BREAKING: Florida man gropes fingerprint technician after being arrested

[Greedo punched first]

Florida man gropes fingerprint technician after being arrested for disorderly conduct.

[pbrower2a]

This story appears in Newsweek? I hope that this is not a pattern, as this is what I would expect in the National Enquirer as a 'national' story. A local story? Sure. I live in a community full of meth labs.

Assault and battery upon a government employee doing official duty is a serious offense. 

[T'Chenka]

Did he call her sugar t__s and rant about jews running the world, though?

[Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Bodies for Biden]

I'm not sure if we're just starting a Florida thread trend or if you unironically posted this as breaking news.

[Progressive Pessimist]

Keep 'em coming. These surreal Florida stories sustain me.

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

How is this "BREAKING" news.

BREAKING news is when a candidate suddenly makes a surprise entrance into the race. BREAKING news is when shots are fired on a university campus or in a house of worship. BREAKING news is when a thousand year old cathedral burns down. BREAKING news is when Joan Rivers died after a botched neck lift.

This isn't breaking news. It's weird news. It's kinda funny news (actually not really because sexual assault is never funny) I guess, but it isn't breaking news.

[Progressive Pessimist]

How is this "BREAKING" news.

BREAKING news is when a candidate suddenly makes a surprise entrance into the race. BREAKING news is when shots are fired on a university campus or in a house of worship. BREAKING news is when a thousand year old cathedral burns down. BREAKING news is when Joan Rivers died after a botched neck lift.

This isn't breaking news. It's weird news. It's kinda funny news (actually not really because sexual assault is never funny) I guess, but it isn't breaking news.

I can agree with that.