Name Tradition in Marriage

[John Dibble]

My wife will take my last name.  It will not be hyphenated either.

ahh, but you're gay, so you'll never have a wife

Actually he's bi.

[Hatman 🍁]

My wife will take my last name.  It will not be hyphenated either.

Back to your old trolling self are we?

[dazzleman]

This is clearly the fault of anti-feminist men. Feminists treat their spouses with equality.

Dude, if you believe that, I want some of what you are smoking.

Feminists are like communists who adhere to the Brezhnev Doctrine -- what's mine is mine, and what's yours is negotiable.  If you think feminists are committed to equality, you really need a reality check.

Why do you hate your own gender so much?

I am simply pointing out the inequalities in marriage. I do not hate men as a gender--only the ones that oppress women.

In case you hadn't noticed, not every marriage inequality favors men.  You really need to get out more and see beyond the feminist brainwashing that you have gotten.  It's very sad, actually.

[dazzleman]

That's funny because eastern cultures generally haven't adopted the name-changing practice.  It kind of proves my point that it's irrelevant.

Yes, they do. One of the reasons boys are preferred over girls is because men carry the family surname to the next generation. Who told you otherwise?

I know that Korean women don't take their husband's names.  I don't believe Chinese women do either.

[Virginian87]

Well, I'm a firm believer in the idea of the woman taking the man's last name.  I don't believe it's sexist, and it should be encouraged.  Seriously, people (especially feminists) have gone overboard with the sexism issue, assaulting almost anything nowadays.

[Hatman 🍁]

Well, I'm a firm believer in the idea of the woman taking the man's last name.  I don't believe it's sexist, and it should be encouraged.  Seriously, people (especially feminists) have gone overboard with the sexism issue, assaulting almost anything nowadays.

It's this kind of attitude that really makes me feel angry. I don't mind the people saying that this is not an issue to worry over, but when people say this practice should be encouraged.... urgh!

[A18]

My wife will take my last name.  It will not be hyphenated either.

Back to your old trolling self are we?

How is that trolling?

[dazzleman]

Well, I'm a firm believer in the idea of the woman taking the man's last name.  I don't believe it's sexist, and it should be encouraged.  Seriously, people (especially feminists) have gone overboard with the sexism issue, assaulting almost anything nowadays.

It's this kind of attitude that really makes me feel angry. I don't mind the people saying that this is not an issue to worry over, but when people say this practice should be encouraged.... urgh!

Earl, I really think you ought to occupy your mind with real problems.  Why spend your time thinking about a non-issue.

[Virginian87]

Well, I'm a firm believer in the idea of the woman taking the man's last name.  I don't believe it's sexist, and it should be encouraged.  Seriously, people (especially feminists) have gone overboard with the sexism issue, assaulting almost anything nowadays.

It's this kind of attitude that really makes me feel angry. I don't mind the people saying that this is not an issue to worry over, but when people say this practice should be encouraged.... urgh!

Earl, I really think you ought to occupy your mind with real problems.  Why spend your time thinking about a non-issue.

Seriously.  It's not a big deal, Earl!

[Hatman 🍁]

Well, I'm a firm believer in the idea of the woman taking the man's last name.  I don't believe it's sexist, and it should be encouraged.  Seriously, people (especially feminists) have gone overboard with the sexism issue, assaulting almost anything nowadays.

It's this kind of attitude that really makes me feel angry. I don't mind the people saying that this is not an issue to worry over, but when people say this practice should be encouraged.... urgh!

Earl, I really think you ought to occupy your mind with real problems.  Why spend your time thinking about a non-issue.

Well, I have a set of values I believe in, and this is one I feel strongly about. Plus, I think it is more of an issue than perhaps you think it is. A name can mean a lot to a person, it is someone's definition. I just don't think it's right that one gender should lose their identity in marriage and the other gets to keep theirs. I'm proud to be a Washburn, and I will be proud to be a ___-Washburn when I get married

[dazzleman]

Well, I have a set of values I believe in, and this is one I feel strongly about. Plus, I think it is more of an issue than perhaps you think it is. A name can mean a lot to a person, it is someone's definition. I just don't think it's right that one gender should lose their identity in marriage and the other gets to keep theirs. I'm proud to be a Washburn, and I will be proud to be a ___-Washburn when I get married

Nobody has to change their name if they don't want to.  It's a non-issue unless it's forced.

[Everett]

I hope I never end up with someone who obsesses over surnames - one of us is most assuredly going to take one surname or the other to avoid size issues. If he's too obsessed to allow me to take his surname, then he had better take mine and be content with people misspelling or mispronouncing it like crazy...

(Though I think my Nikodemski surname is nice, I wouldn't expect anyone to actually want it.)

[Virginian87]

Well, I'm a firm believer in the idea of the woman taking the man's last name.  I don't believe it's sexist, and it should be encouraged.  Seriously, people (especially feminists) have gone overboard with the sexism issue, assaulting almost anything nowadays.

It's this kind of attitude that really makes me feel angry. I don't mind the people saying that this is not an issue to worry over, but when people say this practice should be encouraged.... urgh!

Earl, I really think you ought to occupy your mind with real problems.  Why spend your time thinking about a non-issue.

Well, I have a set of values I believe in, and this is one I feel strongly about. Plus, I think it is more of an issue than perhaps you think it is. A name can mean a lot to a person, it is someone's definition. I just don't think it's right that one gender should lose their identity in marriage and the other gets to keep theirs. I'm proud to be a Washburn, and I will be proud to be a ___-Washburn when I get married

So how's this going to be with your grandchildren?  They'll have four or six hyphenated names as a surname?  But that's your probl-, I mean choice.  

[Hatman 🍁]

Well, I'm a firm believer in the idea of the woman taking the man's last name.  I don't believe it's sexist, and it should be encouraged.  Seriously, people (especially feminists) have gone overboard with the sexism issue, assaulting almost anything nowadays.

It's this kind of attitude that really makes me feel angry. I don't mind the people saying that this is not an issue to worry over, but when people say this practice should be encouraged.... urgh!

Earl, I really think you ought to occupy your mind with real problems.  Why spend your time thinking about a non-issue.

Well, I have a set of values I believe in, and this is one I feel strongly about. Plus, I think it is more of an issue than perhaps you think it is. A name can mean a lot to a person, it is someone's definition. I just don't think it's right that one gender should lose their identity in marriage and the other gets to keep theirs. I'm proud to be a Washburn, and I will be proud to be a ___-Washburn when I get married

So how's this going to be with your grandchildren?  They'll have four or six hyphenated names as a surname?  But that's your probl-, I mean choice. 

I've already admitted to the shortcomings of hyphenated names. It's a shame really, but it's just an aesthetic problem. I guess, there would be a point where the drop the names that are hard to spell, like Everett has mentioned. I don't mind at all when people change their names when they get married for a good reason like the fact their surname is "Butt" or is foreign sounding, or is long or for some other reason. But, to change one's name because of tradition, is not something I support.

[dazzleman]

I've already admitted to the shortcomings of hyphenated names. It's a shame really, but it's just an aesthetic problem. I guess, there would be a point where the drop the names that are hard to spell, like Everett has mentioned. I don't mind at all when people change their names when they get married for a good reason like the fact their surname is "Butt" or is foreign sounding, or is long or for some other reason. But, to change one's name because of tradition, is not something I support.

The problem is more than aesthetic.  A person can't have 16 last names, with the number doubling each generation.

And if people are forced to change their names because they get too long, how is that any different from changing them due to marriage?

Face it; your idea is really only practical for one generation, if that.  You need to think a little longer term, dude.

[Alcon]

I've already admitted to the shortcomings of hyphenated names. It's a shame really, but it's just an aesthetic problem. I guess, there would be a point where the drop the names that are hard to spell, like Everett has mentioned. I don't mind at all when people change their names when they get married for a good reason like the fact their surname is "Butt" or is foreign sounding, or is long or for some other reason. But, to change one's name because of tradition, is not something I support.

The problem is more than aesthetic.  A person can't have 16 last names, with the number doubling each generation.

And if people are forced to change their names because they get too long, how is that any different from changing them due to marriage?

Face it; your idea is really only practical for one generation, if that.  You need to think a little longer term, dude.

What's the issue with the person selecting the name they like best?

Certainly, if my last name was something like Ratzenberger, I'd give my kids my wife's name.

[Inverted Things]

Earl, you're being unreasonable here. Why do you care about a woman's CHOICE to change her name?

People like following traditions. That's why traditions are so successful. A couple's CHOICE to follow tradition is their business and their business only.

As a TOLERANT democrat, I would have assumed that you would be TOLERANT about a couple's CHOICE.

Isn't that what tolerance is all about?

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Well, I'm a firm believer in the idea of the woman taking the man's last name.  I don't believe it's sexist, and it should be encouraged.  Seriously, people (especially feminists) have gone overboard with the sexism issue, assaulting almost anything nowadays.

Good to see you around again

[CheeseWhiz]

(Though I think my Nikodemski surname is nice, I wouldn't expect anyone to actually want it.)

Actually, I like the sound of Mark Nikodemski better than the sound of Mark Ard

[nclib]

It's actually a far more difficult process to change your name.  If a woman keeps her name, she just indicates it on the marriage certificate, and there's nothing more to be done.

Changing her name requires notifying social security, going to the DMV for a new license, etc.

In the grand scheme of things, this is nothing of course.  The whole issue is just a red herring.  People who bring up these issues are simply looking to create problems.  It is always possible to find a problem if you look hard enough.

Of course, it is much more difficult for the woman to change her name than for the man to keep his name.

I agree that this isn't the biggest of issues. However, given that women do most of the compromising in a marriage (studies have shown that even in couples that consider themselves to be egalitarian, men get their way more than half the time), it is ironic that marriage starts out with the woman compromising.

[dazzleman]

However, given that women do most of the compromising in a marriage (studies have shown that even in couples that consider themselves to be egalitarian, men get their way more than half the time), it is ironic that marriage starts out with the woman compromising.

I don't know what studies you're talking about.  Were they funded or sponsored by NOW, by any chance?

Every marriage is different, but in most marriages I've observed, women get their way at least half the time.  Of course, there are some where the husband runs roughshod over the wife, but there are many others where the opposite is true.

It's absurd for you to state that women do most of the compromising in marriage in general.  You have no basis to make this statement, and neither does anybody else.  Statements like that are meant to advance a political agenda, not to reflect reality.

[Richard]

I will assume my wife will take my last name.  There is simply no liberty here.  My first son will be named after me, and my first daughter after her (but that is her choice).  Men name the boys, women the girls.  All will carry my, and only my, name.  It is my household, not hers.

[dazzleman]

I will assume my wife will take my last name.  There is simply no liberty here.  My first son will be named after me, and my first daughter after her (but that is her choice).  Men name the boys, women the girls.  All will carry my, and only my, name.  It is my household, not hers.

Richius, you're pretty extreme.  It's really guys who think like you who add fuel to these dreadful feminists.

[Richard]

I love feminists.  I think they are cute.

I'm not extreme; I only go with tradition.  Tradition is important to me, and I will find a girl that shares that belief.

[John Dibble]

I will assume my wife will take my last name.  There is simply no liberty here. ... It is my household, not hers.

Advice for you - don't marry a woman with a mind of her own. It won't work well for you as you'll fight a lot.

BTW, I would only marry a woman I would have respect for - given that, the household would be ours not mine.