they were in 15 years. We used to get thrown out of restaurants because his behavior issues.

Last time we all went out to dinner, my brother was a little noisy. A woman stood up and yelled over to my mom to “don’t EVER apologize for him.” It’s a full 180 on societal perception of autism.

Sanchez, I do not in any way intend to minimize what your brother experiences each day, but high-functioning autism extends way beyond social awkwardness.  I think you can make an argument that Aspergers ought to be used to distinguish high-functioning autistic people from low-functioning autistic people; its erasure from scientific literature on the subject is fairly new, after all.  But the spectrum is not a one-dimensional scale.

Before I started school, I literally begged my parents to homeschool me instead, because the thought of being in a classroom with a bunch of kids I don't know scared the sh!t out of me.  While I have managed to cope somewhat with my interaction problems since that time, as a child I had little if any friends.  Throughout all my years in public school I tended to myself whenever possible, because I literally could not handle being in groups of people.  I had the same problem in college.

At one point I walked with a gait, but thankfully I was able to outgrow it (mostly due to social pressure/comments from my parents).  I seldom made eye contact and still struggle with that today.  The mere sight of excessive visual activity induces panic attacks.  Perhaps most importantly I am selectively mute.  (The internet is the only place where I can speak openly and confidently.)  But in person, even talking to people who I've known for years is a challenge.  Often times my inability to speak has induced literal mental breakdowns.

Living with this condition is not fun, and if there were a cure for this I would take it in a heartbeat.  But for now all I can do is cope and pretend as though I'm normal.  (And it rarely works; most people figure out that I'm mentally abnormal fairly quickly.)

Anyway it wasn't my intention to write my whole autobiography here, but that is my experience with autism.  I may be high-functioning, but were it not for therapy and medication and other medical interventions and school accomodations I wouldn't be here right now.

Sorry to hear about that, that's an inenviable position.  I have at least ADHD or mild aspergers- difficulty with eye contact, verbal expression, maintaining a train of thought and short term memory loss among other issues.  I haven't taken any medication since the early 2000s back when society was far more ignorant of these issues and if there was effective medication I'd take it without hesitation.  I can appear normal-ish with substantial effort but I've been too embarrassed to admit it even with close friends until recently-I'm 26.

[Boobs]

I will outlive every single person on this forum. Sorry, but it’s the truth.

[Antonio the Sixth]

I haven’t seen a single full Star Wars movie.

If you ever decide to watch just one to say you did it, the two most worth watching are A New Hope (1977, originally titled Star Wars) and it's direct sequel The Empire Strikes Back (1980), which is considered the very best one by most.

That's the conventional wisdom, but it's wrong. A New Hope is only so well regarded because it's the first one, otherwise it would be considered okay at best. ESB is very good but it's overrated because the most iconic moments came from it and original Star Wars fans latched onto it due to nostalgia. That also explains why the prequels (which have two okay films and one excellent one) are criminally underrated, because the people who saw the originals as children/teens then saw the prequels as young adults and obviously they didn't meet their idealized standards.

If you want to watch the Star Wars films, you should watch all six (the Disney garbage doesn't count) or none at all. There are several possible orders, and they each have their pros and cons, but order of release (4-5-6-1-2-3) seems like a safe bet.

[HillGoose]

- I lost my virginity behind a Walmart

- I used to be addicted to speed

idk those might not be too surprising lol.

[Gracile]

I'm a little drunk rn.

[Skunk]

I'm a little drunk rn.

The best way to browse Atlas!

[FairBol]

I once got ejected from the bleachers at a high school basketball game for swearing at a ref. 

Also, I like Steely Dan.  LOL. 

[Orwell]

I elementary school I thought that buffalo soldiers were like Calvary but instead of horses they fought on the back of buffalos. I was very confused about the discrimination they faced.

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

I elementary school I thought that buffalo soldiers were like Calvary but instead of horses they fought on the back of buffalos. I was very confused about the discrimination they faced.

But like camel soldiers, they were some of the best soldiers when a battle was on a Wednesday. 

[𝕭𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖆 𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖔𝖑𝖆]

Part I:
I have never worn a mask even once during all these months.


Part II:
I have a fixation for creating alternate universes of some kind. In my life I created the names for an entire alternate Pokémon generation, countless maps of invented cities, countless maps of invented regions, many alternate sports timelines, and currently I am doing two alternate political timelines. I have wasted a freaking lot of my life on those things.

I talk to myself frequently, including in public.

When I was in primary school I sometimes had instinctive aggressive behaviours and I hurt more than one classmate. That sh**t went away during middle school, basically.

I have always been pretty pedantic, but I think I peaked in obnoxiousness between middle school and the first two years of high school.

I could go on with this kind of things for a bit. Let me just say that I believe most people who met me for the first time before I was 15 or 16 considered me a weirdo (in a negative way).
I know for certain at least two people (probably many more), during my life, have speculated that I might have a very mild developmental disorder. I have always found that very sickening and I find it even more sickening now, after having read posts here by people with actual disorders and much bigger problems than mine and for which I'm really sorry.
In truth, I rarely think about all these things and I'm relatively happy with my social life now. I just think they were worth saying here.


Part III:

Last night I cried after watching the film Highlander, specifically the scene where Heather dies. I was thinking about my girlfriend while crying. I haven't told her yet. It is cathartic but also pretty embarrassing.


Part IV:

Once I almost cried reading the history of the Aral Sea. It is really sad.

[GM Team Member and Senator WB]

my household is clothes optional, so like 80% of my atlas posts are made while naked. Including this one.

[West_Midlander]

I've never watched Breaking Bad or Stranger Things and I do have Netflix.

[Nightcore Nationalist]

I have never seen the Godfather 1 or 2, or any of the Indiana Jones movies without the actor who shall not be named:

[diptheriadan]

If, when making a PB&J sandwich, you do the jelly first and then stick your nasty ass knife in the peanut butter without wiping that sh!t off, you deserve death.

[morgankingsley]

I've never watched Breaking Bad or Stranger Things and I do have Netflix.

just dont binge them if you do

[Left Wing]

I was on local tv standing next to Mike Pence in 2014

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

I haven’t seen a single full Star Wars movie.

If you ever decide to watch just one to say you did it, the two most worth watching are A New Hope (1977, originally titled Star Wars) and it's direct sequel The Empire Strikes Back (1980), which is considered the very best one by most.

That's the conventional wisdom, but it's wrong. A New Hope is only so well regarded because it's the first one, otherwise it would be considered okay at best. ESB is very good but it's overrated because the most iconic moments came from it and original Star Wars fans latched onto it due to nostalgia. That also explains why the prequels (which have two okay films and one excellent one) are criminally underrated, because the people who saw the originals as children/teens then saw the prequels as young adults and obviously they didn't meet their idealized standards.

If you want to watch the Star Wars films, you should watch all six (the Disney garbage doesn't count) or none at all. There are several possible orders, and they each have their pros and cons, but order of release (4-5-6-1-2-3) seems like a safe bet.

I've developed a fondness for A New Hope in the past few years that I didn't have growing up. I think this has primarily to do with the intense use of practical effects and, outside of the desert, much of the purely "technological" sets we get--the Death Star and the Millennium Falcon, primarily--and its status as a sort-of complete story on its own. Empire was my traditional favorite as a child.

[Boobs]

My father was an archer. My uncle was a spade. My grandfather was a flour pigeon. My grandmother was the village chief. My mother was Mary Hussein. We smoked pot all the time. We never drank alcohol. We ate whatever we wanted. Mary liked to dress like a man. She liked to bathe in cool water. And she giggled like a baby. All the other members of her family were chickens. Digging the grave was boring as hell.

[Mexican Wolf]

Uh, hello, my name is Mexican Wolf and I love terrible puns.

Back in 2017, I read through the entirety of Milo Yiannopoulos' Dangerous simply because I was really interested in the editors' notes.

I've only ever seen one Star Wars movie in full (Attack of the Clones), yet Spaceballs is one of my favorite movies and I made an amazing Dark Helmet costume for one Halloween.

I'm mostly comfortable with my asexuality, but I always feel a little awkward at parties when I'm the only person there without a partner.

[𝕭𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖆 𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖔𝖑𝖆]

Uh, hello, my name is Mexican Wolf and I love terrible puns.

Back in 2017, I read through the entirety of Milo Yiannopoulos' Dangerous simply because I was really interested in the editors' notes.

I've only ever seen one Star Wars movie in full (Attack of the Clones), yet Spaceballs is one of my favorite movies and I made an amazing Dark Helmet costume for one Halloween.

I'm mostly comfortable with my asexuality, but I always feel a little awkward at parties when I'm the only person there without a partner.

Well there are lots of people without a partner on this forum so you are in the right place.

[Boobs]

By the time I was nineteen, I knew everything that was going to happen. By the time I was twenty-one, I knew nothing. And when I did finally get some answers, they didn’t make any sense. I didn’t realize how special I was. So I started with the stuff that really matters. I practiced walking with a fancy walking stick. I added fire trucks to my list of things to do, because it’s really easy to get stuck in your own head and not want to do your fire trucks. When I was twenty-two, I even won at Jenga without cheating. It was powerful stuff.

[Co-Chair Bagel23]

my household is clothes optional, so like 80% of my atlas posts are made while naked. Including this one.

[skbl17]

- I'm a "news junkie", that is, someone who likes news presentation (graphics, music, etc.). It's actually the reason why I hated CNN long before Trump came along - I felt they had moved too far away from reporting on actual news, instead focusing on flashy graphics and talking heads in an attempt to keep up with Fox News and MSNBC. It's hard for me to watch a CNN broadcast (or election night show) from 2000 without feeling disappointed with what we have now.

- I had an obsession with school buses when I was younger. I got over it by the end of middle school, but my online persona is influenced by it even today: "skbl17" is actually an evolution of a username I used to have on other sites in my middle school days.

Part II:
I have a fixation for creating alternate universes of some kind. In my life I created the names for an entire alternate Pokémon generation, countless maps of invented cities, countless maps of invented regions, many alternate sports timelines, and currently I am doing two alternate political timelines. I have wasted a freaking lot of my life on those things.

I talk to myself frequently, including in public.

Same here, on both counts actually! Well, I don't really talk to myself in public, but I do talk to myself quite often.

As for alternate universes, I generally don't consider myself a "superfan" of anything fictional unless I have alternate universes/headcanons chock full of invented cities, countries, elections (if applicable,) timelines, characters, and maps. Funnily enough, despite my lore-driven nature, I don't write fanfiction because I have a tendency to use excessive detail.

[𝕭𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖆 𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖔𝖑𝖆]

Part II:
I have a fixation for creating alternate universes of some kind. In my life I created the names for an entire alternate Pokémon generation, countless maps of invented cities, countless maps of invented regions, many alternate sports timelines, and currently I am doing two alternate political timelines. I have wasted a freaking lot of my life on those things.

I talk to myself frequently, including in public.

Same here, on both counts actually! Well, I don't really talk to myself in public, but I do talk to myself quite often.

As for alternate universes, I generally don't consider myself a "superfan" of anything fictional unless I have alternate universes/headcanons chock full of invented cities, countries, elections (if applicable,) timelines, characters, and maps. Funnily enough, despite my lore-driven nature, I don't write fanfiction because I have a tendency to use excessive detail.

Wow. I am not so sophisticated with alternate universes, for the simple reason that I want to do too many things at once. Like, if I want to do an alternate electoral universe based on American parties and one based on German parties and one based on British parties, they have to be three different ones. That leaves little space to bother with characters and other details.

[LabourJersey]

In 2013 I was a Chris Christie supporter (despite being in HS), and knocked on probably more than 100 doors for him.

My political conversion to the left was pretty fast: I went from being a Christie supporter in November 2013 to being a Sanders supporter by November 2015.