Name Tradition in Marriage

[nclib]

A discussion in this thread inspired my poll.

Dazzleman cited the fact the 90% of women take their husbands' name when they get married and that number has increased in the past decade.

Do you see this as a positive tradition or a negative tradition? Should it be encouraged or discouraged?

My view on this is that this tradition stands in the way of women's equality. It suggests that men are the head of the household. It also, in some cases, forces women to reestablish their careers.

[Emsworth]

I see the tradition as neither positive nor negative.

Social conservatives might argue that the name change encourages family unity. Social liberals might argue that the name change indicates the inequality of women. However, I do not find either argument convincing.

While some people think that surnames are very important (and I entirely respect their views), I do not feel that this is an important issue. What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

[John Dibble]

Neither. It's just a name, get over it.

[Alcon]

Personally, I don't think there's much need for it.  It's easier to find people later if they keep their name.  I'd think it's kind of annoying to go through the name change.

But I have no issue with it.

[dazzleman]

It's not that important an issue in the grand scheme of things.

For many people, it's a matter of convenience.  I know a number of women who started out keeping their name when they got married, but later found it to much more convenient to change it, for a number of reasons.

I don't think it's in any way an impediment to women's equality, nor does it force anybody to reestablish a career.  I know plenty of women who changed their name with absolutely no negative effect on their career.

[Everett]

Option Four - "Who the hell cares?". If you want to change your name, go ahead; no-one should stop you from doing so. If you don't want to change your name, go ahead; no-one should stop you from doing so. I'm tired of hearing useless, immature bullsh**t about "blah blah blah women aren't equal to men blah blah blah" from radical feminists, particularly since I have no problems with married women who choose not to change their surnames. Personally, I don't have the time or audacity to bitch continuously about inequalities that might or might not even exist; I would much rather focus on improving a relationship through positive, beneficial means than simply sit around and bitch to my male counterpart about "hey dude we aren't equal wtf ghey :emo:" whilst putting no effort into improving the relationship myself, but hey, that's just me. Maybe others think that griping nonstop will magically improve their relationships; I certainly don't, and a surname "issue" is such a non-issue to me that I don't see any reason to gripe about it, particularly if my male counterpart isn't even forcing me to change my surname (I probably would change it of my own volition, as I don't like my surname).

[Max Power]

Everett struck the nail on its head.

[A18]

Has nclib ever posted an intelligent topic?

[Keystone Phil]

Has nclib ever posted an intelligent topic?

That would take too much.

[Gabu]

I don't care.  My mom never changed her name.  Others do change their name.  It's entirely up to the couple and people are really reading far too far into such a simple thing.

Those who promote female equality really need to drop frivolous topics like this.  It undermines their message when they go to talk about things that actually are a real problem.

[opebo]

This tradition - like most traditions - is highly negative, as its purpose is the enslavement of some individuals by other individuals.

[MODU]

It's up to the woman when she marries her husband.  I personally would encourage it, since the two families become one.  Of course, who's to say that the two should BOTH change their names, and really become a new family?  So, say John Smith and Jane Doe decide to get married, and become Mr. and Mrs. Johnson?  A name is just a name, but it does help identify family.  So no, it's not a negative tradition.

[Inverted Things]

Neither. It's just a name, get over it.

Exactly. My girlfriend and I had this discussion already, and we've agreed that I will be the one changing the surname.

[ATFFL]

What's in a name?  That which we call a liberal
By any other word would be as stupid.



(With apologies to the Immortal Bard)

[minionofmidas]

By government? Obviously neither.

[Democratic Hawk]

Positive. Isn't it traditional for American women to adopt their family name as a Christian name?

For example, if Betty Boop married Elmer Fudd, wouldn't she be Betty Boop Fudd?

Dave

[KEmperor]

Positive. Isn't it traditional for American women to adopt their family name as a Christian name?

For example, if Betty Boop married Elmer Fudd, wouldn't she be Betty Boop Fudd?

Dave

That is commonly done, yes.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Neither. It's just a name, get over it.

Exactly. My girlfriend and I had this discussion already, and we've agreed that I will be the one changing the surname.

Ya, Mrs. YAKS doesn't sound too appealing.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

It's the woman's choice so it's not even an issue worth talking about. 

[Hatman 🍁]

I'm strongly against the practice of taking the husband's name. I for one, plan on heiphenating my name when I get married. In fact, I enjoy thinking about girls, and what my name would be if I were to marry them . It may "just be a name", but it is a symbol of inequality. Plus, it makes things damn confusing when women keep changing their names.

[dazzleman]

I'm strongly against the practice of taking the husband's name. I for one, plan on heiphenating my name when I get married. In fact, I enjoy thinking about girls, and what my name would be if I were to marry them . It may "just be a name", but it is a symbol of inequality. Plus, it makes things damn confusing when women keep changing their names.

What name will you give your kids?

[Hatman 🍁]

I'm strongly against the practice of taking the husband's name. I for one, plan on heiphenating my name when I get married. In fact, I enjoy thinking about girls, and what my name would be if I were to marry them . It may "just be a name", but it is a symbol of inequality. Plus, it makes things damn confusing when women keep changing their names.

What name will you give your kids?

Obviously the same name as us. I do realize the problem with heiphenated names, as they can get too long. However, I am at a loss for a solution to this problem. One thing I would like to say, I really believe in the institution of marriage, and its principles of love, and equality, and this is issue is deeply embedded in this belief.

[dazzleman]

I'm strongly against the practice of taking the husband's name. I for one, plan on heiphenating my name when I get married. In fact, I enjoy thinking about girls, and what my name would be if I were to marry them . It may "just be a name", but it is a symbol of inequality. Plus, it makes things damn confusing when women keep changing their names.

What name will you give your kids?

Obviously the same name as us. I do realize the problem with heiphenated names, as they can get too long. However, I am at a loss for a solution to this problem. One thing I would like to say, I really believe in the institution of marriage, and its principles of love, and equality, and this is issue is deeply embedded in this belief.

But your name came from your father presumably, itself an indication of inequality.  Ditto for your presumtive wife.  Therefore, you hyphenated name is already a symbol of male dominance over females, by your thinking.

And in order to eradicate this male dominance, the length of everybody's last name will double each generation.  Yet you offer no solution to this problem.  Maybe you need to rethink your theory.

[Everett]

I probably won't get married (my love life is basically six feet under), but personally, hyphenated names would quickly cause problems for both parties involved. My adopted surname, Nikodemski, is simply too long to combine with another name, and even if my husband had a shorter surname, even something like Smith-Nikodemski or Nikodemski-(Blah) would look incredibly stupid, not to mention hard to spell, hard to pronounce, and hard to remember. I don't want to have to truncate my first/middle names to avoid space-related problems, and I don't want my husband to have to do the same. If I had a theoretical daughter named Melinda Nikodemski-Smith and she married a guy named Brandon Lancaster-English, then they would become Melinda Nikodemski-Smith-Lancaster-English and Brandon... yeah, you get the picture. Annoying as hell, and the next trouble would be, whose surname goes first, mine or his?

[Hatman 🍁]

I'm strongly against the practice of taking the husband's name. I for one, plan on heiphenating my name when I get married. In fact, I enjoy thinking about girls, and what my name would be if I were to marry them . It may "just be a name", but it is a symbol of inequality. Plus, it makes things damn confusing when women keep changing their names.

What name will you give your kids?

Obviously the same name as us. I do realize the problem with heiphenated names, as they can get too long. However, I am at a loss for a solution to this problem. One thing I would like to say, I really believe in the institution of marriage, and its principles of love, and equality, and this is issue is deeply embedded in this belief.

But your name came from your father presumably, itself an indication of inequality.  Ditto for your presumtive wife.  Therefore, you hyphenated name is already a symbol of male dominance over females, by your thinking.

And in order to eradicate this male dominance, the length of everybody's last name will double each generation.  Yet you offer no solution to this problem.  Maybe you need to rethink your theory.

I'm going to keep the name my parents have given me for now. If my mom's last name is the same as my dad's, there's no point of adopting my mother's maiden name. It was he choice, and now I have to accept that. Now, it will be my choice when I get married to change my name. A name is who you are. It defines you, that's why I think it is important for women to keep their names- at least part.