Daycare vs Stay At Home Parent

[JA]

We all know how difficult it'd be to maintain a middle-class family with only one person working full-time. However, if it was achievable (or if you were comfortable with a less than middle-class existence), would you prefer to have either you or your spouse remain home with your children? Or would you prefer both parents to pursue careers and the children sent to daycare providers?

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

I'd prefer to stay home with my children, honestly. I could see myself getting jealous if my wife socialized extensively outside the house and I didn't, but there are ways to communicate about things like that.

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

Write-in: Child-free

[Lechasseur]

If it was achievable financially, I'd much rather have my kids be raised by a stay at home parent (either my spouse or I), it's much better for the kids imo.

The thing is, that isn't feasible for most people anymore if they want to be able to live somewhat decently, given modern day salaries vs cost of living.

[Esteemed Jimmy]

Write-in: Child-free

[RINO Tom]

My girlfriend is a nurse, and I definitely won't be staying home, so daycare it is.  Luckily, due to her fairly irregular schedule, it would only be part time.

[Former President tack50]

Write-in: Grandparents take care of the kids

Now seriously, the ideal scenario is normally that one parent works mornings and the other parent works evenings. That way both parents get to raise their kid and also get to work. Best of both worlds in a way, though I admit it isn't available to everyone as it still requires some level of flexibility with your employer. Also, the parent that works evenings does get a bit less time with their kid as most of the time the kid will be asleep. And of course both parents have a lot less time together (pretty much weekends and late at night only).

This is how I was raised by the way and it went pretty well. Then again, daycare/Kindergarten actually helps kids learning, some very basic stuff is taught there after all.

[The Dowager Mod]

I did the stay at home thing for various reasons.

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

Write-in: Grandparents take care of the kids

[Mr. Smith]

WI: Godparents take care of the kids.

[fhtagn]

If potential partner and I could afford it, ideally stay at home, or at least one of us work a part time gig to limit how much daycare is needed.

[Boobs]

Children ought to raise themselves.


I was raised by Nanny.

[OSR stands with Israel]

I was taken care by a stay at home mom, and I can tell you I dont think it would be possible for me to have had a better childhood or a more loving mom so I will be biased towards the stay at parent.

[Senator Incitatus]

I would prefer that I or my wife be home; ideally, we would each be home on different days of the week. After law school, I will actively seek firms with generous paternity leave policies (though I'm not hopeful this exists).

I will not be subjecting my children to my parents' parenting... styles. I don't even think they plan to live anywhere close to me, anyway.

[Starry Eyed Jagaloon]

0-3: One stay at home parent, one works full time.
3-6: One full time, one half time parent. Child in Pre-K/K.
7-18: Both parents work full time, ideally with enough flexibility to be home by 4:00. Child in grades 1-12.

[Orthogonian Society Treasurer]

Letting your children be raised by strangers is a bad idea.

[Cokeland Saxton]

I would try to avoid daycare if possible, because I wouldn't trust a stranger to watch my baby/toddler for 2/3 of the waking day. Plus, children are less likely to get sick if they stay home.

[Continential]

Write-in: Child-free

[John Dule]

I recall a state representative from my area (damn, can't remember his name right now) pushing really hard for "early childhood education" last year. I never bought it. Daycare and even preschool are basically substitutes for parenting, because we now live in an economy in which both parents have to work just to care for their child. I maintain that the first, best teacher/caregiver for toddlers should be their parents.

I mean, look at me. I didn't go to preschool, and I turned out just fine. Now I spend my free time making county-by-county MS paint maps of hypothetical 2020 election scenarios, and yelling at anonymous strangers on the internet. Completely well-adjusted.

[Crumpets]

When I was little, my parents hired a nanny. I think I got some pretty nice experiences just being out and about as a small child that I wouldn't have gotten if I was staying at home with a parent or going to daycare. So that would probably be my top choice, even if I'm guessing it can be cost-prohibitive.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

"stay-at-home."   half-day preschool for age 3-4 if we find a really good one.

[Senator Incitatus]

When I was little, my parents hired a nanny. I think I got some pretty nice experiences just being out and about as a small child that I wouldn't have gotten if I was staying at home with a parent or going to daycare. So that would probably be my top choice, even if I'm guessing it can be cost-prohibitive.

There's no reason a stay-at-home parent has to literally stay at home. That's just the name to draw contrast to parents who go to work and find replacements. SAH parenting done right should include plenty of experiences outside. I can't wait to take my son/daughter on walks through the park in a Babybjörn.

The overwhelming desire expressed here – to parent our own children – further convinces me that government should mandate paid parental leave, either by employers or a direct welfare program.

[Virginiá]

0-3: One stay at home parent, one works full time.
3-6: One full time, one half time parent. Child in Pre-K/K.
7-18: Both parents work full time, ideally with enough flexibility to be home by 4:00. Child in grades 1-12.

I like this general idea, but I would make mine more like:

0-5: One stay at home parent, one works full time.
5-11: One full time, one half time parent.
11-18: Both parents work full time, ideally with enough flexibility to be home by 5:00 (Preferably earlier than 5 but not guaranteed to be possible)


That would be how I would like to do it, more or less. It may need to be adjusted if I had more than one child.

I'm tempted to think that the part time work stage would begin sooner unless my partner had a pretty good job, though.

[Santander]

My grandparents died before I was born, and so did both my parents' grandparents. But yes, ideally, one parent should stay at home and do the noble job of raising their young children until they get to school age. Of course, this is easy to say for city dwellers with one kid or two kids 1-2 years apart, but this gets more complicated as the number of years between oldest and youngest increases.

[RI]

While I've been in grad school, my wife has worked full-time while I've stayed at home in the mornings, then my infant daughter has gone to daycare for the afternoons, and then I'd go to work. I like that half-time daycare allows her to get in some regular social interaction with other children her age, but she still gets plenty of time at home with me.

However, we'll be moving out of state soon, and I'll be starting a full-time position. The current plan is for my wife to stay home full-time after the move, but we'll have to see how finances shake out.